Chapter 34: Hearing the Truth

JAMIE

We were sitting at the marble dining table, midway through our meal.

Mason was at the head of the table, Eoin and I across from one another.

So far, the chat between them was good; it made me think Mason didn’t mind my inviting Eoin to stay.

Eoin had looked a bit upset as he looked through that box of old photos, but seeing Mason had cheered him up.

Mason was so guarded with the people in his life—with pretty much everyone, actually.

I noticed how strained a relationship he had with Harry, of course. I knew they only spent time together in the office.

And that business seemed to be all Mason cared about.

“Business wasn’t doing great, so Dad had to sell up. Shame, really, since the place was meant to be my future.”

Eoin brought a beer bottle to his lips and gulped.

“I didn’t know.” Mason sat back in his chair, guilt on his face. “If you ever want a job in the city, you know where I am.”

“I know!” Eoin laughed. “You’ve done well for yourself, Mason. Money galore and your own home.”

He looked across the table at me.

“You two must be happy.”

That about sums it up, doesn’t it?

Except for the “you two” thing.

I chuckled lightly. “You’re sweet, thank you.”

“Money isn’t everything.” Mason picked up his glass of rum and drank deeply.

“Something your mother used to say quite often.” Eoin sighed. “Dad is still broken up, you know how close they were.”

I sat silently. Now there was talk of Penelope. I wanted to hear what Eoin had to say.

Who knows, maybe I’ll finally hear the truth.

“I’m sure he is,” Mason said, arms folded on the table. He looked away.

“It was a terrible night, and none of us will ever forget it.” Eoin was holding his beer bottle between his hands, scratching the paper with his thumbnail.

“Your accident—it’s not something my father blames you for.”

Blame is brought up yet again!

“What accident?” I blurted.

My curiosity had got the better of me. I wanted to know, once and for all.

“You don’t know?” Eoin glanced at Mason. “You’ve not told her? I don’t understand.”

“That’s enough,” Mason said harshly. “This is not something I want to discuss. I didn’t tell her because I simply didn’t want her to know.”

“Why? What’s going on?” I looked between them, hoping one of them would give me a straight answer.

Whatever it is, it can’t be as bad as Mason is making it out to be.

“You’re together,” said Eoin. “You should tell her.”

Mason didn’t respond, and finally Eoin exhaled and turned to me. “Jamie—”

“I said that’s enough!” Mason snapped.

He stood from his chair.

“Dinner is over. You should leave before you say something you’ll regret.”

The tension was thick in the air as he left the table and took the stairs up to the second floor.

Eoin and I were left sitting in an uncomfortable situation. He stood and released a sigh.

“I’m very sorry, Jamie. I shouldn’t have intruded on your night. Thank you for dinner.”

He took his coat from the rack and put it on.

I hurried toward him and grabbed my gray wool cardigan.

“No, I’m sorry. When it comes to his mum, I know how reluctant Mason can be to talk.”

“I didn’t mean to push him.” Eoin picked up the brown box of memories and walked toward the front door.

I walked him to the front step, feeling the wind of the January night.

“I must say, I was surprised when Harry told me about you and Mason. He never lets anyone in. I thought he would have told you.”

“He’s guarded. I’ve tried. Nothing seems to break through.” I shivered at the cold against my skin.

“Maybe with time…” Eoin smiled lightly. “It was nice to meet you, Jamie. Tell that cousin of mine that I’m sorry, would you?”

“Bye, Eoin.”

I watched him retreat to his car and then closed the front door of the beach house.

I stood in silence, looking around the emptiness downstairs.

Now what to do?

I walked to the dining table and picked up the plates.

Guess I’ll get to it.

The living room was spick-and-span, the kind of clean my mum would be proud of.

I was midway through washing the dishes when I noticed a memorial card with Penelope’s face on it.

She died two years ago today!

“Jesus,” I whispered.

Two years to the very day. I could only imagine how the family felt.

Mason always acted like his mother’s death was a long time ago. It really wasn’t.

“Jamie…”

His voice came from behind me, causing me to turn in a panic.

“What have you got there in your hands?” He pointed.

I extended my hand and showed him. He took it from me and looked at it.

“I found it when I was putting a dish away. I didn’t know it was two years today. I wish you’d told me.”

“It’s none of your business.”

He placed the card on the island, facedown yet again.

“You keep insisting on knowing these things when you know damn well that I don’t want you to know.”

“How can you say that this is none of my business? It’s come up on plenty of occasions. Of course I’m a bit curious.”

Having done the last dish, I shut off the tap and shook the suds from my hands.

“I just want to know what’s going on in your head.”

“Trust me, you don’t.”

Mason went straight to the bottle of rum and poured himself another glass.

“Mason, if you don’t tell me, I’m just going to find out from someone else.”

I sighed and walked closer to him.

“Stop drinking and talk to me, damn it.”

I said it maybe a bit louder than I wanted to, but it was when I took the glass from his hands and set it on the counter that he lost it.

“All bloody right, Jamie. You want to know what happened to my mother?”

He grabbed my upper arms and very nearly shook me.

“I killed her! I killed my own mother.”

My whole body went numb.

What does he mean, he killed her?

“Now you know! Are you satisfied?”

When I didn’t answer, he let go, turned his back to me, and downed the rest of his rum.

“Two years ago tonight I crashed that fucking car and she was the one that paid the price. I lived and she didn’t!”

He took the bottle and filled the glass again.

An accident…it’s all starting to make sense.

“It isn’t your fault, Mason. It was a car crash. You’re not to blame for—”

He lowered the glass and glared at me.

“You don’t know anything about it, Jamie. You can’t say that. I had a drink that night and she didn’t know. She’s dead because I didn’t care! Of course I’m to fucking blame!”

This is where all the blondes come from. Why he couldn’t ever be with a brunette.

“You’re wrong! I might not know anything about it, but I know you can’t hold on to this blame. It’s killing you.”

I tried taking his hands in mine. I couldn’t hold back any longer. My voice dropped.

“Mason, listen to me. I... I love—”

“Don’t, Jamie.”

He stopped me short.

“Go to bed and get some rest. We’re leaving early in the morning.”

I turned around and walked toward the stairs without a word.

He knew what I was going to say.

He stopped me because the feeling was not mutual.

Standing on the first step, I turned and looked back at him as he filled his glass yet again.

No one can change Mason Knight but Mason Knight himself.

That is, if he could only bother to try.

***

Sebastian pulled up outside my apartment block. Mason and I sat in awkward silence.

The whole journey had been silent—the whole morning since we woke up actually.

He hadn’t even come to bed last night.

“Well, Carmen is waiting on me.”

I reached for the handle, preparing myself to leave without a word spoken between us.

But he stopped me.

“Give us a minute, would you, Sebastian?”

The driver stepped out of the car and closed the door.

“Jamie. I need to know now if we can make this work without feelings getting in the way.”

I can’t believe him.

“You’re saying if I don’t keep my feelings to myself, this between us is over?”

I was pissed that he was doing this to me after everything.

Mason didn’t answer the question, just looked away with a sigh.

He couldn’t even look at me—that was how much of a coward he was being.

“I guess I have my answer, then.”

I stepped out of the car and then leaned back in.

“You’re a coward, Mason Knight.”

With that, I slammed the door and walked away.

I didn’t look back. I couldn’t.