Counting

LAKE

My mother used to tell us the story of how she and our father met.

I still remember imagining the blank night sky. I could always feel the splashes of water as she did when our father came to her through the vast stream that separated the pack territories.

That was my mother’s escape from her family and the abuse she had endured for her entire life. That’s how Landon and I came to be.

I had always dreamed of having a meeting with my mate as they did. The bond and unreasonable love for each other. Just the fact of having someone made specifically for me was like a dream.

Now? I don’t long for one. I can’t imagine life with one. My life, since I turned eighteen, has been a painful hell because of a mate.

I’ve stayed in bed since my parents found me in the forest.

I’d intended to leave, but I was still so weak from the curse that I didn’t make it very far.

Everyone assured me that everything would be okay, that they’d be there for me no matter what.

So I decided to stay.

But that didn’t mean that I felt any better.

My appetite has completely vanished. I haven’t showered or brushed my teeth since the first night of my hospital stay.

My hair is in an oily messy bun on top of my head. I can feel the excess oil weighing down my face. My comforter is wrapped around my body because I can’t stand being seen by anyone.

Even my own family.

Most of my time is spent staring out of my window, counting the cars as they pass on the street. If I’m not doing that, I’m sleeping. Dreaming of Lucas or Jake helplessly.

It became apparent fairly quickly that I haven’t accepted my past rejection.

Once the curse had vanished, all the feelings I thought were done with came back to haunt me. New bruises have formed on my stomach as well as my arms.

I’ve gotten up to change my clothes once. That was two days ago. I know wearing a tank top and shorts isn’t the best decision given my position, but I couldn’t care less anymore.

If I die, maybe I’ll finally find peace.

***

I bury my face into my pillow to swallow the screams. My hands dig into my stomach harshly. I suppose those two are trying for a pup. It’s been nonstop for days.

“Lake?” My mother knocks. “I’ve brought you lunch. It’s your favorite…”

My family has been taking turns bringing me meals and leaving them on my side table. I believe it to be a waste, as I haven’t eaten more than an apple or half a slice of bread a day.

“I’m coming in…” My mother opens the door and enters the room. My meal crashes onto the floor. I can feel her shock as she wails.

My pain and stomach surge with heat and stinging. I can feel the blood break through my skin and soak the sheets beneath me.

I scream out loud, not being able to bear the pain any more.

My father and brother rush into the room to restrain my extended claws from doing any more damage. Hot tears sear my cheeks.

“Make it stop…,” I cry. “Please… Make it stop…”

Riley dresses my wounds while my mother is in shambles downstairs. I only lie on my bed, counting the cars again. My eyes are puffy, and my head is pounding from the pressure.

“Lake…” Riley pours hydrogen peroxide on my left rib cage. I wince as the bubbles run down my side. “You know you can talk to me. Right?”

I almost laugh at her but choose to say nothing. Talk to her about what? The pain of knowing your mate is with another female? Or maybe that I was lied to and used for two months?

Riley sighs and gathers the first aid kit after putting a large bandage over my rib cage and taping gauze to the rest of my wounds. I hear the click of the door when it closes.

My thoughts are blank. My heart is heavy, and my chest is on fire. Every breath hurts.

I’m covered in my own dried blood. The sheets smell too. Nothing bothers me anymore. Not even the loneliness.

As silent tears fall sideways down my face, I count the cars going by.

Suddenly, a feeling of warmth begins to spread through me. The warmth numbs the pain, and I almost sob with relief.

“Lake…,” a voice whispers. “My child, you have been through so much pain.”

I turn toward the source of the voice, and my heart fills with hope.

“Moon Goddess,” I breathe.