𝟎𝟐𝟗. 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖺𝗅𝗈𝗍，𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋

𝟎𝟐𝟗. 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖺𝗅𝗈𝗍，𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋

💌𝖿𝗋𝗆 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗀𝖾 𝗉𝗈𝗏

i had the missed her laugh, her voice, the warmth of her body, the way she tasted of my lips, that smile of hers, the joy she had bought me and the love she had given me.

i had missed her deeply and i had nobody but myself to blame. i had let my emotions get the best of me and i backed away from the greatest thing that's even happened to me.

she was the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, and now she was gone. she hasn't returned an message or an call from since that night.

she hasn't returned an message or call from anyone since that night, after that night eden told me she went to new york early instead of spending the summer we planned in storrs.

i went to the apartment an week after she left and she had almost left everything behind which left an heavy mark on my heart but i noticed the promise ring that laid on the night stand along with the gifts i had given her. i still wore mines and never dared to take it off because it was the only thing that made me feel like she was still here.

new york wasn't far but she was, i had talked about her as if she was dead but technically she was because i knew i was dead to her and she wanted nothing to do with me.

i had became more committed to basketball, from sunrise to sundown i was inside the gym or on the court. i didn't have time for anything else because outside of basketball it was sydney.

"do you think she'll be okay?", i hear drew ask outside my door, i came back home to minnesota but even home reminded me of her. there's an silence as he waits for the answer, "i don't know buddy, maybe... but right now she's going through an rough patch and the only thing we can do to help is be there for her", my dad replies.

i knew being around me was slowly becoming mentally draining for everybody but no matter how hard i tried to be happy or at least be a little bit of myself... i couldn't.

"can i talk to her daddy?", drew ask and there's another silence before there's an slight knock on my door, the door opens slightly revealing a little light.

"hi sweetie, it's just drew checking in", my dad said letting drew slip through the little crack of the door before shutting the door. i threw the covers off my body meeting eyes with drew.

he seemed uptight and not the silly, chaotic version of his-self. "what's wrong?", i ask worried and he looks down shaking his head standing by the door so far away. "i just miss you", was all he said looking back up me. "right here", i say but he shakes his head again. "no, i miss you p...", he states again but on a much deeper level.

i realized what he meant and it hurt me to see him like this and the example i was setting for him right now. "i know your sad and that it's okay to be sad but... you're really really sad", he tells me.

my eyes start to gloss up and you would believe it if i told you i never cried so much like i have been these past few months. "im so sorry drew", i apologize.

"i don't mean to be really really sad but i miss her...", i trail and only walks up to me crawling into my bed before hugging me tight.

i try my best not to break down but this what I really needed, an hug and my little brother. "it's going to be okay p, if you guys really love each you'll always find a way back because that's what you do", he tells me giving me a wet kiss on my cheek making me grimace playfully because he knew i hated wet kisses.

"i promise im going to try to be myself again but you have to bare with me", i tell him and he nods, "it's okay, I'll be here for you", he says and there's an silence.

"I love you drew", i confess.

"I love you too lil white gurl", he says and i gasp.

💌

it was nearly 3am and i was scrolling her social medias, the last thing she posted was our 6 month anniversary post. she haven't took any pics or videos of us down which gave me a little bit of hope but maybe it was just so people wouldn't start to bomb us with questions of what happened because times were already hard enough.

i was deep in our photo album when i saw an pic of her with my family with an big smile plastered on her face, she had her beautiful curls out and a white sundress holding flowers that drew had given her.

the sun danced upon her skin as if she was angel... she was. i never really thought it was true the saying you never really miss them until they're gone but now i was living days like it and it was true.

i fiddled with the bottom of my lip pulling it back and forth with my pointer finger making an popping sound, i switch between photos to the message open and sigh as i start to type.

𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐲𝐝 🤍🫂

i miss you

i should've never took you for granted

i would take the messages and phone calls and plane rides any day

you're so beautiful

you're so smart

you're so kind

i miss you sydney

i hope New York is good too you and that you're okay

im always here for you even when you don't want to talk

i still love you...

I understand if you want to move on but can we talk first at least

please

text me when you get the chance

whenever that may be

sent at 3:15 am

💌 𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝟢𝟤𝟫，

𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗍， 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋