Vulnerability and Strength

UNKNOWN

Her voice held steady, not wavering, not losing its strength.

Inside, though, was a different story. Everything was trembling, shattering. But showing her struggle was pointless.

She had no right to make this about her when it was all her doing.

Not after witnessing their reunion. Not when it had tugged at her heartstrings so fiercely.

Did she long to be loved like that? More than she would ever admit.

Was she happy for Max and his little human? Surprisingly, yes.

Because reuniting them meant the human would heal. It meant her death wouldn’t weigh on Delta’s conscience.

It meant she had done something good for someone else after a long time that wasn’t tied to her job.

“Mine,” she repeated when she received no other reaction than Eric snorting from beside her.

She didn’t want to be near him right now, so she took a step into the room and then another until she was at a safe distance for her heart.

Was this a smart move? Only time would tell.

“What do you mean, Del?” Max asked, the warning clear in his voice.

“I lied, Max,” she replied simply. “I lied to her, and I lied to you.”

“You lied,” Estella murmured, staring at her.

“I did. If you look at Max’s neck, you will see for yourself. There is no mark because he is not my mate. He never was.”

ESTELLA

I was confused.

At first, I thought it was a dream.

I knew it wasn’t when he kissed me.

But I couldn’t accept it when I knew he had a mate.

Delta.

Delta, who said she lied. Who urged me to look at the side of his neck where her mark should be, only to find clean, unblemished skin.

I frowned.

I touched the spot.

I frowned more.

Then the anger started rising.

“I am sorry,” she whispered contritely.

~I don’t give a shit. ~

I didn’t say it, but there was the loudest growl in my head. A sudden desire to go and scratch her eyes out. But I held it back too. Mostly because I still felt weak.

“I asked you if you had seen her,” Max spat, and I could feel his own anger vibrating in my body.

“Yes, and I lied. I told her that I was your mate. I told her to leave you with any excuse she could find fit, and I promised that after a while, I would tell you the truth.”

“I fucking trusted you.”

Fury.

Yet it had nothing on the way I felt.

“You did. I am sorry I brought both of you this kind of pain.”

“An apology doesn’t cut it, Delta,” he said, deadpan.

“I didn’t expect it would.” She nodded. “But you made it so easy, Max.”

Easy?

What on earth did she mean? I looked up at Max, who was still holding me securely in his embrace, only to see guilt pass through his eyes.

What for?

MAX

~Kill her!~

It was a clear order, and it came from my previously silent wolf.

~Kill the traitor!~

I felt him taking over. My mind. My body.

I made it fucking easy? Was this her excuse for almost destroying my life? For almost killing Estella? For almost killing me?

For her trying to make me betray my mate and mark her so she could finally move on from Eric?

Oh, no. I’d justified her actions for far too long.

I thought there was something of the girl I once knew left in her and that she would come to her senses after all and be happy despite her misfortune. Despite the injustice her mate had done to her.

But instead of keeping my friendship, she chose to toy with what I held dear, with my destiny.

I was done.

I let my wolf out to go straight for her. The target? Her throat, naturally. That way, she wouldn’t be able to spew more lies. To destroy more people.

But I was stopped. By Eric, no less, who shifted into his wolf form to protect her.

The irony of it—his wolf caring about the woman his human had rejected. He was as much to blame for this shit as she was. Had he given her a chance, none of this would have happened.

Since he decided to meddle, I would have to get to Delta through him. I bared my teeth to him in warning, but he only growled as we circled each other, ready to strike at any minute.

“Max…”

Her calling my name was enough to make me halt.

“No,” she said, speaking again.

I whined.

“No, Max. No.”

I looked at Eric again. My wolf, still strong, urged me to do what I had to. But Estella’s wish was important, and she looked so frail, so vulnerable. She had to come first.

As I padded back to her begrudgingly, her eyes gleamed silver, and her hand on my fur was a relief. Yet, her touch didn’t linger.

Her hand was gone before I could get lost in its tenderness, and I saw her making her way to Delta.

ESTELLA

Werewolf or not, I think there is something savage in every one of us.

This is the only explanation I had to offer at the time, for that part of myself who felt proud of Max, proving his loyalty to me by trying to attack Delta.

A liar.

A proper villain like most stories have.

But in the stories, the villains rarely came to save those they sought to destroy.

It wasn’t what made me stop Max from getting into a fight with Eric, though. It was the memory of years ago, of what he had done to that rogue.

As much as I thought Max’s wrath was justified, I never wanted to witness this kind of violence in my life again.

That’s the main reason I called him back, or rather, his wolf, who always seemed to listen and dote on me.

But with Max a bit calmer, it was my turn to march toward Delta. Well, it wasn’t really marching in my condition.

It felt like a struggle just to put one foot in front of the other. The distance was short, made easier by her standing there, unmoving. Waiting.

Her silence only fueled my anger.

How could she just stand there, not saying a word? Why didn’t she just vanish? She was only causing harm.

I lifted my arm to strike her, and it felt heavy. But she deserved at least a slap.

That much I could do, despite the small voice in my head screaming for me to do more, to punish her more severely.

I was about to do it when I saw movement from the corner of my eye. Eric, in his wolf form, was creeping closer with a low growl.

I looked at her, but she wasn’t looking at me anymore.

She was staring at Eric.

Pain.

Resentment.

Anger.

Tenderness.

Hope.

Love…

I lowered my hand. My eyes fell on her mark.

“He is your mate.”

It wasn’t a question. I knew.

She nodded but didn’t say anything else.

“Why?”

That was a question. One that Max answered from behind me. I turned to see him in his human form, a sheet from my bed wrapped around his waist.

“Because he rejected her for not being a virgin when they mated,” he sneered. “But his wolf reacts on instinct, protecting her. Seems his beast is more sensitive than him.”

This earned him a threatening growl from Eric, who stayed shifted, obviously not wanting to appear naked before us.

“Are you insulted?” Max taunted. “You treated your mate worse than any man I know.

“You fully mated with her, marked her, and then rejected her because you’re a judgmental asshole, and now you have the nerve to step in for her when she fucked up my life?”

This reminded me of something she’d said a few moments ago.

“Why did she say you made it easier for her, Max?” I asked him.

“Of all the lies she told, that was the only truth.” He sighed, looking away.

“Max…,” I urged.

“You are my mate.”

“What?” I stared at him, unsure if I’d heard him correctly.

“You are my mate,” he repeated slowly as he took a few steps closer to me. “My second chance mate, as the Moon Goddess put it.”

No, this couldn’t be.

“But I thought… Nobody ever said that…,” I stammered.

“That it was possible to be mated to a human.” He nodded. “It is possible but not likely, given that your kind doesn’t believe mine exists.”

I felt so confused on so many levels I couldn’t even begin to describe, and it wasn’t just Max’s words causing my confusion. The conflict was starting from within.

There was the voice in my head that kept whispering in plural that we could be complete now, spreading happiness throughout my entire body and straight to my heart.

It filled me with all the strength I’d been lacking for over a year now.

Then there was my mind, bringing back all my memories so I could finally piece everything together.

How Max attacked Patrick the first day I met him because he tried to touch me.

His scent.

How I was always able to find him when I wanted to.

How he tore apart that rogue because he tried to kill me.

How he kept his distance when I entered adolescence.

How he pushed me away back in Greece during the full moon.

His overreaction after I came back, having given my virginity to Laurent.

The hickeys on my neck, where a mating mark usually sits.

The secret he was keeping and wanted to reveal to me before I left, and I didn’t let him because I was scared that my heart would be broken.

~There’s only you for me.~

Every time I asked him about his mate.

~There’s only you for me.~

Every time I gave him a chance to tell me the truth.

~There’s only you for me.~

When I confronted him that evening in the woods.

~You are too young. You must live your life.~

Never the truth.

That happy part of me, the part that had a voice that made me feel divided in two, toned down, it retreated before the anger and hurt started running through me.

This morning it had been a struggle to get out of bed, but now I was in front of Max in a flash, my hand rising and falling on his cheek.

Rising again. Falling on his neck. Rising again. Forming a fist. Falling again.

Rising.

Falling.

Rising.

Falling.

Rising.

Falling, and each time I hurt him, it was as if I was hurting a part of myself as well. Because I probably was.

MAX

“This is all your fault.”

It was spoken with the softest of voices when her arms got tired of hitting me and dropped heavily by her side.

I closed my eyes.

She was right.

Nothing can come between two people if at least one of them doesn’t leave an opening, and I did.

Was I still angry at Delta, who had slipped out of the room at some point along with Eric?

Yes.

Did I ever want to see her again?

No.

But the main blame was mine, and when she told me to leave, I fought my natural instinct to hold her close to me, and I respected her wish.

But I hadn’t managed to walk out the door when I heard her groaning. I turned around and saw her doubling over in pain.

This time I didn’t ignore my instinct. I went to her and held her.

She tried to push me away while her eyes were silver, and her wolf was trying to reach mine.

I let her go and took a step back.

She let out a cry, and I took her again in my arms, cradling her softly as I led her to her bed. Absentmindedly, I noticed that she was wearing one of my T-shirts.

Her eyes were still silver, and she was clinging to me.

“Go away,” she hissed, but her arms were wrapped around me.

I couldn’t believe that this was happening. That her wolf, who was not even fully active yet, was hurting her so I wouldn’t leave. So, I would stay.

“Tell her to stop torturing Estella,” I ordered my wolf.

It was the first time in over a year that I’d spoken to him and demanded something of him. I was surprised when he obeyed and tried to communicate with her wolf.

Estella’s sudden unconsciousness took me by surprise. But I didn’t dare to move away from her. Instead, I watched her sleep, wondering what would happen when she woke up.

“Quite a sight, isn’t it?” A woman’s voice echoed from the doorway.

She was older, dressed in a white robe. Clearly a doctor, like me.

“Who called you?” I asked, my eyebrows furrowing.

“Delta.”

I let out a low growl, but she paid it no mind, pulling up a chair next to the bed.

“I know you’re mad at her, but at least she had the sense to try and fix things. She also mentioned you might need some clothes.”

“You call this fixing?” I spat out.

“Healing takes time, as I’m sure you’re aware.” She offered a sad smile, leaving a pile of clothes on a nearby chair. “For the first few days, you won’t be able to leave her side.”

“I wouldn’t leave her anyway.”

“I know, but this is different. You’ll have to deal with the two sides of her personality until she comes to terms with everything.

“You’ll have to live with the adoration of her wolf and the anger of her human.”

“I deserve to suffer. She doesn’t,” I choked out, fighting back tears.

“No use crying over spilled milk, Max.”

“I should have told her sooner.”

“Maybe, but you couldn’t have known this would happen.”

But I did.

I told her about Eva’s warnings, Luz’s warnings, my doubts, my intentions, my insecurities. Everything. She listened without judgment or disapproval.

“Sometimes, loving too much, caring too much, can lead us to make the wrong decisions.” She sighed finally.

A conversation with Julian from years ago, when we first met, came to mind.

~“You’ll understand when you mess up, because you don’t seem like the type who cares what others think.”~

I had told him I was nothing like him, who couldn’t protect his own sister. And yet, here I was, failing to protect Estella.

“Max,” the doctor said, breaking my train of thought. “I know this seems incredibly hard right now, and it is. You’re going to have to rebuild your relationship with her from scratch.

“Your bond is deep, but it’s strained right now. You can’t rely on it. Her wolf is unstable at the moment, so I suggest you don’t mark her.”

“Mark her?” I laughed. “In this state? I would never do that.”

“It could help, though, because her human side will heal faster.”

“But her wolf will become more dependent on me, right?”

“I’m afraid so, yes.”

I was afraid of that too. But I was afraid of so many things.

That she would never forgive me.

That she would never heal.

That she would never trust me.

That she would reject me.

I didn’t care if she refused to be marked, as long as we had a chance. As long as she still loved me. Because if she did, I would do everything to make it work. No matter what it took.

The doctor left, and I lay down next to my girl, holding her close and nuzzling her neck.

In her sleep, she didn’t resist me. She snuggled closer, resting her head on my chest.