Several days had passed, with still no word from Elizabeth or Eli. It took two days for the household to settle down, and two more beyond that for Father to be assured enough in Mother's health to head back to the school.
Lord Robert began to stop in as soon as Father returned to the school, making use of his freetime now that he was relieved from watching the schoolchildren. He was very formal with me, though there was little choice with eyes on us- Thomas and Susanna were staying in the home for the time being, as Thomas was worried for the family now that Elizabeth had run off and Mother had been so hysterical during her episode.
"Your Father is doing well," Lord Robert assured Thomas, Susanna and I. We were seated in the drawing room- I had been reading as Thomas sat beside his wife while she played the piano on the opposite end of the room. I set my book down and made my way over to hear the conversation. "He has hired several teachers now, and though he is still interviewing Headmasters, the bunch looks promising. He has already informed them that he will be arriving unannounced for weekly inspections, and none of the candidates seemed weary of this. Though he is so taken with the children, I presume he will be around very often, as is."
"Good," I said, restraining myself from reaching for his hand as I wished to. "We must be far more vigilant this time around- we cannot leave the hiring process up to the Headmaster again, and we must never announce formal evaluations. Those children must never be mistreated in such a way again."
Robert met my gaze solemnly. "They never will."
I heard the oath in his words, and wondered if he had already spoken to my father about taking on a permanent role within the school. After a few moments of our eyes remaining connected, I forced my gaze away, hoping nobody had noticed the only kind of intimacy we could allow ourselves in such a setting.
"Thank you for your discretion," Thomas said suddenly, steering the conversation in a new direction. Robert and I both turned to look at him. "About Elizabeth, I mean. Word of her elopement getting out..."
He did not finish his sentence, no doubt feeling too conceited to go on. But, despite our worries for Elizabeth, and that fact that she had not sent word to us, Thomas' point was valid.
If word got out about what Elizabeth had done- running off unescorted with a boy of no Title, with the intent to wed- our whole family could be ruined. Father could lose any business dealings. Mother would be cast out of her social circle, Michael and I would struggle to find suitors, and Thomas was perhaps the most concerning of all- despite how close he was with his family, despite the protective love he held for us, he would be forced to pull away from us if word got out of what had happened.
If he did not, he would pulled down with us. As would Susanna, and any children they may one day have. I would have to pull away from Charlotte, as well, and perhaps even John, to save them from the same social ruin by allowing them to mingle with me. Father would have to transfer ownership of the school to someone, as well, lest the children be punished when the donations stopped coming in because the Father of the girl whom had created such scandal was the one managing the funds.
It was a cruel, materialistic, classist world that we lived in. That was something we could not change. So we simply had to do what we could to remain vague of where Elizabeth was and what had happened. So far, there had been no questions, but I knew they would come soon enough. Her absence at balls and tea gatherings would only go unnoticed for so long.
"I would never say a word," Robert promised, his eyes moving from Thomas to Susanna and then finally to me, where they rested. "I would never do anything to bring harm to your family- you must believe that."
Thomas nodded, but I could still see the concern in his gaze. I had to remind myself that he hardly knew Robert- his word meant nothing to my brother, and Thomas knew the threat that lingered for us should Robert tell a single soul- rumors spread like wildfire among the upper-crust society we dwelled in.
But I did trust Robert. And despite the fear that continued to grip me in my sister's absence, I felt no fear of rumors spreading. Only Robert and my immediate family knew of what had happened, and I trusted them all implicitly.
After a few more minutes of polite smalltalk, Robert excused himself, standing and gripping his coat. "I shall be off then. I will send word to your Father that all is well here- or as well as can be, given the circumstances. I must make my way to the market before I reach him, though- I must pick up seeds. He was just speaking of how he wishes to add bluebells to the garden at the school."
As Robert said bluebells, he met my gaze pointedly. I looked down to hide my smile, my nod so slight that I was certain neither Thomas nor Susanna would notice. I stood as Thomas did, and while he made his way to the door to show Robert out, I wandered casually over to the bookshelf.
"I think I shall go and read out in the garden," I said, doing my best to not appear overexcited. "To calm my nerves."
Thomas nodded, not even glancing towards me as he made his way to the desk just near the piano- Susanna began to play once more.
"Yes, good idea," Thomas agreed, leaning over to view a few papers that he had been taking a bit of a break from. Once returning to the drama, he had taken over much of Father's business dealings, stating that he would help with such things until Father's daily work over at the school was done. "We must do what we can to stay well amid all of this calamity."
I made a point of being a bit slow about choosing a book- though I was not entirely sure which one actually ended up in my grasp as I made my way towards the backdoor. I was fairly certain there were no eyes on me, but for cautions-sake I struggled to keep the slow and relaxed pace as I headed into the hedge maze- for the bluebells that had led to Robert and I meeting alone for the first time.
While I had been expecting to meet him here, I was still shocked when a hand gripped my wrist, pulling me into a hidden little pocket among the high bushes. While the hold was not painful, and the yank not particularly rough, it was abrupt enough that I gasped as my back was suddenly pressed against a tree, lips suddenly on my own.
The surprise of the act did not stop my own lips from responding, nor my arms from reaching up to wrap around Robert's shoulders.
"This is a bigger scandal than even what Elizabeth has done," I gasped in the brief time that Robert pulled away to trail his lips down my neck. Despite this being my first true kiss, I felt no hesitance, no embarrassment, no doubt. Still, I thought it only fair to warn him. "My brothers shall kill you if they find out."
Robert's lips trailed back up, lingering near the corner of my mouth. "I shall die anyway if I do not."
Just as he breathed the words, his lips crashed back down on mine once more. It took several moments for us to pull away from each other, and I was a bit unsteady on my feet when I did so. As if noticing, Robert smirked and held my arm, pulling me down to sit on the grass with him, leaving his arm over my shoulder as we leaned back against the tree.
"Well that was... unexpected." I said, not trying to fight off the smile as I rested my head against his shoulder. I brought a finger up to my lips, trying to see if they were truly as swollen as they felt.
Robert breathed a laugh, resting his chin against the top of my head. "As was the peck you gave me in the carriage. Unexpectedly- and entirely not enough."
I laughed, as well, suddenly feeling ridiculous at the embarrassment I had felt when I kissed him so quickly and then run off, fearing his reaction. "Had I known what your response would have been, I never would have left with such haste, my Robin."
He grinned at the nickname. "Would you not have?"
I leaned closer to him, but he pulled back slightly, a smile playing at his lips. "Now do not get carried away," He warned gently, bringing his hand to my cheek and cupping it there. "I came to speak with you, and fear we will never get 'round to it if we start up once more."
Though I teased him with a pout, I pulled back a bit, resting my head on his shoulder once more. "Go on and speak then, so we can get back to what truly matters."
With a chuckle, Robert brought his hand to my arm, rubbing it gently. "How do you fare?"
I frowned. My days were now an anxious and frightful mess, and it had been nice to forget for a few seconds. It seemed I forgot all when Robert's lips were upon mine. "I am alright."
"Amelia," Robert rebuked, sending me a disapproving glance. "Truly."
My shoulders slumped a bit, losing the perfect, confident posture that I had been holding for days, trying to be brave for Mother's sake. "I miss Elizabeth."
Unexpectedly, tears built in my eyes, and I ducked my head to hide against Robert once more. He kept his grip on me for several minutes, allowing me time to cry before speaking. "Felix- Eli, I suppose, as you call him- was one of the other peasant children you grew up with? One of the ones whom stayed in the Factory with you?"
I nodded, pulling back slightly to wipe tears away from my cheeks. I would need to compose myself before heading back inside, lest Mother realize I had been crying and worry even more than she already was. "Yes. He is one of my oldest friends. That is why-"
That was why it hurt so bad. It was not only Elizabeth whom I had been close to- not only Elizabeth whom had not said goodbye to me. I could not bring myself to make the confession aloud.
Robert tapped my chin upwards, bringing my eyes to his. He used the pad of this thumb to wipe away more tears as he spoke. "That is a good thing, Amelia. Can you see that? Eli is someone you trust- and not only that, someone whom grew up in the same way as you. He knows how to navigate the streets, he knows how to stay safe, and he knows how to survive. I am sure Elizabeth did not leave empty-handed- surely they brought along money, or something of value when they fled. Between Elizabeth's money and Eli's street smarts, combined with the fact that your parents would never dare report what they have done- they shall be safe, Amelia. There is no reason any harm should come to them."
I considered his words. They were logical, I supposed. Eli knew how to survive, and Elizabeth was both wealthy enough and smart enough to have brought funds. At least enough to get them by for several days.
"I still worry," I sighed after a moment, reaching down to twiddle with the ribbon around the waist of my dress.
Robert pulled me tighter against his side. "I know. You always will. But you must take comfort in knowing she is happy."
Above all else, was that not what I desired for my sister? Of course, I wished she was still here, with me. I wished there was a wedding I could have attended to celebrate with her. I wished I was there to help her adjust into her new role in life, and that I had gotten to hear her incessant, annoying chatter about all of the wedding preparation that she had had at the ready since we were just children.
But as Miss Lancing had said- she loved me, and wished for me only that I be happy, healthy, and safe in life. And I decided that, so long as Elizabeth was all of those things, I would accept her choice and support her right to make such choices.
So long as she kept in contact with me so I actually knew that all three of those categories were being met. But it had only been a few days that my sister had been gone- knowing that she had left with Eli, knowing that they intended to wed, knowing that they intended to go somewhere they would not be recognized- was it not fair that they had not yet sent word of their wherabouts? Though the days felt to be dragging by slowly, in truth, they may have even made it to their destination yet.
How many times had I been angered by the expectations held to young ladies? How many times had I vented to my sister that it was not fair that women were not granted rights to make choices of their own lives, or to travel when and where they wished, unattended? Could I truly be angry with my sister for doing what she felt necessary to escape the shackles in which she had been bound from birth?
The answer was simply, really- no. I could not be angry with Elizabeth. Nor with Eli- if he truly cared so much for my sister, he would keep her healthy and happy, and certainly safe.
That was all I could ask for. For my sister, or myself. I supposed I should be happy for Elizabeth- for the true, persisting, passionate love that she had found. And, as I leaned further into Robert, I could not shake away the thought that perhaps I had found it for myself, as well.