Brooke’s Shattered Heart

BROOKE

“But Colin promised! He said he wouldn’t leave!” Sydney’s been sulking in her bed ever since we made it home from the hospital.

“Baby, I’m sorry. Sometimes people make promises they don’t keep.”

Every part of me is shattered inside. I’m broken, Sydney is broken, even Luna has been sulking in the corner on her doggy bed since Colin hasn’t been back.

I manage to coax Sydney up and into her clothes in time to drive her to school, her first day back since her traumatic experience. I did let her take a couple of days off to recoup at home, but of course, the atmosphere stayed gloomy.

Pulling up to the school, late as usual, I see Mrs. Baker waiting. As I slow the car down, she starts walking up next to my window. Expecting to be bashed like always, I don’t give her a chance to say anything first. “Yes, I know, late again as usual,” I sigh.

“It’s okay, Brooke. I’m sorry for being so hard on you. I know how difficult it is for you to juggle everything on your own,” she says apologetically.

I think I must grow bug eyes, hearing her all of a sudden being so nice to me.

“And the nurse informed me about Sydney’s hospital visit this past weekend. How are you doing, honey?” Mrs. Baker peers her head into the backseat to offer Sydney a sympathetic look.

“I’m okay,” she mumbles.

“I’m so happy you’re okay, sweetie,” she replies and brings her focus back to me.

“It must’ve been very scary for you. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.” I’m speechless, to say the least. Why is this hateful woman being nice all of a sudden?

She helps unstrap Sydney from the back seat. I give Syd an extra-long squeeze, feeling like all the breath is leaving my body as I let her run off into the school.

It’s always been hard to let Syd leave me. It’s harder now that I came so close to losing her.

Once Sydney disappears inside, it’s just me and Mrs. Baker. I have no idea what to say to her. We’ve never made anything like small talk before. I fiddle with the key in the ignition and wonder if I can just leave.

“Oh, by the way, Brooke. That Colin…I like him. He’s a keeper,” Mrs. Baker says with a smile. My heart drops hearing those words. Little does she know, Colin is already gone.

***

When I reach the office, Julie is all smiles. I figure she probably knows I’m in a bad mood and she’s trying to make me feel better, but I’d rather just go hide in my office till my first appointment.

“Hi, Brooke!” she sings.

“Why are you so chippy?”

“I’m always chippy!”

“Just tell me…whatever it is,” I say, still not in the mood.

“Colin called…again…” Her smile fades when I glower at her, but she knows I don’t want to talk to Colin. I don’t want to talk about Colin. I don’t want to think about Colin.

“Did you send him the referral?” I ask.

“Yes...but...he’s refusing to be seen by anybody else.”

“Well, too bad. He doesn’t get to make that decision,” I say, rubbing my face in stress and anger.

“Brooke...” I give her another evil glare, warning her not to try and sway my opinion on this one. But as always, my hints are ignored.

“Brooke, I think you should just listen to him. He sounded like he was losing his mind over the phone! He was so worried about Sydney, and he was begging me to get you to talk to him.”

“I can’t, Julie.”

“Why not?”

“I—I just can’t!” I’m getting all worked up now, raising my voice at her.

“Ohh my god! You’re in love with him!” Her revelation makes her mouth drop open. I can’t look at her and I can’t speak, my throat getting too clogged with emotions. No point denying it, anyway.

“You do, don’t you?” she says, somehow sounding like she feels my pain. “You need to give him a chance, then, Brooke!”

“A chance?” I shout in shock. “A chance! Every time I have given someone a chance, they have ruined me, Julie. I can’t do it anymore!” I swallow, trying to choke back the tears.

“I—I can’t talk about this now,” I add, rubbing my face again and walking away from the conversation.

I trap myself in my office for a few minutes to collect my mind, but it’s not long before I have to go out to the exercise room for my first patient, a sweet high school athlete named Ricky.

It’ll be fine. I put on my professional face and voice and do my damned job.

“Just like that. Give me twenty high knee raises, Ricky,” I’m coaching my client, when suddenly I hear a commotion out at reception. When I look up, Colin is standing out there, waving his arms as he says something to Julie.

He looked completely disheveled. His hair is a mess, tugged out of place like he’s been constantly running his hands through it.

His skin looks tired, and when he looks up and sees me staring, his eyes are red like he hasn’t slept in days.

“Brooke!” he calls, ignoring whatever Julie is saying and walking toward me.

“Excuse me for a second, Ricky,” I say to my client, and head in the opposite direction from Colin into my office. I don’t want to talk to him; I don’t want to hear what he has to say, or even look at him.

I can’t.

“Brooke! Please!” He follows me until I slam the door in his face, leaning my body against it in case he tries to come in—not that my weight could stop him, anyway.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Colin!” I shout through the door as I hear his head thump against it.

“Pleeeeease, Brooke.” Even though I can’t see him pleading, I feel it like puppy dog eyes. I squint my eyes, but I can’t help spilling the tears that have welled up.

I try to hide my sniffles as I slump my weightless body to the floor.

I hear him let out a faint sigh. “Just listen, then, please... I did say those things, okay?... But it’s not what you think.”

“It was five years ago when I started playing as John’s replacement. He was pissed at me, acting like a dick, putting me down, so... I threw it back in his face. I was a cocky, fucking idiot, Brooke.”

“I’d never dream of hurting you, I swear... please... please believe me.” I can hear the graveness in his voice, and tears trickle down my cheeks.

I want to believe him, but something inside me just can’t. That day at the hospital was the worst day of my life, and he made it so much worse. And he didn’t just break my heart, he broke Sydney’s too.

It felt like the last straw. My heart could only take so many beatings before it died, and that’s how I feel now. Dead, pulseless, unresponsive.

“Brooke? Please say something... Please believe me,” he pleads again through the wood of the door.

“I can’t, Colin,” I whisper, the words lifeless through my sobs. “I can’t... please... just go.”