Chapter 161: Chapter 82.1

then, yernia put her hand around cassian’s waist. this wasn’t just guidance. she was helping him stabilize his mind.

“i’m guiding you so don’t push yourself too hard. i’m not alright if you’re not.”

cassian, who always wanted her guidance, hadn’t welcomed her since they visited the forest of hallucinations. perhaps, he didn’t like the fact that yernia got hurt because of him. yernia didn’t like that. in that regard, cassian hadn’t changed that much since he was young until now. he grew taller but he was still immature. when yernia was young, she got crushed by cassian’s power as an esper. he thought she was a hallucination this time and attacked her without hesitation. still, yernia never thought it was his fault.

“i also want to do it for you, cassian.”

“…….”

“and, i’m fine now. there’s not a scratch on my back either.”

yernia’s back got injured from cassian’s attack but it wasn’t that fatal in the first place. her back was slightly swollen from the bruises but had no scars.

“the swelling is almost gone.”

“you’re too kind to me.”

when yernia didn’t fall back to the bed, cassian sighed and hugged her shoulder while clinging to her. compared to the past, his grip was pretty weak.

“it’s warm,” yernia mumble the obvious as she buried her face in his chest.

cassian smirked. “you feel warm when i hug you, right?”

“well, i don’t know. maybe, the space is too small.”

“it’s hot. can’t you feel it?”

cassian chuckled when yernia hugged him even tighter.

she was glad that he had laughed. cassian didn’t show much emotion when he was with yernia, but she knew he was having a hard time. after visiting the forest of hallucinations, cassian’s playfulness diminished that he barely smiled at her. it broke her heart.

“it’s warm. thanks to you, i won’t catch a cold.”

cassian sniffed yernia’s neck, breathing heavily as if he was trying to engrave her sweet scent in his brain. yernia, who had stuck one side of her cheek against his chest that was moving up and down, slowly swept his muscled back with her hands.

“i don’t want you to have a hard time.”

hopefully, her warmth would melt cassian’s anxiety. “i already told you that hurting me wasn’t your fault. i don’t blame you.”

when yernia raised her head, their eyes met in the dark. suddenly, cassian cradled her cheeks and slowly brushed her lids with his thumbs. his voice dropped into a low murmur, “i still blame myself.”

“…….”

“i feel like an idiot for not being able to protect you. i only hurt you every time——-” cassian’s deep baritone faltered as he swallowed hard. yernia didn’t want cassian to have a hard time with what happened when it wasn’t even on purpose. nevertheless, whatever she told him now wouldn’t probably be comforting.

“i trust you, cassian.” yernia didn’t want him to drown in his guilt. “i trust you even if you don’t believe me.”

“why?”

“because i know you best.”

the situation was out of his control and he had already confirmed that he didn’t want to attack yernia. if he really wanted to do that, he wouldn’t have stopped beating her. she would have been in a lot more pain than she was now. cassian might be stronger than her but she wasn’t disappointed or scared of him because she knew that he didn’t intend to kill.

“i know you better than yourself.”

“…….”

“so don’t worry too much.”

if cassian was still anxious, she could put her faith in him because she believed what she had witnessed.

“hurry up and sleep. you haven’t slept in days.”

yernia patted cassian’s back at regular intervals, praying that his anxiety and sleeplessness would go away.

***

a man with a shaved head was laughing among the military members.

“hahaha. you’re good at joking, my lady.”  his voice was so loud that even those who were far away glanced back at them.

all right. she was doing great. yernia winked as if urging him to laugh more, and the man, vic, frowned for a split second before laughing again. yernia smiled from ear to ear as she looked over her shoulder to see cassian standing in the distance. he didn’t even look her way, and he seemed rather disinterested to them as he talked to someone else. on the contrary, only the people around cassian glanced at their side.

“so where did you say i should move that?” yernia spoke louder on purpose. when she pointed at the barrel behind vic, his eyes went as large as saucers.

“what?”

“i’ll move it for you.”

after visiting the forest of hallucinations, the battle was halted for a while because cassian and captain felix had to recover. nevertheless, cassian didn’t have time to stick to the barracks since he had a lot of things to do.

‘you used to say that you would go, but you didn’t go.’