|22| "you must be his parents"

We never realize how frozen we are,

Until someone starts to melt our ice.

~Bridgett Devoue

_____________

I'm sure in most people's eyes I look like I'm a clean freak right now, or that I'm slightly insane for organizing the same area three times in a row, I've spent so much time making sure my apartment looks as perfect as can be,

And sure, maybe I am a little crazy for cleaning areas that Aarons's parents won't see...but I want to make a good impression, I want his parents to feel at home here, and to be quite honest I'm so nervous that I'm cleaning to ignore my stomach turning,

I'm falling for their son...and meeting them is a huge step in our relationship, this most certainly isn't the way I would've pictured meeting them nor planned it, but I'd never keep his parents from seeing him, especially after a procedure, so I'll have to swallow my anxiety down and just be myself and pray that it will be enough at the end of the day,

But at times being yourself won't ever be enough, and thinking about the thought that being yourself isn't enough...well that's a difficult pill to swallow, to some people you'll always be perfect in their eyes, you'll be enough, more than enough, and in others eyes, you won't ever measure up the expectations they hold on what you should look like, act like, and do.

Walking inside my room I open my nightstand feeling like I need some words from my dad, so I turn to the page labeled 'meeting the parent/parents'

Dear buttercup,

God you cant imagine how hard this letter is to write, my beautiful girl grown up and taking the next big steps in her relationship, I know that meeting the parents can be terrifying, you may feel like you need to put on an act, be perfect and do what you think they would want, but I have to say to parents it's very noticeable when someone is putting on a show and acting a certain way, so please be your self and if you are I am almost certain they will love you, and if by some weird circumstance they don't then clearly they don't deserve to have you in there life, because you my sweet girl are so incredibly kind and caring, you have the biggest heart and I am certain when i say any parent would be delighted to have you as there sons another half, so go into it with an open mind and heart, don't act the way you think they want you to, be your self, I wish you the best my sweet girl and I hope you landed yourself a great man to make you happy, I can say this with full certainty that your mother and I are very proud of you

With all the love in the world, dad ♡︎

A smile lifts at the corners of my mouth as I close the journal, my dad is right if I'm not enough for his parents at least I was enough for mine, as well as enough for myself.

Truth be told, I would be crushed if they didn't like me since they are Aarons's parents...

"Sunshine stop worrying" Aarons sighs from the couch as I walk into the living room

"I don't know what you mean Aaron why in the world would I be nervous" I give him a reassuring smile, though by the expression on his face he sees my lies

He rolls his eyes and gestures me to him with his fingers

I slowly walk over to the couch and sit on the side he doesn't have the stitches

He cups my cheeks and looks me deeply in the eyes just gazing at me for what seems like centuries "they're going to love you, you don't have to worry" he whispers with so much love and certainty, that I genuinely believe him for a moment

"You don't know that Aaron," I say giving up on acting like I'm fine like I'm not terrified on the inside

"I might not, but I will tell you my parents would have to be entirely stupid to not love you" he lays a soft gentle kiss on my lips that pulls at my heartstrings

I sigh and lay my forehead against his "I don't think I have ever been more of a mess since I met you" I laugh

"What do you mean by mess?" He asks curios

"I don't even want to count how many times I have cried in your company or freaked out, oh and not to mention how annoying and clingy I am" I sigh

He laughs and I feel what feels like a swarm of butterflies dancing around in my body from the very bottom of my feet to the top of my head, his laugh fills me with so much warmth and happiness

It feels like home.

The sound of his voice...feels like safety, like if I was stuck in a burning building and his voice spoke behind me, id feel safe and okay, I'd know that I would be alright in the end, because he'd always find me, and he'd somehow always care,

"I don't mind you crying in my company I would rather you call me anytime you feel down so I can be there for you because I want to be the person you feel safe with, the person you can go to when your life's difficult, and also the person you go to when happy, I want your everything Vanessa and that includes your worries and tears" he whispers

"I would take all your worries and tears away if I could, but I can't so please let me be the person to at least be there to make it even a little better, don't hide your whole self from me just because you think you need to appear happy all the time," he says with so much sincerity that it made me tear up

"I trust you..." I murmur in his ear as I hug him

Before he can continue I continue

"I think that's why I show every emotion I feel with you...because I trust you, I mean the minute you hug me I feel safe and like everything will be okay, I cant promise you that I won't occasionally try hiding my feelings from you but I sure as hell will try to be open" I admit quietly

"I got so used to hiding behind a smile that it's going to be difficult for me to be open about all my emotions at first, don't get me wrong I'm a very happy person but somewhere along that smile I would use it to hide my hurt and I think it will take time to fully break that wall down," I tell him quietly in his ear so he doesn't see that I am crying

I remind myself that crying isn't a weakness...it takes a lot of strength to cry in front of others, to be so open and vulnerable with your feelings,

And sometimes your body needs to release the tears its been holding in for so long, to let yourself go, sometimes a good cry makes you feel better afterward

"I get it, it will be hard for me to be fully open as well since I got so used to being cold and shutting everyone out...but for you, I will break those walls down," he tells me gently

"I'll break Every damn wall there is until all that's left is only me" he whispers against my lips

I smile against his lips "all I want is you, so that seems fine to me" and I seal that complete truth with a kiss

"And all I want you as well" he mumbles against my lips

"And your kisses as well" he smirks before kissing me breathless

We get interrupted by a knock on the door

"I'll get it since you shouldn't be walking an unnecessary amount right now" I whisper standing up and running my sweaty hands over my leggings

He grunts "the doctor said I can start walking around in a few days, that's practically today"

"stay," I tell him sternly

"Yes ma'am" he salutes with a smirk

I roll my eyes and walk to my door, I open it with a big smile on my face ready to meet the very people who raised the man I am falling for

I'm met with a beautiful woman with golden-like brow hair that stops at her shoulders, her chocolate-colored eyes look kind, she looks to be in her mid-40s, her cream-colored blouse and black pants make her look put together and like a rich businesswoman, I look down to her hands and see a bag from a restaurant,

Moving my eyes to my left I see a tall man that looks to be around 6'2, he looks like he's in his late 40s as well,

He has the same dark hair and piercing blue eyes as Aaron, and he has on black pants and a black button-up shirt making him look like he recently got off of work

"Hello, you must be Aarons's parents, I'm Vanessa" I smile, hoping that my nerves aren't showing

The beautiful woman steps forward "oh hunter she's real! And even more beautiful than Aaron described" she says looking at her husband with a big smile as her hand goes up to her chest

I immediately feel the heat creeping up my cheeks

"I for sure thought that kid made her up" the man laughs shaking his head

"I'm hunter Huxley, Aarons's father" he holds out his hand

"Nice to meet you" I smile connecting our hands in a handshake

I can for sure see where Aaron got his unbelievable looks from...his parents look straight out of a magazine

"I'm Lillian his mother" she grins immediately pulling me in for a hug

"come in, Aaron is on the couch" I smile nodding over to the direction of my living room

As they take their shoes off Lillian asks "how is he doing?"

"He's been pretty good, a little sore but since he began taking the pain medication he's been healing faster" I smile proudly

Lillian and her husband share a look, almost as if having a conversation without words

"He took pain meds?" His father asks in shock

I clear my throat "I had a very hard talk with him where he told me the reason he didn't want to take them, but the pain was unbearable at some point so I talked him through it and still do each time he has to take them" I say quietly

"He must really love you like he has been telling us for the past year, I mean even we couldn't get him to take an Advil for a headache" his mother smiles shaking her head

"Loved me for a year?" I say slightly confused while nervously laughing

"Yeah...he's been saying that his assistant is his favorite part of the day, that he'd practically do anything to have you continue smiling at him, then about a year ago he admitted that whatever he tried it didn't stop him from falling in love with you" his mother grins as she speaks in hushed tones

"shit...just don't tell him she said that he would skin her alive," hunter says quietly as he laughs making his statement seem less harmless

My heart does endless flips and I feel my whole body catching on fire, he loves me? Does he love me?

For a whole year?

I want to run up and kiss his stupid face off and tell him I'm falling deeply in love with him, but I am guessing its best to do that when his parents leave

Or maybe I love him...how does one know the difference between falling in love and being in love? Many people say when they're in love with someone they just keep falling as years go by, but how do you keep falling if you've reached the bottom and ended up in love?

I can't believe he loves me, I try to hide the surprise and pure joy I feel from someone loving me but I feel like I fail miserably when his father laughs

Someone loves me apart from my parents...the realization hits like a hundred weights against my chest

"He hasn't told you he loves you yet has he?" his father cringes

"No" I whisper with a small smile as I look down, my blush comes full force

"shit, I guess you should pretend this conversation never happened so our son doesn't murder us for ruining that bit" his father raises his brows and laughs

"Your secrets safe with me," I say quietly with a smile as I lead them to Aaron

As we walk toward Aaron and my eyes instantly connect with his, my heart skips multiple beats, he smiles at me, and I feel like I'm floating, that maybe this is a dream?

Does he love me?

"OH my sweet boy, how are you," his mother says running up to him, just then his eyes move over to his parents

Its as if he didn't see them in the room when he looked at me, I smile at the floor as I follow his parents closer to him

It takes everything inside of me to not run into the bathroom and scream at the moment

"Hi mom, I'm fine just a little sore" Aaron chuckles as his mom hugs him

"Hi son," his father says patting him on the back a couple of times

"His father, aren't you going to ask how your perfect son is doing, " Aaron asks snickering slightly

"You're fine, you're a Huxley no little kidney donation will cause anything major" his father rolls his eyes as he crosses his arms over his chest

His mother laughs "I brought you some Блинные and Пирожки and of course some Борщ" her mother smiles as she walks over to my kitchen

-( crepes) (pirozhi\ which are like a fried type bread thing with whatever filling you want to add like apple, jam and even mashes potatoes!) (borsht\ classic beetroot soup) (i love that I'm Russian but can't even explain the food that I'm used to eating...)

"Is it all right dear if I put these in your fridge?" Lillian asks pointing to the bag

"Of course" I give her a nod

"Thank you, dear, oh and fill free to try some of the food as well" she winks

I nod smiling at her

She fits.

So damn perfectly in my family,

I have never seen my dad smile or laugh so much in one sitting

My mother can't stop grinning at Vanessa as she talks about what she loves and how she wants a pet frog

I don't think she even realizes the effect she has on my parents

I don't know why she was ever nervous to meet them, anyone would have to be an ignoramus idiot to not love her

"You must come to my restaurant sometime, it's on the house for you, of course, I can teach you how to make all the classic Russian foods and treats" my mother grins at her

"I would love to, maybe after Aaron fully heals" Vanessa beams up at my mother clearly excited at the invitation

"Well you're just an absolute angel for helping out, he can be a handful" my father laughs from where he's seated next to me on the couch

"Yeah and stubborn but I don't mind, I like spending time with him and he's been pretty good at listening to me" she smiles at my dad

My father throws his head back with laughter "yeah he's always been a stubborn one, like that time he refused to wear gear when I taught him how to ride a bike because apparently 'only babies wear gear' he ended up with a sprained ankle but even after that still refused to wear a helmet or any of the other gear" he says shaking his head

I hear Vanessa's beautiful angelic laughter fill the room, I can listen to that beautiful noise all day long and still crave to hear more of it

"Whatever the gear was useless" I mumble under my breath

Vanessa full-on laughs "yeah it just protects you from hurting yourself, definitely very useless," Vanessa says smiling at me, the corners of her eyes are crinkled and I want nothing more than to pull her to me and kiss her senselessly

My parents join in on the laughter

"Laugh all you want" I roll my eyes trying to hold in a smile of my own

Seeing Vanessa in the same room as my parents getting along laughing and smiling means the damn world to me

I love her.

So damn much,

I need her as much as I need air to breathe, my heart beats for her and her beautiful presence and hers alone.

She filled the hole I had in my heart with my sister's passing, I truly thought I would never know what it was like to know happiness again or be completely in love some someone.

Yet here I am sitting in a girl's apartment who completely took my breath and heart away, she calms me, brings me the warmth my heart has been craving for so long,

Her very presence fills me with so much contentment that I can't think straight, how is it possible to love someone this much?

How can your heart just lead you to someone and cling to them with everything possible, and make no move to let go, my heart saw her beautiful smile, heard her angelic voice, and felt her laugh runs down my spine And it decided to hold on and never let go,

I had no control in the matter, no matter how cruel and cold I was to her hoping to lead her away from me she still smiled, laughed and with each smile and laugh the wall around my heart began to break,

It broke,

until it physically pained me to be cruel to her, my heart started needing her presence, it needed her to laugh and smile to keep beating, and it craved everything she could give

And at some point, I started thinking with my heart instead of my head and it lead me closer to her, I started slowly letting her in until my mouth ran faster than my brain could think and started inviting her to lunch to talk about work and showing her around New York

I love her too much to think about the fact she could have someone better

Someone who deserves her kindness more than me

But that's the thing about falling in love

All logical thinking gets blown away, there's no damn way I can see myself ever being able to leave her, my heart won't handle her leaving my life.

The next couple of hours fill my heart with the warmth and joy I desperately craved since my kidney donation,

At some point, Vanessa quickly leaves to the bathroom and a few minutes of silence later my mother speaks

"Aaron I love her so much, she's just the sweetest girl" my mother whispers as tears fill her eyes

"She's pretty incredible son, you better hold onto her and never be stupid enough to let go," my father says

"I would never be foolish enough to let my girlfriend go" I grin

"GIRLFRIEND!!!!!" Mother shouts and she shoots up from her seat just as Vanessa comes back a minute later

"You idiot how dare you keep this amazing information from your parents" mother says scoffing in disbelief

Vanessa laughs as she sits next to me and takes my hand in hers

"Well which one of you will give us the details on how he asked the question," my mother says excitedly clapping her hands together once

Vanessa throws her head back in laughter "more like he told me to be his girlfriend"

"Of course, he told you and not asked" mother shakes her head pinching the bridge of her nose

"it was super romantic too, he was in a sexy hospital gown and there was blood on it, his eyes were all sleepy and I was all delusional on no sleep" she smiles looking at me as she finishes speaking to my parents

"Well shit son, cant wait to see how you propose" father snorts

I see in the corner of my eye Vanessa's face being covered in blush, it makes me smile

I love when she gets all flustered

"Well I didn't completely mind the way he asked, well more told me" Vanessa utters quietly

"It was completely Aaron, and I liked that there were no dramatics and big signs, just us both vulnerable and together, that's all I can ask for" Vanessa shrugs smiling

And just when I thought I couldn't love her anymore

Is it possible to fall in love twice?

"That's sweet but I swear Aaron if you guys get to the stage of a proposal and you do some stupid shit I will slap the idiocy out of you" mother scolds with a serious expression as she looks at me

"I promise mother I won't do it in a hospital" I laugh holding my hands up

"Well that sucks I was hoping to see you on one knee in a room that smells like cleaning products and blood" Vanessa dramatically sighs

"I mean that can be arranged if that's where your heart is set as a proposal spot" I smirk

"Absolutely NOT!" Mother cries out

"mom we're kidding" I shake my head

"I'm not" Vanessa blushes

My head snaps to hers and I lift a brow, to which she smiles at

"I don't care where the location of a proposal may be, as long as you love each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together " she shrugs

"I mean my dad proposed to my mother while they were on their couch" Vanessa smiles as if remembering a memory being told to her

"It was December and they just finished watching a Christmas movie, the end credit songs were playing and my mother had a big grin on her face as she listened to the music with her eyes closed, she had a whipped cream mustache from hot cocoa, and my father said at that moment he knew he couldn't wait another moment without proposing, he wanted them to have a million more of those kinds of moments, so he just blurted out the words would you marry me" she smiles as she speaks, her eyes fill with tears

"Well that's actually cute," my mother says with a sad smile

"Yeah, I still have the ring my dad bought her quickly from the convenience store after asking her" she laughs

"It's a simple plastic little pink ring with fake diamonds in it, but my dad needed her to have a ring immediately"

"And then a week later he gave her a real ring, and she accepted but never took the other ring off of her other hand, she said it was the ring that held the most memory" she smiles sadly

My parents both smile and my mother then looks at her confused "you said you have it now? Did she give it to you"

"My mother passed away 5 years ago from heart failure, it was my dad's heart, he gave it to her and it lasted 9 years until it failed again" she whispers

"Oh I'm so sorry for mentioning it I didn't know" my mother whispers

Vanessa gives her a warm smile "no it's alright"

We talked for a while more until we say our goodbyes to them, and then we were left alone,

Vanessa helps me up to the bathroom and then after getting ready for bed we lay together, with her head resting on my chest as my fingers are tangled in her hair as I play with it

She is careful to lay on the side my stitches are not on, she puts her hand on the top of my chest as she runs her hand up and down between my pecs in a gentle calming manor

We lay in peaceful silence, both of us in our heads, mine being of today, the way her presence filled the room and made it whole, how she fits like a puzzle piece, I want to make those kinds of memories with her all the time.

"Aaron" she whispers into my chest

My movements in her hair stop for a moment but I continue a second later "yes sunshine?"

She doesn't say anything for a moment, I feel her breath on my chest, she kisses it lightly

"I love you" she whispers

"I thought I was falling but I realized I already fell I just didn't feel it since you caught me, I'm sure there are more cliffs to fall off of with you but I know I fell off the big one already" she continues whispering in my chest

And I would catch her every time

------notes-----

didn't mean for there to be a love confession this early but freaking oopsie -it will continue on in the next chapter-

I feel like the characters are just moving on their own and I'm over here like (😃why y'all saying I love you so fast) but I just write it on autopilot and then I'm looking at the chapters like "oops" that happened fast (sorry if this is to fast for you guys, I'm not planning everything to be this fast!😭I promise) (but they have known each other for two years...sooooo)

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