– Chapter 23

‘You just wait until your daddy sees you,’ I sob as I guide her towards my chest. ‘He’ll scoop you up and he will never let you go!’

She settles as she starts to feed and I continue to shake uncontrollably. Blood still seeps from between my legs and the fifty-two hours of labour I just endured has exhausted every part of me, but god, I would go through it all a hundred times over if it meant having this little girl safely in my arms. I pull a blanket over her brand new body to help keep her warm. Moments pass and she falls fast asleep. Her little mouth open and her eyes closed shut. And those adorable fingers, still wrinkly and amazingly pink, grip me tightly.

I thought I knew love when Gabriel held me in his arms, but this? This is beyond love. This is everything. This is all there is.

My daughter.

Callie Kendryk.

Alive and well, sleeping soundly on my chest.

∞∞∞

I emerge from the bath with a huge gasp, coughing up the water I swallowed and blinking my eyes clear. Shakily, I grip the edge of the tub and pull myself out, landing on the hard and cold floor of the cottage’s bathroom.

There’s a series of loud and panicked bangs on the door as someone attempts to open it up from the other side.

‘Lilly? You alright in there?’ Tobias calls, still trying the door. ‘What’s going on?’

‘I’m fine,’ I gasp back, struggling to catch my breath through the water still lodged in my windpipe. ‘I dozed off and slipped under the water. That’s all.’ I roll over, spitting out more water onto the floor and mutter a warning to the devil that just tried to claim me. ‘I will not let you retake control,’ I snarl. ‘Every time you even attempt to, I will see my daughter and you will fail.’

Her laugh echoes in my subconscious.

‘Can you unlock the door?’ Tobias asks. ‘I don’t have to come in or anything, but it’s much safer if you leave the door open.’

‘I said I’m fine!’

I hear him linger in the hallway as I pull on a towel and dry myself off. He even paces, causing the floorboards to creak over and over again. Still damp, I pull on one of the oversized shirts I found in a chest of drawers and head out to find him looking as anxious and startled as ever. He makes no effort to come close. He remains at a safe distance but watches me with concern.

‘I err… I fell asleep in the tub,’ I tell him. ‘Stupid thing to do.’

‘You were screaming,’ he admits. ‘When you came out of the water, you screamed his name.’

‘Whose?’

‘Ryan’s.’

I shudder at the mention of that piece of shit and struggle to meet Tobias’s gaze.

‘Funny,’ I scoff. ‘After everything that’s happened, it’s a dead man that scares me most. You would think I’d have nightmares about Theo or Grayson. Hendrix even, or you. Toby Smith, I mean. Not you-you.’ I look over my shoulder, to the slightly ajar door of Gabriel’s bedroom. ‘Or even him, gutting my dad like a fish.’ I turn back to Tobias and look him in the eye. ‘Or me, being a psychotic murder.’

‘You were never-’

‘I know what I was. Let’s not pretend that those months didn’t happen. The people I killed deserve better than that.’ I tut and shake my head. ‘Why, of all the horrors I have seen, that I have lived, that I have inflicted, why is it that haunts me most? It feels selfish, almost. Like… my suffering at his hands is worse than the suffering I’ve inflicted on others.’

Tobias clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck as he thinks. ‘Anything I could say to you would be a guess. And a guess or presumption on your feelings about would be nothing short of an insult to you. I am in no position to tell you why you feel the way you feel. No man is. No person. All I will say is that you are single-handedly, the strongest person I have ever known and you will survive this.’

I scoff at his attempt at a compliment but he shakes his head adamantly.

‘You are! Because your determination to do the right thing, even when things fall spectacularly apart, is utterly astounding.’

‘Do you know how many people I have killed?’

‘No. But I will tell you something. I was with you every day when you were Broken. When you attacked, when you killed, you never did it needlessly.’

Again, I scoff.

‘You didn’t. Those affected by the Hunter’s mark are victims of the evilest manipulation that has ever existed on this earth. They are not themselves when they are infected with its effect. And there is no reaching their humanity. There is only hate. Only a need for pain. An unquenchable thirst for death. They do not care who they murder. You saw it. Men and women slaughtered each other. Children-’

‘Don’t.’ I hold up my hand and shake my head.

‘My point is, even in your darkest moments, you cared. You killed many. Yes. But you only killed to save others. You spared and rescued far more lives than you ended. I assure you—there were moments of cruelty. I will agree. But do you recall what events sparked your wrath?’ He steps closer and speaks gentler. ‘The lynch mob that cornered those three girls in Erdington? What they were doing to those poor souls before you intervened?’

I do recall flashes from that day, and I recoil at the whole incident.

‘They were human, Lilly. Those girls. You not only stopped what was being done to them, but you healed them and sent them safely on their way.’

‘I flayed thirteen people alive in that alleyway,’ I whisper.

‘But you saved three. You saved many by ending that mob that night. The curse that plagues the humans, that makes them so full of hate and violence, it cannot be undone until we are gone. They are the ones killing and maiming and raping and burning others. It is not their fault, but do you think they would want to be left to kill so many?’ He gestures to me. ‘Did you? Even Broken, you still showed moments of mercy. More will survive because you are still on your feet and fighting to save them. Your dark deeds in this dark life are far outshone by all the good you hold in your heart.’

I watch as he lowers his head and stares at the floor.

‘I wish that I could say that all the lives I destroyed were lives that deserved to be decimated.’ He shakes his head. ‘But I can never claim that. You showed more humanity and more compassion Broken, than I ever did. And I will tell you now, that what you have endured in your short life has been far worse than anything I went through to create my Break in those Hunter-cells. I will always and forever be in awe of you, Lilly Hoop… I mean, Lilly Kendryk.’

He shows me a melancholy smile and steps back. ‘Gabriel is still out cold. His injuries are healed but I will watch him all night to make sure he is safe and secure. Collins is passed out on the sofa downstairs sleeping off a year-long drinking binge. Connor is doing what he does best. He’s researching. And I must now insist that you go and get some sleep.’

‘Bias, it’s not safe to sleep. What if-’

‘We are all protected by the cuffs,’ he tells me, shaking his leather adorned wrist at me and nodding to the one Gabriel placed on mine. ‘Connor has made another for Gabriel, so we are all hidden. No Hunters will sense us if they get close. Connor has fashioned a feeding tube for Gabriel. He’s got some tomato soup in his stomach.’ He grimaces a little. ‘It wasn’t pleasant but Gabriel will feel better for it when he wakes up. If there is any sign of trouble, I will wake you up. And when you are awake, we can figure out our next steps.’ He gives a small bow before going to pass me. I reach out and hold his arm, stopping him.

Our eyes meet. ‘When I performed the first spell at the first stone, and when I met Rebecca Hooper, she told me something.’

‘What?’ he asks.

‘She said that my greatest enemy would become my greatest ally. You say that when you were Broken, you showed no humanity or compassion. But you did, Tobias. You saved my life. You made me want to live. You stoked a fire in me that made me want to fight. You didn’t need to do that. You didn’t need to teach me how to sneak around that house to get food when I was starving. You brought me food regularly, but you wanted me to know how to look after myself. And you didn’t need to teach me how to master pain, how not to let it defeat me or force me to submit. But you did.’

‘I tortured you, Lilly.’ He shakes his head, disagreeing with my words.

‘Yeah,’ I agree. ‘But your actions made me so strong and so determined not to be beaten. I mean, think about it! Wouldn’t it have been easier for you just to let me be crushed? Let me depend on you for food and protection completely rather than teaching me how to fend for myself?’

He thinks for a moment but doesn’t say a word.

‘I think, deep down, you wanted to help me stand up to Harry. To Simmons.’ I poke him in the chest. ‘And even stand up to you. And I did. It may not have worked out as I would have wanted, but I tried. Which is more than I would have done if you hadn’t taught me how to be strong and stand up for myself.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ he whispers painfully. ‘For what I did in that barn. For everything-’

‘Let’s not do this now. We have all done things that we regret. And most of it was while we were Broken. It’s a complicated claim on accountability so let’s just… let’s just focus on the spell and surviving long enough to see it through. Yeah?’

‘Lilly?’ he asks as I pass him. ‘What happened to the baby?’

My feet slow.

‘Where have you been all this time? A year! We thought you were dead. We all saw…’ He lets out a long breath. ‘Did the baby-’

‘She’s perfect. And she’s safe. She couldn’t be safer. But I need to sleep. Tomorrow, okay? When Collins is awake and I have the strength to talk about it, I will tell you everything. I can barely keep my eyes open right now.’

‘S-sure,’ he replies. ‘Okay. No problem.’

I head to the bedroom at the end of the hallway and close the door shut behind me. There’s a small lamp switched on and a bed made up. I shut off the lamp and fall face-first into the pillow, finding no difficulty whatsoever in falling asleep.

∞∞∞

At midday, I wake up. Tiredly, I pull myself from my bed and sit, looking through the open window ahead. It’s raining again. The weather has been bleak since I returned. I enjoy listening to it fall. The sound of rain has always calmed me. I’m not sure why. I close my eyes and sit here. The breeze tickles my skin and creates goosebumps all over my arms. As ever, my heart is pounding inside my chest. I’m permanently in a state of alert despite how tired I feel. As much as I would love to lay back down in this musty bed, I know that I have far too much to do and way too much on the line just to sleep the day away. I drop my head and groan.

Let’s get on with it then!

I’m up and dressed and heading to the door before I give into the pull of hiding under the duvet. My arms hang by my side and my feet drag a little as I cross the room and open up the door. The hallway is empty. The smell of coffee lingers in the air and my stomach clenches in anticipation for some much-needed caffeine and food. I walk along the landing and stop at the top of the stairs.

Gabriel’s bedroom door is ajar. It’s dark inside. I wait but hear no movement at all so head towards it and slowly push open the door. It whines against the rust, so I stop and manoeuvre myself through the small opening.

He’s still out like a light. His eyes are closed and his chest rises and falls slowly. I take a few steps further inside. His wrists and ankles remain bound to the bed but he’s clean of blood and dressed in joggers and a plain grey t-shirt. Now he is free of that hideous coat, I see how thin he is. His skin looks almost see-through as it clings to his muscles. He twitches as he slumbers and mumbles incoherently while his eyelids flicker.

He’s having a nightmare.

Being careful not to wake him, I rest my palm on his cheek and syphon his power. When he feels my touch, his face nuzzles into my palm and he instantly calms.

‘Rest easy, Gabriel,’ I tell him, my eyes black as I control his mind. ‘Dream of nothing but the waves on the ocean and the branches that blow in a delicate breeze. Dream of the sand between your toes and the warmth of springtime sunshine. Forget your pain.’ He lets out a long and tired breath as he sinks deep into his bedding. His fingers no longer twitch. His eyes no longer flicker and I feel his aura settle. I step back and leave him to rest, knowing that when he wakes, he will have to face the hell of what he has been through.

As well as the torment of what he has done.

Much like me. Much like all of us.

The window in Gabriel’s room is slightly ajar and it lets in the sound of raised voices mid-argument. Quietly, I tiptoe across the room and pull back the curtain to look down below. The sky is dismally grey and the wind is blowing hard. This room is at the front of the house and outside is the driveway where the car is parked. By the car, Connor and Tobias are arguing. Connor is attempting to keep the rain off himself by holding a hood over his head but the wind isn’t making it easy. Tobias is soaked through and doesn’t care one bit. His white t-shirt clings to him and his dark hair is plastered to his face. His arms are waving all over the place as he hisses words furiously at Connor.

‘What now…’ I whisper, spinning on my heel and heading out.

Downstairs, at the far end of the hall, I hear the heavy snoring of Collins as he sleeps off his hangover. I swear, I can smell the booze on him from here. I don’t care how long it takes, I need him as clear-headed as possible. No way will I say a word to him if he’s drunk. He’ll only forget what I’ve said.

At the front door, I look around to see if there are any shoes I can put on my feet. Nope. Nothing. Rolling my eyes, I throw open the door and head out into the rain.

‘Hey!’ I bark at them, pointing up to the window above. ‘Gabriel’s sleeping up there. Can you two quit yelling?’

They both turn and face me, looking very awkward. As I continue to come closer, they back up.

‘I’m not going to hurt you,’ I snap, stopping my descent on them. I suppose they do have the right to be concerned. I’m not exactly entitled to demand their trust. ‘Sorry,’ I mutter. ‘I just don’t think we should be arguing right now. You know we have a huge day tomorrow. Massive! We all need rest and we all need to be getting along. We’ve been torn apart enough, so whatever it is you two are arguing about, can you not?’

They just stand there, their eyes on stalks. When I take another step towards them, they both retreat further until their backs are against the car. And then I notice how they both have their arms out to their sides, as if protecting something behind them, but all I see is the car. I look past them.

‘What’s going on?’ I ask, settling my eyes on Tobias. ‘What are you two hiding?’

‘Nothing, Lilly,’ he tells me, attempting a breezy smile. ‘Y-you should head back inside. It’s cold and wet out here. You’ll catch a cold or something.’

I glare at them and know that they’re definitely hiding something.

‘Move.’

‘It’s nothing, Lilly. Honestly-’

‘Tobias. Move.’

He throws an angry look at Connor before sidestepping.

‘Connor?’ I urge, confused when all I see is the car. No one is inside the back or front. ‘You going to tell me-’ But then something does catch my eye. There’s blood pooling on the ground as it slowly drips from the car’s boot.

‘Connor? Who’s in the boot?’

‘I… I just wanted to help…’ he stammers, tapping his foot anxiously as he looks between Tobias and I. ‘I thought-’

‘I get the thought!’ Tobias hisses at him. ‘But you should have mentioned what you’d done sooner!’

‘I forgot. What with Gabriel and everything, it just slipped my mind!’ he insists.

‘Forgot?! You forgot?!’ Tobias turns to face him and I see how angry he is, but also how afraid. ‘She doesn’t need the extra pain right now, Connor.’ He turns to me. ‘Honestly. Lilly. Please go inside and I’ll come in and explain-’

But I’m already charging forwards. My eyes are squarely on the boot.

‘Is it Theo?’ I demand, filling with fury. ‘Or Grayson?’

‘Lilly! Stop!’ Tobias grabs my hand, which I yank free.

‘It’s not Theo-’ Connor tries, but I push him aside and take hold of the latch on the car.

‘WAIT!’ they both yell. But too late.

The boot opens and I’m hit in the face by a most repulsive smell. One that has me gagging as I cover my mouth and nose with my arm. Inside, there’s a large tarp laid out. I know that there’s a dead body beneath this tarp. They don’t want me to see it. They don’t want me to know who lies within. I reach out and slowly pull it back, revealing the ghostly white face… of my dad.

I let out a strangled and stifled scream as I stagger back. I can’t look away. I knew he was dead. I saw him before but I just… I wasn’t expecting to see him again. I force myself forwards, each step feeling almost impossible. When my legs hit the boot, I stop. Trembling, I brush his mattered hair from his face. It’s encrusted with dried blood and his skin is cold to the touch.

‘I-I didn’t want to leave him there,’ Connor says quietly from behind me. ‘He deserves better than that. Than to just be left behind. I thought… well… we need to bury him properly. Lay him to rest-’

‘Thank you,’ I whisper, lowering myself so I can sit beside my dad. I keep stroking his face, hating how cold it is now. How devoid of life he is. I look up at Connor. ‘Thank you for going back for him.’

‘I didn’t mean for you to see-’

‘Could… could you both give me a minute?’ I ask, looking between them and trying my damndest to look like I’m okay and coping with this. But they’re not buying it and remain close. ‘Please. Both of you. Just go. I… I need to be alone. I really-’

‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea-’

‘Well it’s not up to you!’ I bite back. ‘You lost any right to tell me what to do the minute you destroyed my fucking life and stole me from Gabriel. When you did what you did to me in that fucking barn. When you-’ I seal my lips shut, knowing how unfair I’m being to him. Knowing that Toby and Tobias are two different creatures. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-’

‘You did,’ he replies, stepping back and taking Connor with him. ‘And you have every right to mean it. We will leave you be. If you need us, we’ll be around the back.’ He bends down and picks up a shovel.

‘Leave the shovel.’

‘We thought we would bury him-’

‘I SAID LEAVE IT!’ I look at them both pleadingly, desperately holding back my tears. ‘I need you to leave us alone for a minute, okay? I’m begging you. Just leave it.’

Sadly, they nod and return to the house.

As they leave, I lean down and kiss my father on the cheek, one last time, before burying my face in his cold and stiff neck and breaking down in tears.

This is all your fault, you know. I would never have let that happen. Poor Daddy. I wonder, who else will end up like this because of you?

Her dark laugh rattles in my ears. And her words ring true. Painfully true.

∞∞∞

I choose to bury him out back, beside the permanent Christmas tree. I don’t know how my dad would have felt about that. I have no idea if he enjoyed Christmas or not and I fail to recall one which we spent together when I was a small child. There’s also the fact that the man who planted this tree is also the man that killed him. With each strike I make, plunging the shovel into the wet soil, I vent my anger. Of which I have a lot. The rain continues to fall, making each load of dirt I shovel heavier and heavier. I grunt as I work. Or cry. Or yell. I’m not really sure. I have no idea how long I’ve been out here, but night is falling, so I know it’s been several hours. Tobias stands at the lounge window. He hasn’t stopped watching me. The only time I’m interrupted is when Connor comes to hand me some water. He doesn’t ask if I need help because he knows I don’t want it. I’m working some shit out. Not sure what exactly but I’m distracted from everything, so that’s something I guess.

He returns to the house and I continue.

Until my father’s grave is complete.

I claw my way out, covered in mud and sweat and soaked from the rain which has battered me relentlessly. As I stand, I stagger and sway, clutching my side in response to a painful stitch. I glance down at the wrapped-up tarp and struggle to find the strength or the will to go to move it.

To move him.

I look at the hole in the ground and I freeze. I just… I can’t move! I can’t speak! I can barely breathe.

A hand slides into mine. I grip it tight.

‘I can’t do it,’ I say. ‘I can’t put him down there all alone. I can’t bury him. I can’t…’ I just shake my head. ‘I can’t.’

‘You can. But you don’t need to do it alone,’ Collins replies.

‘And who should help me? Tobias? He hated him. Or Connor? He didn’t even know the guy. And Gabriel? Should I go wake him up? Ask him to help me bury the man he killed?’

‘I’m gonna be honest, Lilly. Everything’s a bit of a blur. I’m not entirely sure what’s happened. Tobias told me most of it, but my memories are a little… fuzzy.’

‘Well drinking England’s whiskey surplus will do that to you.’

‘True. But I do know that you shouldn’t do this alone. And as far as I’m aware, your dad didn’t mind me too much. I don’t think he would mind if I helped.’

‘He’s only dead because of me.’

‘He died to save you. There is no other way that Jensen would have been happy going if it wasn’t to keep you safe.’

‘And Gabriel? What about him?’ I look up at Collins. His eyes are still bloodshot and he looks a little green from his quick and sudden detox. ‘What happened to Gabriel is my fault too. Every second of their suffering, of all your suffering, it all lays squarely at my feet. Did Tobias tell you what Theo did to Gabriel?’

‘Tobias told me what happened to Gabriel, yeah.’ He looks up at the window above where Gabriel sleeps. ‘I can’t even begin…’ He groans in repulsion and I hear his stomach churn. ‘What Theo has done to him, to everyone, it’s beyond comprehension. Beyond understanding. And the consequences are difficult to deal with, that’s for sure. But what Gabriel has done is not his doing and I’m sure that you know that, but it still doesn’t change the fact that your dad is dead.’

‘So how should I be feeling?’

‘I am not going to tell you what you should or shouldn’t be feeling, but what I do know, what I remember from this past year, before you disappeared and Gabriel got captured, is watching how Gabriel refused to give up on you. He fought tooth and nail to get you back when you were Broken. He never gave up, Lilly. Even in his darkest moments, when he heard that you had aborted the baby-’

‘I never would have let her hurt the baby.’

‘He loves you. Gabriel loves you more than anything and he would never intentionally do anything to hurt you or risk losing you again. Please, don’t give up on him. Not after everything you have both been through. Don’t let the world tear you apart when it’s succeeded in tearing so much apart already.’ His hands settle on my cheeks as he leans in to plant a kiss on my forehead. ‘We’re all we have left. We can’t give up on each other now.’

I turn to the bundled-up tarp that lays next to the open grave. Connor and Tobias join us from the house armed with shovels and stand beside my dad. Waiting.

‘We do this as a family,’ Collins says, looking into my eyes and catching a tear as it falls. ‘Because that’s what we are. One really fucked up family. And Jensen was just as much a member of this family as the rest of us. Let us finish this now. Let us help. We want to.’

I nod and step back, letting the boys take over. I watch Connor and Tobias lift my dad with utmost care and respect as Collins leaps down into the hole, ready to take him. They place him down gently and Collins returns to my side.

We all stand in silence in the dwindling daylight. The rain never eases. The clouds fail to clear.

‘Would you like to say a few words?’ Collins asks.

‘Just…’ I sigh shakily and grab hold of his hand. ‘Just that, I love you, Dad. I love you so much and I will miss you every single day. And thank you. Thank you for saving me. For helping me. For protecting me. I want you to know that I hold no anger towards you for anything in our past. None whatsoever. Just sadness at our lost years and regret that we got such a short and such a cruel time together. I will never forget you and I will never shy away from talking about you. And I want you to know too, that I will not let them win. I don’t care what I need to do or what the cost is. Theo will not win. And he will not get away with what he has done. He will pay. He will pay big.’

The others all watch me in silence with slightly raised brows.

‘What?’

‘You sure you want the last words you say to your dad to be of revenge?’ Collins asks.

‘Did you ever meet my dad?’ I ask. ‘I think he would be disappointed if I didn’t make a vow of revenge.’

They all nod in agreement, small and melancholy smiles tugging at their lips.

I step back and watch as they each pick up a shovel and fill in the hole.

They bury my dad.

When they pat down the earth, the fairy lights on the tree turn on. We all step back and watch them dance rhythmically back and forth. We listen to the crashing waves below and the rain lashing the house.

We all stand there, beside my father’s final resting place, in complete silence. A moment of respect. Of thought. Of remembrance.

When I can’t take the silence any longer, I look at Collins, who wears his grief painfully. But the grief which has sunken his cheeks and dulled his once twinkling eyes is not for my father.

But for Amara.

Sweet Amara and their unborn baby.

Her death which destroyed so many of our hearts.

‘Collins?’ I ask, turning to face him. He looks down at me, attempting a tired smile. ‘I need to tell you something.’

‘What?’

As I try to think about how to formulate the words, I have another idea. I glance once more to the bedroom window above our heads.

‘Actually. Let me show you.’

∞∞∞

‘I just can’t believe he’s alive,’ Collins whispers, standing uncomfortably beside Gabriel’s bed, watching him sleep. ‘I can’t believe he was the one under that hood the whole time.’

‘It wasn’t really him,’ I remind him, as well as myself, as I close the bedroom door behind me. Connor and Tobias are downstairs, packing. Preparing for our final journey to the final stone, which we shall begin at dawn. ‘Well. It was. He saw what he was doing. His Break didn’t lock him away in a labyrinth of horrors. His Break just took away his free will and gave it to a madman.’ I sit at his bedside and watch him breathe in and out, slow and steady, at peace for the first time in well over a year. ‘He was a puppet and I hate that those strings are still attached.’

‘They are?’ Collins asks. ‘Are you certain?’

I nod.

‘If he hears Theo’s voice again, he will have no choice but to obey him. All I’ve done is remove the commands he was held under. He won’t try to take me back to Theo when he awakens. He won’t do anything he doesn’t want to unless he hears Theo’s voice again. Keeping him hidden and away from that man is imperative.’ I look up at Collins, who still shuffles uneasily on the other side of the bed. ‘He tried to resist, but I know it is impossible to refuse Theo’s commands. He can try, and he did for a while. But ultimately, Theo has him now.’

‘Jesus…’ he whispers, moving from foot to foot as he chews the nail on his thumb and shakes his head. ‘Fucking hell. I mean, Theo actually… he actually… his own son!’

Collins can’t say it, because I guess then that would make it too real. Torture is one thing, yes. But a violation like that, it never leaves you. It never heals. To be touched by unwanted hands. To be taken by force.

It’s disgusting and ugly.

‘He’s your brother,’ I tell Collins.

‘I know that. He’ll always be my brother, no matter what he’s done or what has happened to him. I know the real Gabriel and I know he would never have hurt-’

‘No. Collins, Gabriel is your brother. Your biological brother.’

Collins just stares at me before slowly sitting himself on the other side of the bed.

‘What?’

‘Theo isn’t Gabriel’s father. Gabriel’s mum and your dad were together in secret before the war even started. When Theo left to be with my ancestor, his wife – Gabriel’s mum – and your dad, they got close.’

‘You are shitting me.’

‘Nope.’ I watch him and wonder what he will say, what he will do.

‘Dad… you old dog…’ he mutters, reaching out and taking Gabriel’s hand in his. ‘My mum left soon after I was born. She decided that being a mother just wasn’t something she wanted,’ Collins says. ‘Dad was always so lonely, and when he refused to perform the immortality spell with Theo and the others, I always wondered why. He said he was too old. Maybe it was because he had chosen to be with her instead.’ He nods. ‘Yeah. I bet that was it. I bet that he decided to live what days he had left with her. I bet he was happy, too. I wish I’d have known. Actually-’ He looks over to me. ‘It doesn’t matter that no one ever said it aloud until now. Gabriel’s always been my brother. I’m glad that arsehole isn’t his dad.’ He wipes a tear dry with his shoulder and coughs clear the lump in his throat. ‘Is that what you wanted me to know?’

‘No.’ I reach out my hand to him, and with my other, I take Gabriel’s wrist. ‘I need to show you something.’ I flex my fingers, gesturing for him to take my hand. He looks nervously at it. ‘I need to show you the past year. The year I went missing. I want to show you my memories.’

‘Do you have to?’ he asks hesitantly.

‘Trust me, Collins. You’re going to want to see what I have to show you.’