"Connor, help me out here! David's gonna fucking kill me."
"I'm trying but I told you I wasn't good with Bowser," I replied, my irritation evident in my voice. "Should've just let me be Bowser Jr."
"Bowser's more powerful," Jake argued.
"Every character is powerful if you use them right," David said, right before his Jigglypuff took Jake's last life.
Jake threw his controller down on the couch. "Shit. Finish him off, Connor. He only has one life left."
"So do I," I responded, trying to use Bowser to grab onto Jigglypuff.
Before either of us could attack, though, I accidentally fell off the edge of the stage and lost my last life. "Whoops."
Jake, who was way too competitive, looked at me like he wanted to punch me. Meanwhile, David, Ben, and Isaac high-fived their victory.
I shrugged at Jake. "I told you I'm only good with Bowser Jr."
I had arrived at Jake's house 30 minutes earlier; Tyler, Ben, and Isaac were already there, David had arrived a few minutes later, and Josh, as per usual, was running very late. We all sat around a large flatscreen in the basement of Jake's house, playing Smash Bros. Ultimate on his Switch.
I was finally cleared to drive the other day when my doctor changed my cast out for a boot. It was freeing not having to rely on other people to get around. Also, for once, I didn't need convincing to hangout with Jake, though maybe the thought of Josh being there was what had actually convinced me and not my blossoming bromance with Jake.
Jake's older brother was away at college; his younger brother, Kaden, who was in 7th grade, occasionally peeked his head down the stairs to ask Jake if he could play. To which Jake, as the mature older brother he was, would always reply, "Go away, dickhead."
"Let's just play free-for-all," Ben suggested.
Jake went back and changed the settings. As we were playing, Jake asked me, "Connor, if I asked Olivia out, do you think she'd say yes?"
I looked over at Jake while Isaac and David laughed at him. I didn't really see the point in lying to him, so I said, "No," which made the guys laugh harder.
"Dude, you should just ask out Sophia," Ben said. "She's into you and isn't out of your league."
Jake paused the game so that he could lean over and punch Ben's arm. "Olivia isn't out of my league. And I'm not into Sophia."
"Why?" Tyler asked. "She skates, you skate. She's hot, you're...you."
"Sophia's...clingy," Jake said.
"No, she's not," Ben replied. "She's chill."
"I'm not into Sophia, okay?" Jake said in a drop it tone. But then, maybe to take the heat off of himself, he turned to me. "Who are you into, Connor?"
"Yeah, why'd you turn down Rylee?" Ben asked.
"Rylee's hot," David said, nodding.
I shrugged, trying to keep a cool demeanor. "I don't know. I'm not really into anyone right now."
"He's probably into Olivia," Isaac commented.
"I'm not," I said in a sharp tone. Then, more calmly, I repeated, "I'm not into Liv."
I tried to be one of the boys, to be like them, talking about girls and calling each other names. But deep down, I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that I didn't belong â that no amount of forced smiles or awkward small talk could bridge the gap between Jake's world and mine.
"Connor's probably into MILFs," Tyler said.
"Yeah, you got me," I replied casually as Jake restarted the game. "I'm into MILFs."
After Jake won the next round of Smash, very loudly announcing, "Jesus wept, as there were no worlds to conquer!" my phone started ringing. It was a number I didn't recognize, but since it had our area code, I got up off of the couch and walked into the other room in the basement where it was quieter. "Hello?"
"Connor? It's Josh."
"Oh." My mind started racing. Why would he be calling me? "Um. Yeah, are you okay? I-I thought you were coming to Jake's."
I heard stifled sobs on the other end. "I need help."
"What's wrong?" I started panicking. What the fuck was going on? "Where are you?"
"I'm, uh..." I heard him sniffling. "I'm at the police station."
"What?" I couldn't hide the shock from my voice. "What happened? A-are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Or, I don't know. I really hate to ask this, but I need someone to pick me up." His voice sounded strained.
"I'll come get you," I said quickly. "I can come right now."
"I, um...do you have cash on you? I swear I'll pay you back, but it's...I need to be bailed out. It's $500. Otherwise I need to...I don't know, call my parents. I guess they'll have to find out soon enough anyway, but..." From the way Josh's words were choppy and garbled, I knew that he was drunk.
"I'll stop at the ATM," I told him. "I'll come bail you out."
"Seriously, thank you, Connor." Josh's voice sounded relieved. "Thank you."
After I hung up, I went back into the other room. "Uh, I have to go," I said. "Family thing." It was strange how easy lies rolled off of my tongue.
"They good?" Jake asked, looking over the back of the couch at me.
"Yeah, yeah," I said, swallowing. "My parents are just...being annoying. Um, I'll see you guys Monday."
A couple of the guys said bye, Isaac smiled and threw his middle finger up at me, and Ben gave me a peace sign as they returned to the game.
When I got to the top of the stairs, I saw Jake's brother, Kaden, standing near the basement door.
"Are you leaving?" he asked me.
"Um, yeah," I said slowly.
"Do you think they'll let me play now?" His big, innocent eyes looked up at me. "They need an even number for teams. I'm really good at Smash."
"Yeah, buddy," I told him. "Tell your brother I said to take my place."
Kaden raced down the stairs as I walked out to my car to drive to the police station.
If Josh was drunk and had been arrested, I assumed he was driving drunk. I felt bad for Josh, but at the same time I was pissed off. Doing something like that was just beyond stupid, and he probably called me because he knew he had me wrapped around his finger.
I considered just driving home, leaving Josh to either spend the weekend in jail or have to call his parents. I mean, he should have called his family; I wasn't equipped to deal with something like that, and it wasn't really fair for him to put that on me.
However, I turned away from the road that would've taken me home and instead drove towards the nearest ATM. I'd saved up a decent amount of money from working at the coffee shop, and I trusted Josh enough to pay me back.
Finally, I arrived at the police station. My footsteps seemed to echo way too loudly on the linoleum floor as I nervously approached a glass window. My heart pounded as an officer appeared in the window, sliding it open. He looked to be in his twenties.
"Uh, I'm here to pay Josh Brooks's bail," I said in a meek voice. "He was arrested a little while ago. I have cash."
The officer nodded and grabbed a stack of papers, passing them to me. "Fill these out. Then you can pay his bail. I'll also need to see a form of identification."
I handed the officer my driver's license. He looked at it for a moment and then shook his head. "Sorry, kid, you can't pay his bail."
"What? Why not?" I asked.
"You're only 17. You need to be 18 to pay bail," the officer explained.
I felt a wave of frustration and panic. "But I have the money."
"Rules are rules. You need someone who's 18 or older."
I sighed and pulled out my phone. "Okay, I'll get someone."
"Better make it quick," the officer said before sliding the window shut.
I stepped back, thinking quickly. I knew there was only one person I could call. I dialed Liv's number, hoping she would answer.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Hey, Liv. Um, listen...I need a huge favor."
"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice concerned.
"I'm at the police station. Josh got arrested and needs to be bailed out, but I can't do it because I'm not 18. Can you...come down here and help?"
There was a brief pause. "Okay. I'll be there soon."
"Thank you. Seriously, thank you."
I hung up, feeling a small sense of relief. I waited outside, pacing nervously until Liv's car pulled up. She got out and rushed over to me.
"Connor, what happened?"
"He was drunk driving," I explained. "He called me for help, but I'm not old enough to pay his bail."
"Did he...call you?" Her face was etched with worry.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. He didn't want to call his parents. I have the money. He said he'd pay me back."
"Okay, well, let's get this over with," Liv said, taking charge. We walked back into the station together.
The officer glanced at Liv, then nodded. "You're 18?"
"Yes," she said firmly, handing over her ID. The officer checked it and nodded, passing her the paperwork.
As Liv filled out the forms, I stood by, feeling both grateful and anxious. Once everything was done and she paid the bail, the officer said, "Wait here" and disappeared momentarily.
"Do you want me to wait with you?" Liv asked. I could tell from the look in her eyes that she wanted to ask a million questions, but she refrained.
"No, it's okay," I told her. "You can go home. Thank you again for coming here. I owe you."
Liv smiled at me and squeezed my arm. "It's fine, Connor. I just..." She hesitated before finishing her sentence. "I hope you know what you're doing."
After Liv left, the officer came out of a set of doors and motioned for me to follow him. I got up and followed him through the doors and down a hallway.
"You know," the officer said while we walked, "your friend's real lucky. He blew a .09. Any higher he'd probably be looking at doing time. He could have killed someone."
"Yeah," I said tensely. "He's lucky, I guess."
"Tell your friend his parents need to get him a good lawyer. He can probably get away with paying a fine and doing community service. His license will be suspended as well."
The officer led me down another narrow hallway lined with closed doors until we reached a small office. Inside sat Josh, looking utterly defeated with bloodshot eyes and a pale complexion.
"You're free to go, kid," the officer told Josh. "Get a lawyer. Do not miss your court date. Don't even think about drinking again."
Josh stood up. "Thanks," he said to the officer as he breezed past me towards the station's entrance.
I had to practically jog to keep up with him. After we were both outside, Josh suddenly stopped. Then, he doubled over and started sobbing, gasping for air.
I stood next to him, watching for a few seconds, taken aback. Finally, I gently grabbed his arm and helped him up. "Come on. Let's go."
He didn't protest as I walked him over to my car. He got into the passenger seat, still crying, while I walked around to the driver's side.
I waited a bit for him to calm down, watching him warily. After a couple of minutes, he stopped crying, but he still looked miserable. "Thank you," he said, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat, looking down at his lap. "I'm sorry."
"Look at me," I said.
Josh lifted his head, his gaze meeting mine. He had a sad, guilty look on his face.
Without thinking, I punched him as hard as I could in his arm.
He winced, grabbing his arm and looking at me in shock. "Jesus. I'm sorry, okay?"
I tried to ignore the pain in my fist from hitting his unsurprisingly toned bicep. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I practically shouted at him, and then suddenly everything I'd been holding in started pouring out in a rush of red hot rage. "I just paid $500 to bail you out because you were drunk driving? Are you stupid? Were you trying to kill someone? Or yourself? You could get expelled! You could go to jail, you fucking idiot!"
"I'm sorry!" he shouted back at me, his eyes once again filling with tears. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I think...I guess I'm just broken. I don't know. I know I shouldn't have called you. I know it shouldn't have been you, but...I-I knew you'd come."
"So, what?" I asked, my voice still filled with anger. "You called me because I'm just some loser who'll do whatever you ask? Is that it?"
"No," Josh said, shaking his head as more tears slipped down his cheeks. "You just...you see things. You see...me, and you care. My other friends don't know what to do with...this," he gestured to himself, "so they just ignore it. Pretend they don't see it. That's why I knew you'd come. You care. Okay?"
I let out a sigh. "You are one of the most confusing, frustrating people I've ever met."
"I'm not trying to be. I'm just trying to...keep myself from drowning." Josh's brown eyes looked into mine; he had a look of desperation on face as we stared at each other silently.
My hand rested on the center console between our seats. Without breaking eye contact, Josh moved his hand onto the compartment so that our fingertips touched. He leaned forward, just slightly, so that our faces were mere inches apart.
He studied my face for a moment, his eyes searching mine, probably looking for a sign from me telling him to stop. When he didn't find one, he softly pressed his lips against mine.