Complicated

BECCA

At 7 pm, I walked out of Kate and Tim’s house and watched as Drew’s car stopped near the sidewalk. I chose my loose red dress for this occasion. It wasn’t revealing or anything like that. It was a beautiful dress that ended just above my knees. I felt comfortable and cute in it.

Kate tried to convince me to do makeup, but I just put a little mascara on my eyelashes and let my hair down. I was beautiful, and Drew liked me no matter what.

Kate tried to make me talk when I got there this morning, but it was no use. How could I explain to her what Logan’s words meant to me? He hurt me by having good intentions towards his friend.

I only told her that I would go on a date with Drew. I chose this word specifically and saw Kate narrowing her eyes at me. She made a few attempts just now, but I was politely refusing to discuss this subject more with her.

“Rebecca, wow! You’re just as stunning as ever,” Drew said. He was wearing a white shirt, which hugged his muscled chest tightly, and blue jeans. It was an excellent contrast to his tanned skin. He was gorgeous, and there was no doubt about it.

“You continue to flatter me without any reason for it,” I replied. He stepped towards me and kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes as his lips lingered. He still used the same cologne as he did years ago. The memories of our past flooded my mind.

“That’s bullshit, Becca. I am just stating facts,” Drew leaned away from me and stared into my eyes. God, how much I loved looking at him when he was with me. Just looking at him on the field, or when we spent time at the lake or in the dorm. “What is it?”

“Oh…” I was so caught up in my past that I hadn’t realized I was staring at him for too long. “Just reminiscing about our past.”

“I like the sound of that. I have planned something perfect for tonight. I am sure you will like it.”

“We will see. Shall we?” Drew took my hand in his without even asking. I gulped nervously. He arched his eyebrow at me. I shook my head, and we started walking to his car. It was a black BMW X1. Guess his family business was doing damn good. “Impressive.”

“Thanks. I love this car. It’s my beautiful baby.” Drew opened the door for me, and I slid inside.

“Really? A baby?” I laughed. Drew got in the car and turned to me with a smile on his lips.

“Well… As I don’t have a permanent woman in my life, it’s doing the trick for me.” I pushed the strands of hair behind my ears, trying to figure out what to say next. But then I sniffed the air and realized that there were pizza boxes on the backseat.

“Erm, Drew? You said we were going to have dinner.”

“Is pizza not fancy enough for you?” I narrowed my eyes at him; Drew was trying hard to stay serious. “Becca, trust me, please.”

“Okay.”

Drew started the engine, and we drove. In the car, “~Lonely~” by Diplo and the Jonas Brothers was playing. I liked this song the first time I heard it and was pleasantly surprised to hear it.

“How was your day? How was dinner yesterday?”

“Everything is good, thank you.” I pursed my lips. I was acting as if he were a stranger. It wasn’t fair, and most importantly, it was so stupid!

“Becca, relax! Yeah, we haven’t seen each other for a while, but let me remind you that you and I have seen each other naked, and that counts for something.”

“Yeah, a solid argument. How could I argue with that?” I shook my head, laughing. “Okay, sorry. It’s just… I am a little confused by the purpose of this dinner.”

“It’s not a dinner, Becca. It’s a date. We are going to watch a movie together, eat this delicious pizza, and talk. I want to remind you of our past, about us.”

“I am a grown-up man. I am ready to settle down. I could talk to my dad and convince him to open an office in New York. It will be perfect for our business, and we have talked about that already. So it won’t be such a big deal.”

I had no words. What could I say to all that? He came prepared. He was determined to make me fall for him again. Knowing that I had chosen Logan would break his heart. Fucking hell! It was even worse than I imagined.

Drew parked the car, and I saw that he brought us to the open-air cinema, just like he did when we had just started seeing each other. I honestly felt nauseous.

Having good intentions is honorable, but... Hell is full of good meanings and wishes also. Logan wanted to do a favor for Drew, but right now, it looked more and more like a sick joke.

“Hey, what’s with the face?” I blinked a few times, trying to focus. I was in the car alone, the door to my side was open, and there was Drew. His eyebrows were furrowed with concern. He had no idea what was going on inside my head.

“Nothing. What are we going to watch tonight?”

“Okay, babe, I will let it slide this time, but I know you too well. Something is bothering you, and I can’t figure it out. For now.”

Drew extended his hand to me. I took it, and he helped me climb out of his car. Then he took pizza boxes from the backseat and a blanket.

“Can you grab the beer bottles from the trunk? I was planning to buy red wine, but drinking it from a red cup seemed wrong.”

“Beer sounds good too. But only if it’s…”

“Ale. I remember.” Shit!

“Yeah, you’re right.” I grabbed the bottles, and he closed the car. We went further to the big screen.

There wasn’t a crowd of people, but we weren’t the only ones. I saw couples here and there, talking and laughing. I saw some high schoolers chanting and making fools of themselves. Okay, I need to relax. It was Drew, for fuck’s sake!

“So, I think I need to make everything clearer. There is no pressure, Becca. Yes, it’s a date, but it doesn’t make you obliged to do anything that you don’t feel like doing. It’s just an opportunity to talk face to face.

“I know what I said to you, and I stick to it. I loved you, Becca, and I love you still. I wanted to snap out of it, I was hoping for that, but it’s just impossible.”

“Drew…”

“No, I need to get this off my chest, please. This date is my chance to spend some time with you alone. I need to understand if there is something between us, or if it’s all in the past. What if I love you, but I’m not in love with you? I need to know that, Rebecca.”

“I thought about our future, but what if there is no ‘us’ anymore? You seemed distant at the wedding and especially at dinner.”

“Can you blame me for that? I hadn’t seen Logan and you for four years.”

“It was good to know that I wasn’t the only one who was thrown out of your life. I always checked for information with Logan—was he aware of you? Of your work? Or of your love life?”

“And?” Drew stopped and put the blanket on the ground. We sat down on it, and Drew opened the first pizza box. I caught the scent of mushrooms and ham. I felt my mouth watering.

“Good to know that some things are still the same. You’re an unbelievable mushroom lover. You don’t even have a sweet tooth, but you have a soft spot for mushrooms of any kind.”

“I like dark chocolate!”

“With the whole hazelnut. I know.”

I locked eyes with Drew. He remembered even these little details about me. It said a lot.

“Well… As I told you already, I wanted to be sure that Logan knew nothing about you. He was spending more and more time with these girls from the fashion world, and I felt safe.”

“Do you believe that Logan could settle down with someone like them?” Drew opened the beer for me and handed me the bottle. I took it and took a sip.

“Why not? He’s not the same Logan anymore. Besides, his last girl, Teresa—she’s different from the others. I know her too.”

“Are you hinting that Logan and you banged her together?” This time I gulped a good amount of beer.

“Yeah. It was almost at the same time as she met him. She stayed. That girl can be very determined, trust me.”

“She’s beautiful.”

“She is. Logan was completely hooked, and still is. He couldn’t even avert his eyes from her at the wedding. They kissed a lot. I even saw them sneaking out to the house where John’s brother lives.”

But Logan said he didn’t have sex with her. Was he lying to me? My heart started pounding in my chest. I wanted to call him and question him.

“What are we going to watch?” I took a slice of pizza and started chewing on it. It was a very delicious pizza, Drew was right. But right now, I couldn’t concentrate.

“It’s Vivian Lee week. It will be ~Gone with the Wind~.”

“Excellent choice, as always.”

“I hoped that you would like it.”

I smiled at Drew. He was trying to make me feel comfortable. The least I could do was try to be myself. I would have time to freak out later.

We saw the movie was starting, and a comfortable silence settled between us. We were eating pizza, drinking beer, and talking just a little, mostly discussing our favorite moments from the movie.

I hadn't even noticed that Drew moved closer and wrapped one arm around my waist. When I realized what had happened, I was already leaning my back against his chest, and his hands were keeping me close to him. It was Drew all over.