Elaine
"Stop pacing"
Calmly resting my back against the headboard my gaze automatically glides itself back and forth in an accord to Nathans movements like a pendulum. He pauses his disturbed parade as he throws a disbelieving look in my direction before resuming.
Sighing I play with the loose thread from the blanket as I simultaneously scan around Nathans room. Shaking my head with a shudder at the mess I browse back to my initial focus. The persistent attempt to stop his pacing.
"Will you quit doing that? It's creepy" he frowns, huffing sarcastically.
"I am a bothered human right now. And you just can't expect me to sit down and act cool. Like nothing happened" he stops. Turing his full attention at the wall above my head. The very walls that has been keeping me hostage for the whole of weekend.
"No Nathan. I am asking you to stop riling yourself up and stop worrying about me" I croak, taking a deep breath as I scowled, daring my brutal strength to rip that night apart from memory.
"Not worry about you? Great!" he chuckled mockingly as he made his way to the edge of the bed I was in and plopped down. The pallid brown walls of his room were depressing enough and to topple it above his sympathy and pitiful advancement towards me added up the condonation. But, it was suffocating. Providing an essence of anger in the place of gratefulness.
How weak exactly do people think I am?
Yes I was pushed into a pool by a boy who struggled with his demons. Who battled enough, but gradually lost himself and became one.
There was no denying that Alexander White is someone who I'll never forget till the end.
A curse I loved.
Loved, until it became a notion that I wanted to ridicule like never before. To damage such illusion to anyone who ever flourishes such delusional thinking. To break such dilemma that it ever brings happiness.
Instead I want to show them what it does. It brings changes.
A change so vile and cruel, that the person couldn't find the old self within them anymore.
Bitter, dark and sinfully damaged soul that only wishes to exist for the day it can corrupt every single emotion of expectation in them, till there is none. Leaving behind a hollow shell.
It took me two days.
"Why are you doing this to yourself El?" he sighs running a hand over his stressfully curdled face.
"Then what do you what me to do Nathan? Breakdown? Bawl my eyes out? Whine about how unfortunate I am? Then stop expecting it because I don't feel it. I can't Nathan. Not anymore" I snapped at him by the end, losing control in way that wasn't familiar to me. Heaving a breath I look at him, his face a shadow of interpreting analyzation.
"Then don't" he said, confused I looked away "don't breakdown. It's the last thing I want you to do. What I don't want is for you to lose yourself in the midst of this harbor. You have been through so much, but this time I saw a different outcome in you and it not good"
Silence fell upon us like a thick cloud, consuming anymore argument I had it in me.
"It's too late Nathan" I feel myself say, the taste of the words still lingering as it escaped. It hardly sounded like me, they weren't soft, determined and enduring, It was void and dead. Hopeless.
"El you ne-
"you did what I asked you too?" cutting him mid sentence I wheel the subject, he halts to look at me, his brown eyes searching mine for any leak or crack, with a futile look he shakes his head in defeat before nodding an acceptance.
"Leonard White and Ian Blakewall were friends since diaper days. Attended the same schools. Basically inseparable. Still is. A little deeper into the financial statuesque, Ian holds ten percent share of Elite Corporation, that's what they call it, all the franchises, enterprises and resource goes by the name. Fair enough since they are best at what they do, which is quite scary when you are so awfully involved with weapons and government itself. But, money-"
His face lights up like the future of a girl who has been assigned for the next victoria's secret runway show. "They are filthy rich, like half of their companies can go bankrupt and they would still have enough money to buy a huge island entirely. That's why Ianny-" he looks at my stoic listening face before sighing back " -Ian inspite of his busy schedule handles the legal works related to this White dude, damn I sound racist" he mutters the last part inwardly.
Taking it all in nod, as he blinks a yawn back massaging the back of his neck wincing.
An uncomfortable sleep in couch outside could do that to you, even when he was reasonably offered by me to sleep in there owing to my adjustable height. But he was persistent and I had no intention or energy to explain the aftermath when he could feel it himself the next day.
It was a blur, that night. I try not to divulge into the buried pain that was so intense enough to erase itself from my memory. I do remember being scared. Terrified. The flashes from the past as they interlapsed with the present. The chaos and then silence.
I don't remember the drive back to Nathans apartment, but I do recall the odd girl who came rushing to me. The girl who gave me her clothes to wear for the night. In the morning I heard her scream at Nathan to clean the toilet. Her toilet. And Nathan obediently followed her orders cursing like a sailor under his breath, he looked so much like Noah for a moment.
When she brought me in the breakfast, that's when I actually saw her. The side of her head was shaved and rest of her ash blond hair were dyed blue from the mid to tip till it acquired a green hue of a peacocks feather. Her spiky studded leather jacket with silver beads and her jean shorts had me dazed for a second. Then i gazed down to the insanely ripped dark washed jeans of hers i wore, it was a size smaller but what I gathered from the texture we matched right now, i bet her whole wardrobe comprised of leathers and spikes. still Contrasting to the swirls of ink that tattooed her neck was the genuine smile on her face.
"You look way too normal to be Nathan Ross's friend." She smirked hollering aloud.
Having no clue or a head start for what to answer I watched her shrinking under the duvet.
"I can hear you" from afar a faint voice of Nathan echoed as she rolled her eyes but placed the tray of food in front of me as I quizzically peered at her. With a funny look she chuckled at me extending her hands for a greet. Hesitantly I accept them.
"El right? I don't know what it's short for, it could be elephant or eleven for all.i know. Not that you look like one, but you are really cute and small. And yeah it's Zoe by the way. Your friend Nathan lives in my apartment." She grinned spanning her arms wide like a showman in circus showcasing their colossal act.
"I pay rent" it came again, his embarrassed and really annoyed voice which we both ignored when the flushing of the toilet resonated.
"He calls three month's rent due as paying. I don't mind until he does the odd jobs for me, like errands and stuffs. Like a compensation ya know? and yeah you can keep the clothes you are wearing, suits you." I nod licking my lips, still knocked out of any logical conclusion.
But one thing was for sure, she was handful. In fact more than that. She was crazy.
This was in morning and now by night I still can't comprehend how Nathan patiently follows her commands, taking them so leniently. She was younga and small probably an inch less than me but curvy on sides with heart shaped face and hazel eyes, even with her odd clothing and hair she still was pretty enough to draw ample amount of attention.
The useless thoughts drawled into a useless contemplation as we sat in silence. But on noticing Nathans disturbing quirks of creases I raise a brow at him.
'Is there something else you want to say?" his lips thins as he slowly nods, like it took him a while to decide weather to share it with me or stir the conversation away.
"Alexander has an aunt" his name stings sharply, irking my ears as I play nonchalant hiding in the surprise.
"Really?" I say tugging at the sleeve of Zoe's Nirvana t-shirt that I wore, but stopped short when he continued.
"She's in coma" I lift my eyes to meet his, the brown orbs were uniquely trained upon mine to sense a subtle sign of reaction. I frowned, by now even I can't keep the act up.
"Since when?" clearing my throat I ask, gnawing at the lower lip.
"Been more than a year. Kiara White is the name, extracting the cause for her condition was a failure. A bunch of rumors but no apt evidence" he rubbed his sore eyes as my shoulders fell, a slight pang of guilt to have him this tired and to be a reason behind it.
The way he was endorsed with tranquility, I bet he was up all night doing this.
"He never told me" squinting down I wrap up his unsaid question. With a heart that was skewed and renewed with sole intensity of hatred towards the boy, the seducing tug of sadness never comes.
An immunity or a weakness.
"He told me that he wasn't aware of your fear" he softly adds, as if he reticently believes it'll aid a part of me. But he couldn't be so wrong.
I thought back to the life, My fears has always been used against me, they had been repeated so long that it blurred into a mess till it became my strength. Stripped of a world that involved trust, happiness and love in the face of betrayals and nightmares. I had nothing to lose.
"So- how long?" i try to pin him with my stare as he looks the other way.
"What long?"
"You and I both know what I am talking about. I want to- no I need to go back. I've been here for the whole of weekend. I feel like I've been kept in a home arrest with a nanny who is in dire requirement of shaving that weird looking moustache" I state flatly as he looks back at me wide eyed.
"This is a man's look, okay. My moustache is real fine. Compliments the beard" with a animalistic face palm I growl.
"I want to go back"
"I can bring your things back. you don't have to go there to get it yourself. Besides after your scheduled meet with Ianny tomorrow I see no use for you to attend that hell hole anymore" lying flat on his stomach with his arms crossed to support his chin he foresees me, a twinkle of expectant glimmer in his eyes. Too bad it wasn't working on me.
"I can manage it fine. You can't keep me locked up in here forever" with my final decision I thought back to the e-mail I received this morning. Apparently the mobile was waterproof, unlike me it survived without much damage. And to think who bought them for me made my stomach churn with more unsettling riot. The mail was from Mr. Blakewall who in prior informed me that he returns to the city by mid night flight and will send a chauffeur to the school to pick me up tomorrow morning.
Grazing out the imagination of how our conversation might take place was an enigma and a headache. So I do my best to not think about it.
But what I do think about a lot is a method to convince Nathan to drive me back to stuarts. And so far I wasn't going anywhere. I can take a cab anyday, but I was naïve enough to predict a party to not turn out a disaster in disguise by the end, especially when its me involved. So I leisurely forgot my wallet.
To be honest I want to go back to not just get my belongings, but to see the place were I thought I actually belonged for once, for the last time. I may not have the audacity to face the friends I made, they were too genuine for my lies. But to be there with the knowledge of parting, is a closure I need.
I sat there lazily till my stomach grumbled, I had skipped the lunch in order to stubbornly persuade Nathan to let me go.
I turned to him only to see him sprawled like a leopard skin with his mouth agape, lost in a sea of dreamland. Deciding not to disrupt his sleep I slowly got to my feet, and immediately regretted when I stepped on his dirty pair of socks.
Wrinkling my nose I tip toed the maze like patterns on his tortured floor comprising of suspicious materials, wires and god knows what I finally breathed a relief when I was out. The flood of ecstasy my stomach feels when it spot a humongous piece of cake in the refrigerator was pathetic, but it was a requirement so I grab a clean fork and get on with it.
The pineapple cake, though not my favorite flavor felt more divine and heavenly than anything I ever had. When I was done, shamelessly I sneak the empty plate back on it's position.
When I pull back after shutting it, I spot zoe by the entrance door. I look her longingly as she bends down to tie her shoe laces to go out.
"Is something wrong?" at her question I blush realizing I was caught staring at her.
"No" I say abruptly as she frowns. Running my hands through the hair I sigh "I was thinking about the air outside, been inside since two days. I miss the sun and the moon and stars. God I even miss the traffic and sea gulls" I add solemnly, losing my sanity by the second as her frown deepens.
"I am going out. You want me to drop you somewhere?" With a motion of her thumb she points at the direction of the exit. My mouth falls open at her offer, it felt unnatural. My reaction, but I wasn't able to control in anymore. Like a dead fish in sea, I found my feet stride to her.
"You will?" I whispered as she nods.
Before I know I was holding her waist seated behind her in her monstrous bike, the helmet heavy on our head and the schools entrance gate nearing by the view.
The horrific yet rhythmic vibrating gurgle of her bike halts. Swinging my legs sluggishly I remove the helmet.I stumble slightly off the momentum as she whistles, her eyes trained over the extravagance I call school.
"ya loaded or something girl?" She flicks her gaze to me, the squishy chew of gum pulverized between her teeth tearing through the cold are.
"Nope, just brainy" I grin, a really fat grin that was creepy enough to feel it's stretch. But mysterious to why I was actually doing it.
And then I felt my legs wobble.
"Woah woah woah, hold up! are you alright?" she asks extending her hands to straighten my posture. Her hands were soft like the smoothest fur of a Persian cat. A cat? They were treated as Egyptian deities during the era of Cleopatra. Wait? What am I thinking, yes. cat poops in a litter box. I don't even own a cat.
Placing my palms against my head I wipe away the sweat.
"you look like you hadn't eaten in days" with strength of a Hercules I clear my mind of raging stupidity it was brewing as I looked up at her, shaking sideways I rejected her assumption as She checks her gears and break.
"In fact quite the opposite, I had a huge piece of pineapple cake just a while back" her weaving focus on her bike stops as her head snaps in my direction. Eyes wide and bewilderment written all over her face as her eyes ran over mine. Then ever so slowly a few respectable words fell out from her lips.
"Pineapple cake?"
I grin, nodding ferociously.
"It was damn tasty, lip smacking" I went as far to show my appreciation by patting my satisfied belly. But frowned when it was followed by a tread of series, strings of curses from her vocabulary.
"Why are you using such bad words?" my lips pulls down in disapproval as she answers me with parallel subject.
"Nate is going to kill me" she mutters under her breath before hoisting her glance up. a look at me is all it takes her to groan and slump back.
"Listen El or whatever your full name is. The cake you just ate was the remaining piece from my friends birthday" blinking I nod, I was about to offer her friend my belated wishes when-
"It was an edible baked with marijuana"
I blink, it was rather fun doing that. Using your lids to work. But when her words settled in it became quite hard to carry the task out simultaneously, in fact it did the opposite job of peering wide.
"What?" I squeaked aloud as she winced "like weed?" I whine pathetically as she nod, a helpless feature masking her face.
Looking down I place a hand upon my tummy and caress it like a woman with baby bump.
"I can take you back if you want"
"No, I can't do that. Tell me an alternative" I look at her shaking my head frantically, trying to sweep away the incoherent thought that clouded me. it takes her some minutes to calculate something before she gets back to me.
"It'll take twenty more minute before it completely kicks in. get to your room and to bed before it happens" she sternly advises me and like a lost puppy my head falls, after much deliberation I assure her that I won't do anything that'll get me kicked out of the school.
Taking deep breaths I take each step, occasionally rattling my head to blink in normality.
When I get to Elite I borderline rush inside, the corridor which was thankfully empty providing me a catalyst to my room. Once in, I jump onto my bed, switching off the light I bring the blanket to my head.
It was fine till some time, But Then I had an immediate urge to built a pillow castle, and it was just not fair that my room had a lame number of mere two fluffy bags of cotton. Switching the lights back on I went to washroom to fetch some more. A small voice screamed at me, it echoed the word stupid and idiot. But nothing could stop me from building a castle of my own now, I'll rule my own kingdom.
I'll name it fluffland, or does pilloward sounds good?
Damn, it was hard to choose especially when the washroom was void of the construction material I was surveying for. I Even went as far as to check the space between the wall and toilet seat, but the entitled space was preoccupied by a resident already. It was black, had velvety skin and six intersecting pairs of spikey coils for locomotion and transporting purpose.
When it actually did the job of mobileness did I found the voice in my throat. Screaming loud enough to distraught my own eardrums I half jumped and half ran to my phone and dialed the one number that could save me from this.
"This is nine one one what's your Emergency?"
"A spider broke into my bathroom" I sniffed as I whispered. There was a prominent and rude pause at the time of such distress.
"Hello?"
"I am right here" I grumbled.
"Ma'am are you sure it's a spider?"
"What?" I shrill at the ridiculous question. "I know how a spider looks like, this one was odd, had twelve legs. But I know my intruder." I proudly jut my chin up, but a look at the washroom door later I wanted to run for the hills. Are there any hills in Orlando?
"Ma'am. Are you drunk?" this had me, the notch of leniency of the girl towards my situation rose my temper.
"No" my words were clamped and rude, but she just can't call me that. "I am not drunk, I am Elaine"
I heard a chuckle followed by a breathy cough,
"Listen carefully Ma'am, if you may." I hum in response as she jotted a few usable points for me to get rid of code z situation. "I may not be able to send help now, but to see to it that can shoo away your intruder do try to kill it or get some help from your neighbor" at that I contemplated wisely, the first option was not a choice to begin with. I was not going in there again.
But the latter.
"Neighbor?" I ask, finalizing her recommendation.
"Yes, neighbor"
***