Professor Astor: Chapter 20

My heart is pounding as I park in front of my house. Amara told me she’d join for our weekly family dinner tonight, and it’ll be the first time I’ll see her since she left for her honeymoon. She knows just how upset I was when Thor gave me the wrong number, and I’ve never lied to her before, nor have I ever kept anything from her. How do I tell her that the man I was so heartbroken over is her cousin?

I’m nervous when I walk in and try to hide it, but Asha throws me a concerned look, and her concern only worsens when I try to force a smile.

Mom holds her phone to her ear, and I cringe at the sound of her shouting. I don’t even have to ask her who’s she on the phone to. If she’s shouting like that, she’s making a phone call to India. For some reason that I’ll never understand, my parents always shout when they’re on the phone to anyone in India. It’s almost like they think their voice won’t travel all the way to India unless they scream. It’s weird, because my mother is highly intelligent, yet she always does this. I shake my head as I walk past her, hoping she won’t make me talk to family members that I barely remember.

“You’re back!” I say, grinning at Amara.

She jumps up from the sofa and rushes up to me, squeezing me so tightly she nearly lifts me off the floor. “Oh my God, I missed you so much, Ley!”

“I kinda figured as much, since you were texting me practically every hour while you were supposed to be on your honeymoon.”

She smiles happily. “It was amazing, but I really wish I could’ve experienced it with you too. We have to go to Fiji together.”

“Sure. I’ll just tell the hot doc that his wife is going on holiday without him,” I say, walking into the kitchen to wash my hands. “Come to think of it, where is your dear husband?”

Amara follows me and shrugs. “He’s at home. These family dinners have always kind of been our thing. Me getting married shouldn’t change that.”

I stare at her in surprise, my heart warming. “Love you,” I tell her.

“Love you more,” she replies as she leads me to the dining table, where my mother has already set the table. “I’ve so been looking forward to this.”

I side-eye her and shake my head. “Did you come to see me, or did you come for the food?”

She smiles guiltily and shrugs. “Both?”

“Leave her alone,” Mom says, admonishing me, and I hold my hands up in defeat.

“Look, Amara. I made your favorite,” she says, pushing a plate of freshly baked cassava her way.

Amara squeals excitedly. “I’m secretly your favorite daughter, aren’t I, Auntie?”

Asha and I both roll our eyes. “Secretly,” we both repeat mockingly, almost in unison.

“I love all you girls equally,” Mom says, and Asha and I both shake our heads. The truth is that neither of us minds the way Mom treats Amara. I’m just glad she gets to experience a few moments of motherly love, because her own mother wasn’t exactly affectionate when Amara was growing up. Charlotte is better now, but she’s still nothing like my mom.

“So, Amara,” Mom says. “Your husband, does he have any doctor friends you can introduce Leia to?”

I freeze and let my eyes fall closed. Damn it. I should’ve expected that. “Look at her, Leia,” Mom says. “She married a doctor. Meanwhile, you aren’t even dating anyone.”

I swear, Asian parents. I wasn’t allowed to date anyone when I was younger, so where exactly am I supposed to conjure a husband from?

“Amara has also already finished her doctorate. What are you doing, huh?”

I glance at Asha, who sends me a sympathetic look. “Mom, leave her alone. She’s so busy with work and school. Isn’t that what you always told us to focus on?” Asha says.

“Yes, because that’s what I’m supposed to say. I expected her to sneak around like you did and find a boyfriend, but she never did.”

I burst out laughing, and Asha looks mortified, which only adds to my amusement. I glance at Rohan, but he just smiles to himself as he feeds their two-year-old daughter, Nalini, while Asha has their four-year-old son, Rohit, in her lap.

“Leia will find someone when she’s ready,” Dad says, and I smile at him in gratitude. “But by that time, I might be in my grave.”

My smile drops. “Seriously, Dad?”

“Patient, I am not,” he replies, doing his best Yoda impression, and I groan.

“Devi’s son is still single. He’s a lawyer, and he seems like a nice boy. Devi told me they’re looking for a girl for him now. Why don’t you meet up with him?” Mom asks.

Devi’s son, Lakshman, is also a piece of shit that’s cheated on every single girl he’s ever been with. His parents pretend not to know about his girlfriends, but we all know. No, thanks. I’m also not at all interested in an arranged match. If I ever get married, I want it to be because I fell so madly and deeply in love that I can’t see a life without that person, and despite my flaws, they’d feel the same.

It’s not like I can have kids anyway. What’s the point of getting married for anything but love? And if it’s an arranged match, it won’t take long for everyone to start gossiping about my fertility issues, since it isn’t something we can keep from anyone who proposes a match.

“Actually, Leia,” Amara says. “I think Noah might have a friend I could set you up with.”

I glance at her, unsure if she’s trying to save me from this situation or if she’s being serious. “Yeah, sounds great,” I tell her, figuring I can just cancel later, anyway.

“Such a good friend,” Mom says, nodding at her, and I look up at the ceiling in frustration.

Thankfully, dinner is relatively quiet after that, my parents’ attention stolen by their two grandchildren. The second I can, I escape to my bedroom, Amara hot on my heels.

“I hate it when they’re like that to you,” she says as she closes the door behind her.

“Aren’t you used to it yet?”

“I am, but I still don’t like it.”

I shake my head. “My dad won’t even let me move out, arguing that my sister didn’t move out until she got married either, yet somehow I’m supposed to date? Can you imagine if I don’t come home one night when they know I went on a date? All hell would break loose.”

She sits down next to me and pulls her feet up, making herself comfortable on my bed. “When we were on our honeymoon, Noah mentioned something about our wedding day that I didn’t notice because of all the excitement. Apparently, you were really shocked to see my cousin, Adrian.”

My eyes widen a fraction, my heart skipping a beat. “How was your honeymoon, anyway? Did Noah sex you up?”

She narrows her eyes at me. “I’ve told you every detail about my honeymoon, almost in real time. You’re changing the subject.”

I look away, my nerves getting the best of me. “He… he’s Thor.”

Amara stares at me in disbelief. “What?”

I nod. “He told me his divorce papers had already been signed then, but yeah… it’s him.”

Amara sits back and nods, her shock evident. “Adrian, really?”

I nod. “Apparently Thor is a play on your last name, Astor. I can’t believe I missed that. You guys don’t look super similar, but still.”

“What are you going to do?” she asks.

I shake my head. “Nothing. He’s got Lucy and Colton, and they’re still adjusting. He can’t introduce any further changes into their lives. Besides, he’s my PhD advisor. I can’t get involved with him, not until I finish my PhD. It was so many years ago, Amara. It was just a one-night-stand. Now we’re just… I don’t even know what we are now.” I think back to the way he wiped my hands clean after Lex held my hand, and my heart skips a beat.

“You’ve met Lucy and Colton?” Leia asks, her voice high-pitched.

I hesitate before elaborating. “Your mother hired me as their nanny.”

“Wow, way to go, Mom,” she says, her shock making way for that calculated look I’ve grown accustomed to. The one that spells nothing but trouble. “Leia, for as long as I’ve known you, you’ve believed in fate. How could this not be fate? Life is forcing you together in so many different ways for a reason.”

I blink in surprise. That’s not what I expected her to say. “Leia, he’s my professor. He’s got kids. It’s not as simple as us being able to date and just seeing what happens. There are too many risks, too many hearts that could end up broken.”

She nods. “I know, Leia. But there are also so many broken hearts that could be made whole. It’s what you do, babe. You’re the glue that holds everything and everyone together, even if it means you’re irreparably damaged because of it. For once, let someone hold you together. Let him do for you what he did two years ago. If you could spend every single night experiencing what you did two years ago, wouldn’t that be amazing? Adrian is one of the best people I know. He’s hardworking, and he’s always been there for me, even if I called him in the middle of the night. He’s loyal to a fault, and the way he loves his children is something else. He’s a good man, Leia.”

The hope I feel makes me uncomfortable, and I can’t help but look away. “I mean, the sex was good, but he’s just a guy, Amara. I’m over it.”

“No, you’re not. Tell yourself whatever you want, but at least think about it. I get it, it’s hard. You know how tough it was for Noah and I to choose each other in the end. It felt like the whole world was against us, like everyone in our lives conspired to keep us apart, but in the end, I’d still choose him. Despite the pain and the difficulties we went through to get where we are, I’d choose him. I’d do it all over again. I have a feeling you and Adrian will be the same. Some things are worth fighting for, Leia, no matter the odds.”

Her words haunt me for the rest of the night, and by the time my head hits my pillow, I’m filled with cautious hope.