Chapter 99

Nikami (?) POV

“What happened?” The knight quickly went over to the Villainess, seeing how she was shaking and about to burst into tears. I didn’t pay further into their conversation, it’s meaningless to observe people I do not care about.

“Ara ara… I don’t think that’s going to happen.” Shoubu chuckled.

I stared at the witch while that mage shook at my gaze and hid behind her. I sighed, mentally smirking while lifting my chin up and glaring at her.

“And what are you going to do about it?” She already gave up, it's useless now. Cursed? Me? I’m a curse? What idiots. I am a person, I belong in her place, I am the real user of this body.

“Kiyu-sama, what can you see?” The princess ignored my words and glanced over at the mage behind her, she gulped, trying to find the words and finally started to open her mouth.

“I-It’s getting worse… The shadows are now around her neck too… An-and it’s still spreading, moving.” She answered, gripping Shoubu’s sleeves for comfort, gulping at me.

“Hmmm… So you really aren’t lying, Shiromoru-san gave up… But why? She seemed wonderful earlier, even helping with Yasachu.” Shoubu tapped her chin, humming to get an idea. I rolled my eyes, ignoring them and walking over to the door but was blocked by that Witch’s arm.

“Could you tell me why?” The princess chuckled, leaning forward with that sickly calm smile on her punchable expression.

“Why don’t you ask that villainess over there?” I replied, turning my gaze over at Shukona which was now fully crying. The knight comforted her, patting her back and the taller female suddenly wrapped her in a warm embrace.

“Hmmm, she’s busy dealing with her own curse, I think you should know the answer.” She further pushed me into the wall, gritting my teeth while I glanced to my side. Does she always do this?

“Prince Raijin. That is all. Now let me through.” I looked back into her general direction and stared into the dark ocean depths that were her eyes, lifting my hand to the side and laying it on the doorknob.

“Th-they fought and… I-I don’t know, I tried comforting her but she started to act desperate and then just gave up when I didn’t let her do something so terrible…” Shukona sobbed out for us to hear, Shoubu’s smile perking up when she said that. The witch finally backed away with a nod, and I twisted my hand on the handle and before I pushed to open, someone caught the end of my uniform.

I paused, turned my head behind me and saw the most unexpected person. She straightened her back with light hitting her glasses to give a gleam, large beads of sweat dropped down her cheek and gulped.

For a couple seconds I was stunned, wondering where she got her basically non existent confidence.

I just turned my head back forward and pretended like she wasn’t holding on to me, pushing forward to fully push the door open. But as much as I moved my legs, she held me back, now using both of her hands. I tried to ignore it once again, but my shoes kept slipping on the floor when I wanted out of her grasp, after a couple more tries, we were both panting.

“GET OFF.”

“N-no! I still have to talk to you!”

“About what? And do you really think you can move me? Go back to that witch’s back where you belong.” I glared over at her, leaning on the door frame, turning my torso towards her.

“Th-thats…” She loosened her grip, frowning whilst I rolled my eyes. Finally, she gave up, now I can finally go back to Yasachu and-

“She’s not talking to you.”

“What?”

“As I said, she’s not talking to you.” Shoubu took one of the mage’s hands, glancing down at her with a softer smile. She turned to me, “She’s talking to the real Shiromoru-san.” She clarified.

“But I am the real Nikami Shiromoru, that last one was just fake.” I spat, knowing that everything I said was the truth.

“Sh-she can see this right…? Nikami-sama, you’re hearing this aren’t you?” Kikyou mumbled, adjusting her glasses. Despite the glass between her straight gaze, her eyes were droopy, longing for someone on the back of my head. My hand shook, balling it up and clenched my fists. No, stop it, I’m the real one here, you all are just brainwashed by that alien, she doesn’t belong here.

Senpai…?

Go away.

Her eyes lit up, widening while she made a gleeful smile. She probably saw something with her magic eyes, damn it, am I disappearing? No, I’m not going to be. This is MY body, MY life, I don’t want anyone to get in my way of it.

“Pl-please listen to me!” She cried out, grabbing my hand and placing it near her face. I flitched, glaring down at her while I was frozen. “Nikami-sama, I-I… I don’t know why you gave up but… I have been in this situation, where you know everything is your fault and that you don’t know what to do. Knowing that ru-runnning away is the best thing to do, but the fact that you saw through me, I-I saw that you were heading in my direction too. You’re a smart girl, and you pointed out how similar we were. So… I want you to know that… It’s never too late to be better. Don’t be like me, please, you deserve so much better than that.” She begged me. No, she begged HER.

Furious, I took her wrist and squeezed it, prompting her to let go and I fled inside the room. I didn’t want time to look at her expression, because I know that she’ll come out sooner if this happens again.

Damn it, I never thought there would be so many people wanting her to be back. She didn’t have that in her memories, I almost forgot that you actually talked to people due to how much you talk in your head.

Have you ever acknowledged it? That people treated you like a friend, and they are doing everything in their power to help you? That even if you act like me, you’ll still have people wanting you. You never saw the people by your side, you never understood how much trouble they will go through just to take you back.

And then you call yourself a person who doesn’t like conversations, does that make you feel big inside?

Tch, you really are as dense as your predecessor, Alien.

“Shi-shiromoru! You’re back… What happened?” The sweet cheer of my beloved snapped me out of my trance, the weight on my back flew away like she turned them into angels and made them grow wings.

I stared at her, softly smiling, walking forward while clearing my throat.

“Hello, sorry I took so long.”

That doesn’t matter, you’re never coming back.

Nikami POV

“Senpai… That’s…” I blinked. Wait, I blinked? I glanced down at my body, seeing I could control it again. But before I was able to sense relief, the floor wasn’t there. It was just an endless nothing, that nothing felt familiar.

“Hello! Uh… Ahaha, sorry, I don’t know how to greet you… I mean, you two are in a pretty awkward position now and especially you’re not doing so well mentally…” As soon as I heard that voice, I now knew where I was. I turned to face her, but I was blocked by a view of a green book having a large x on it while it had a pen stabbed in the middle. The emerald carving reflected a screen behind me, in which I glanced back to.

I saw Yasachu on a holographic screen, smiling at me while my own hand rubbed her cheek in an affectionate manner.

“What…?”

“Welcome to where we’ve been stuck for years, Erebus! But you’re an actual resident now… The throne and all…” Hameru chuckled, the sound of wind and incoming yellow light flew towards me, landing on the side of my throne with a large thump.

“Stuck for years…? Resident…?” I asked her, looking down at the piece I was sitting on. A translucent emerald throne with gold platings on the arms while having miniature crowns at the end of it. I sat there in confusion, wondering how I got back from here.

“You see, when I, err, you, got blessed at ten years old I woke up here. Next to the lonely Shiromoru. Did you know the chair she had was actually a perfectly cut throne? It was ice, smooth and proper. With her anger towards you growing, and irritation at the fact that she can’t move her own body grew, it became the wild unstable ice spikes now.” She started to ramble, chuckling to herself and stood up in front of me. “Now that I look at you upclose, seriously, you’re so much taller than me! Must be the short japanese genes, ahh geez.”

“You’ve been here for… Years?” I widened my eyes, gasping while she nodded with a lopsided smile. No, but this is just a curse. None of this is real, most of this isn’t real, this shouldn’t be rea-

“Yup! But that other girl got it worse, she probably grew up here without knowing anything, just seeing your visions and seeing that you were her. The first time I saw her, she wasn’t hostile at all, treating me like an exotic animal and even poking me gently with an ice stick. She was so cute.” She explained, reaching her hand out to me. Instinctively I took it, she pulled me and wrapped me in a hug.

“You shouldn’t be here. You can’t be here. You don’t belong here.” She mumbled in my chest, embracing me closer, “I’m not saying that out of malice, but out of concern. You should be the one controlling the body, not her. She’s unstable, protective, and curious. I know for one she might cut herself just to feel that she’s bleeding, that she’s actually in a body now. That girl is still a child, as much as she acts mature, her mind is still as a child. I know from my own memories that Nikami is not as Raijin describes her. This is not Nikami in the game, she’s someone separate, someone that grew up here without anyone to talk to for ten years.” She explained to me, but why would she? That is what I don’t understand.

“Do you want me to go back to controlling the body? I just… I don’t want to anymore, I just can’t. Everything is my fault, Rai is mad at me, I should just leave it to her, I don’t even exist. I am no one but nothingness itself, I am the eye of the abyss, nothing but naught, I am just… No one.” I replied, dismissing her claims and my arms stayed on my side. I didn’t want to hug her back, I had no energy to. I gave up my body, I just don’t want to deal with anything anymore. Events happened too fast, I couldn’t keep up, I had no reason to keep up other than because it was my fault I needed to fix it. It wasn’t for the better good, it wasn’t for anything, it was because I felt responsible for it.

And look what I did? Made it worse. That’s why I shouldn’t be here.

“Then make yourself someone!”

“What?”

“Sure, I have my name, she has her name, you have one too! Nika, right? That nickname doesn’t belong to me, nor does it belong to her. Life is only what you make it, you can’t control the people around you, but you can control yourself.” She let me go, looking up and gave me a toothy grin, giggling.

“You say that like I want my body to be stolen.” I countered her positivity, rolling my eyes and making her smile low.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, this isn’t your fault. You control yourself, not anyone else. Don’t think that Shiromoru is you, don’t think that she’s just a character, as hostile and desperate as she can be, that’s what makes her human. She’s a person, and so are you. The way that masked girl reacted wasn’t your fault either, you just became Shukona’s friend! There was no fault in doing that, it was them twisting that harmless dance into something as bad as this.” She fought back, leaving me to drop a sweat and gulp. Seeing me hesitate, her eyebrows arched, opening her mouth again.

“You tell Kikyou-san that she runs away and you face your problems, when right now you’re doing the same thing. What a hypocrite statement am I right? She could tell, and as she said, it is never too late to be better.” Her honey filled eyes fluttered, not afraid to tell things in a straightforward manner to me. I wish I could say something clever, but I really can’t. That was the rotten truth.

“So please, listen to me. Nika, listen to me.” She took both of my cheeks, rammed my forehead to her’s. The vibrations and impact made me close my eyes, yet, there was no pain. Attentive, her mouth opened slowly and spoke “Don’t you dare give up! The road is rough, it already is, that’s just how life is… But you're going to get through it. Don’t let your head take control of your life, this amount of emotions is overwhelming, it’s all new to you, so do as you always do and calm your head. I’ll always be here, I'm going to stay, and I’ll wait until you’re ready to better yourself.” She spoke to me in a low manner, yet it was more confident than I have ever been in my blunt filled life.

“Th-that’s just… You shouldn’t do this, I’ve insulted you many times over. I forgot that I was this kind… I don’t deserve to be told this. After everything I’ve done, after I made Raijin angry, I put everyone in danger… And in giving up like a coward.” I started to pour tears again, a thing that I have been doing so much this week. I stared at her eyes so true and sweet, despite not seeing her mouth I could tell she was smiling meekly.

I now understood why Haiki fell in love with this girl.The Raijin now was just imitating what she learned from you, being patient and understanding, smiling the whole time.

“You silly girl, I’m you. If I’m kind, you are too. If you’re a coward, I was too! A lot of my pieces may have been lost, but remember that I am still there. I had been here from the start, you just didn’t see it. You have kindness in yourself, so please don't beat yourself up over something that you won't even try to fix, because nothing will happen. If you feel like you're responsible, then be responsible. Do what you need to do.” She giggled, wiping off my tears with her small fingers and gestured over at the screen. I glanced over, seeing the weeping Shukona crying on Saboten’s shoulder, the knight staring straight at me and not Shiromoru that was controlling the body. Kikyou hiding behind the queen that was giving an intimidating smile to Shiromoru.

“Look, I didn’t do that! You did! These are your friends, they want you to come back, they're pushing aside someone that's in danger because of YOU! Not Shiromoru! You're their Nikami, you're the REAL one for them!" She explained to me, pulling me closer to her and continued to smile at the screen. Using her eyes to look at my dumbstruck expression, and smiled.

"So don't keep them waiting, Nika. They're your friends, they have faith on you to get back to them."