Sidelined Love: Chapter 19

I stand in front of my bathroom mirror, staring at my reflection with anxiousness and excitement. My fingers hesitantly reach up to the bun that not only keeps my hair off my face but has become a staple in my life. It’s a part of my daily uniform to the extent that it feels odd sometimes when I wear my hair down for bed.

It’s funny how something as simple as a hairstyle can feel so ingrained in your identity. But tonight, I want to do something different. Maybe it’s because of my session with Emily, but I’m feeling a little bit bold.

Slowly, almost ceremoniously, I remove the silk hair tie from my hair. The tension in my head immediately lessens until it’s gone. I watch as my hair cascades down my shoulders in soft brown waves, and I barely recognize the person in the mirror. It has been forever since I last let it hang loose and left the house.

The reflection staring back at me now looks more carefree, unlike the controlled version of myself I’ve presented to the world.

The small change shifts my mindset as I quickly run my brush through it to give it a more polished look. I love the way it looks and wonder why I don’t wear it down more.

Because it’s a piece of your armor, Hailey.

Shaking off the thoughts that are swirling in my head about the step I am taking, I stroll into my bedroom and walk over to the closet. My whole objective is to do something different, a bit daring. I don’t want to think about myself as someone who has abandonment issues and fears that shouldn’t still be a thing, but they are.

My fingers brush against a vibrant red dress. I immediately know it’s not something that I own and suspect Jade must have snuck it in while I was in the shower. It’s a bit daring for me, but also, tonight feels like a night to be daring.

The more I stare at it, the more I realize I actually want to wear it.

As I take the dress off the hanger and slip it on, I can’t help but run my fingers down the fabric. The dress clings to my figure, accentuating curves I usually hide under baggy sweaters and hoodies and jeans. Wearing this is going to be an experience in itself because it is predicted to be chilly tonight, but tonight is all about new experiences.

Plus, the longer I look at the dress, the more my confidence about wearing it tonight grows. It’s strange how a piece of clothing can change your whole mood, but I’ll take what I can get.

“Hailey!” Jade’s voice draws my attention to the door. “You ready?”

“Almost. Be there in a sec!” I call back as I zip the dress up and put on a pair of black boots I’d stuffed in the back of my closet when I moved in.

When I step out into the living room of our shared apartment, Jade is dancing to a song coming from her phone, the pink dress she decided to wear tonight shifting with every movement she makes. I watch her for a few seconds with my arms crossed over my chest, and when she finally sees me, her face lights up like it’s Christmas morning as she stares at my hair. “Look at the stunner that just walked in here. And your hair is actually down, holy fuck.”

“Don’t get used to it. I can easily toss it back up in a bun.”

“Don’t you dare!” Jade exclaims as she takes a step toward me as if she might grab my arms. “If you do, I’m cutting your hands off myself.”

I can’t help but laugh at Jade. “Alright, I won’t put it back up. But only because I know you’d find a way to follow through on that threat.”

“You’re damn right.” Jade grins triumphantly, clearly pleased to have won this small battle. She gives me an approving once-over. “But seriously, you look fantastic.”

“And the same can be said about you. Thanks for leaving your red dress in my closet.”

She flashes me a dazzling smile. “You’re welcome. Let’s finish getting ready.”

We both make our way to our bathroom, where Jade starts rummaging through her makeup bag. “You want to wear eyeshadow, right?”

“Sure, that’s fine,” I say as I watch her remove a compact case with several different colors of eyeshadow included. She carefully applies a brownish shimmery shade to her lids before she looks at me in the mirror.

“I’ve got this. I’ll make sure we both look stunning tonight.”

I’m willing to put my look in Jade’s hands because I trust her completely. Once she finishes applying most of our makeup, she turns to me holding a red lipstick. “This is going to look perfect with that dress.”

I take the lipstick out of her hand, uncap it, and bring the tube to my lips. After I finish putting it on, I can confirm that she’s right. This lipstick looks great with this dress and with my skin tone.

“Okay, I think we’re all set,” Jade says as she takes one final look at herself in the mirror.

“Great. Let me grab my keys, coat, and purse.”

“Okay, I’ll meet you in the living room.”

Both Jade and I leave the bathroom and go our separate ways. I gather the things I need before walking into our living room once more. I say a quick prayer that my coat will keep me mostly warm tonight as Jade joins me and we leave the apartment.

The night air hits us as we step outside, and I shiver in response. Jade tries to talk to me, engaging in small talk, but I’m only half paying attention. My mind is on what tonight will bring and the things I revealed to Emily. It’s all a lot to process, but I’m hoping tonight will give me an opportunity to quiet all of the other noise in my head.

We take a campus-owned bus downtown where a bunch of restaurants and shops are located and walk up to a building with Sapphire Tavern written across the front. We push through the doors of the bar, and I’m impressed by what we see.

As we walk into Sapphire Tavern, I start to understand why it is the new trendy spot in Crestwood. The exterior is sleek and modern, and the words of the bar lit up in neon-blue signage are icing on the cake. The interior of the bar is spacious, bathed in a soothing blue glow from the strategically placed lighting. The walls are adorned with contemporary art pieces, giving an even bigger artistic flair to the space.

The central attraction is the long, polished bar counter, topped with sparkling sapphire-colored tiles that shimmer under the overhead lights. Behind the bar, shelves of assorted liquors create a mesmerizing backdrop. This place is stunning, and I can see why it has become the new it place.

The seating area is a mix of booths and high-top tables, and near the rear of the venue, there is a dance floor if we want to shake our asses. Once again, normally not my vibe, but if I get enough drinks in me, I can be persuaded to do so.

Jade grabs my hand, pulling me toward the bar. “I promised you a few drinks, so this first round is on me!” she shouts over the noise from the music and the talking.

I smile, letting her lead the way. Once we are there, a bartender immediately comes up to us. “What can I get you? And would you like to start a tab?”

“Two Jack and Cokes and yes, please,” Jade calls out to the bartender, who nods and begins mixing our drinks. That drink is my go-to outside of the occasional beer and wine, and I’m not surprised Jade ordered one for herself too.

As we wait, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around, coming face-to-face with Ben, one of my coworkers from Brewed Beginnings.

He grins at me and says, “Hailey, I thought that was you.” His eyes shift from being focused on my hair to my face as his smile widens.

I do a double take, still questioning whether I’m truly seeing him outside of work. Then again, he is more than likely more surprised at seeing me outside of Brewed Beginnings given I rarely go out and party. “Ben! What are you doing here?”

He shrugs, leaning against the bar. “Hanging out with some friends after a long week. You know how it is.”

I nod, understanding the sentiment. “Of course. I’m here with my best friend, Jade. Jade, this is Ben, my coworker.”

Jade waves at Ben, flashing him a bright smile before handing me my drink. Ben nods, acknowledging her presence.

Ben leans in closer and says, “Can I be honest with you?”

I have no idea where this is going, but curiosity gets the best of me. I need to know what he wants to say. “Sure. What’s up?”

“I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit more… distracted this week. Is everything okay?”

I take a sip of my Jack and Coke, letting it coat my throat before responding. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Just a tough week at work and trying to juggle schoolwork, that’s all.”

“I know how that can be. I wanted to ask you how you were while we were at work but didn’t want to make things awkward.”

It is a little bit awkward to be frank, but I don’t want Ben to feel that way. “Thanks, Ben. It means a lot to have you looking out for me.”

“So what tales can both of you tell me about working at Brewed Beginnings?”

I swear I can’t thank Jade enough for being an extrovert because she easily steered what could have been an awkward moment into an opportunity for us to find something else to talk about.

“Marc keeps us all on our toes with his random ideas and demands. Hailey, did you hear what he’s thinking of doing next?” Ben asks as he looks at both Jade and me.

I roll my eyes. “Let me guess, another brewing technique?”

“Even better,” Ben says with a chuckle. “He’s planning on themed days. Like, Mocha Mondays or something.”

Jade raises an eyebrow before taking another sip of her drink. “Sounds… interesting.”

“Yeah, interesting is one word for it,” I reply, dreading this idea with everything in my soul. “He’ll probably make Funky Foam Fridays a thing.”

Ben laughs. “I wouldn’t put it past him. Hey, remember when he tried to introduce that artisan toast thing?”

Ben and I burst into laughter at the memory. “It was a disaster,” I admit. “Burned bread isn’t exactly gourmet.”

Jade chimes in, “But hey, at least it’s never boring with him around although, based on what Hailey has told me, he’s an asshole.”

“You’re putting it mildly,” I say. I start laughing again at the thought of theme days.

We continue to talk among ourselves when suddenly Jade pulls her phone out of her pocket. The slightly puzzled look on her face has me wondering what she’s reading. I lean over and ask her, “Is everything alright?”

It takes a few seconds before she responds. “Um… maybe?”

I share a look with Ben and say, “That’s not convincing.”

“It’s Wilder.”

That is the last thing I expected her to say, but at this point, I’m not shocked. “What did he say? Shouldn’t he be doing something related to hockey right now?”

“They don’t have a game tonight.”

Oops. Guess I haven’t been paying attention to their schedule even though Levi sent me his. I don’t have a reason to.

Regardless, there is still a question I need to find out the answer to. I glance at Ben before I turn back to Jade. “What did he say to put that look on your face?” I ask. Normally I wouldn’t be asking this many questions, but the expression on her face is confusing to say the least.

Instead of replying, Jade looks up and moves her body so that she can look around Ben and toward the front door. It is then that she finally puts me out of my misery. “Levi is here. And he’s staring right at you.”