XIV: When you collide, you catch fire

《 ASPEN GRISWOLD 》

Time stood still. In what could only be a second or two, a million different ways to lose Phoenix flashed in my mind. My blood was rushing in my veins, as all my instincts screamed for me to protect him. But the cloaked figure lifted their hands and stepped back, like I was the volatile one.

“Easy, tiger, that's..” Phoenix seized my arm and pulled it down to my side. He didn't sound terrified, but confused.

The figure pulled down their hood, revealing a beautiful face of a black woman in her 50s. Her hair was braided and she was wearing round glasses, but it was something else that caught my attention. Her eyes. They weren't the eyes of an enemy, but of someone smart and kind and familiar.

“That's Birdy!” Phoenix exclaimed, having an aha-moment like putting a name to the face had taken real consideration. “Najwa's mom.”

“I have heard so much about you that it's almost like I know you already.” Birdy said in lieu of hello, offering her hand to me even though mine were still glowing with my magic.

“How..” I glanced down at her hand and back up to her smiling face. Then I swirled around to Phoenix and demanded: “Why didn't you tell me that she's here too?” Then, softer: “Or did you just find out?”

“No. Yes. Wait, no.” Phoenix was scratching his neck. When he opened his mouth again, I thought he was going to give me an answer that made sense, but instead he yawned.

“How can you —” I started to ask as Birdy explained with a gentle smile on her lips: “We just talked about this last night, actually. Phoenix keeps forgetting about my existence.”

“We did? And I do?” Phoenix marveled. Then he blinked and it was like a light bulb had turned on in his brain. “Oh, yes, you're right.”

“Let's go to the beach. I like it there.” Birdy prompted in a way that made it sound like an order instead of a suggestion. As Phoenix and I rushed after her, I noticed she was no longer wearing the cloak but a simple white dress and her feet were bare. On top of all that, she was pocket sized like Najwa, no taller than 5 '0. How could I ever have thought her dangerous?

We sat on the beach, and the second I settled on the sand, Phoenix plopped his head on my lap. My face heated up and I gaped down at him, scandalized, but Phoenix just patted his eyes. Birdy smiled and shrugged, then crossed her ankles in front of her on the sand like nothing out of the ordinary was happening right next to her.

“You didn't kiss me, so the least you can do is to be my pillow.” Phoenix muttered under his breath, letting his eyes flutter shut. Then he cautioned, just loud enough for me to hear: “Don't let me fall asleep, I want that kiss before you go anywhere.”

“Fine.” I gave in, but Phoenix's breathing had already turned deeper and more relaxed. The only thing that was missing was him starting to snore. I lifted my head to look at Birdy. “Should I wake him up or..?”

“Let him rest for a while.” Birdy murmured, an amused smile on her lips as she gazed at Phoenix. Then, she clasped her hands on top of her knee, and prompted me: “So, how are you holding up with everything?”

“I..” The question caught me off guard, and I stopped myself before telling her I was fine. The expression on Birdy's face told me she wanted to know the truth and not just being polite. And even though I barely knew her, I was compelled to tell her everything. “It's been tough. Thinking he was gone for good and having to live with knowing it was all my fault..”

“I imagine it wouldn't help if I told you that you can let the guilt go?” Birdy mused, and then went on without waiting for an answer: “Have you ever wondered why you and Phoenix, a stranger you had never met, got your powers at the same time? Or what could you have done differently to avoid causing Gold fever?”

“I don't know.” I looked down at Phoenix's sleeping face. If his magic hadn't erased money, would I still live an ordinary life with ordinary problems? Would Liz still be my girlfriend and soccer the center of my life? The thought didn't fill me with bitterness or anger, but unease.

Guilt wasn't so easily subdued. Birdy could say all she wanted, but it wouldn't erase the stone-cold fact that I caused Gold fever.

“Alright then.” Birdy gave her head a slight nod, acknowledging how I felt. "Do you want to know what I think? I think that you're the gasoline and Phoenix is the spark. When you collide, you catch fire.”

“So.. we’re dangerous when we're together?” How was that supposed to make me feel better? I draped my arm over Phoenix's chest, afraid that any moment Birdy was going to tell me she was going to take him away from me.

“By all means, no.” Birdy shook her head, a small smile on her lips. “I've been here too long and I'm getting rusty. What I meant to say is that this isn't all on you. Not catching the fire and certainly not extinguishing it. And even though Phoenix doesn't always make it sound that way, he's gonna fight tooth and nail to fix this mess.”

“I know.” I agreed, a smile tucking at the corners of my mouth as I pushed a lock of golden hair behind Phoenix's ear. I could feel Birdy's eyes on us and I let my hand drop. Just to have something to say, I blurted out: “None of them wants to return the money. At least they never talk about it.”

“Well, that doesn't surprise me.” Birdy laughed and pressed her palm over her chest, as if the thought of it filled her with joy. I liked her already, it was impossible not to. Somehow, in the middle of everything, she could keep her head cool and find joy from unexpected places. “But they will, if only to clear Phoenix's name.”

Birdy and I talked about everything from Phoenix and Najwa to our dreams before The After. Our words flowed with ease, like two old friends catching up. Anyway, we didn't just chitchat; Birdy explained to me everything she had learned about the dreamscape, and we debated what it meant that Phoenix's body had been warm on the real side.

I was almost sorry when we had to finish the conversation and wake Phoenix up, but less so when Phoenix rubbed at his eyes and muttered under his breath about missing out on our collective time. When he sat up, I stretched out my legs.

“I need to flex my legs too. I might even go for a walk.” Birdy announced with a sing-song voice and hopped up from the sand. She added with an innocent smile: “So, you two feel free to continue where you left off.”

I choked on my saliva and had to cough my windpipe clear as I recovered from the realization that Birdy had seen Phoenix and me when we were about to kiss. I had a feeling that she wouldn't judge us, but having been seen was still confusing and made things awkward. At least for me, as Phoenix was grinning and nodding his head in agreement.

“Can we please just kiss already?” Phoenix demanded as soon as Birdy had left and I could feel laughter bubbling up my throat.

“Yes.” I circled my arm around Phoenix's waist and pulled him closer. When our lips met and his mouth worked me into oblivion, I forgot every single thought and worry residing in my brain.

“You’re good at this.” Phoenix murmured, breathless.

Emboldened by the praise, I keeled over onto my back and he followed me, never once breaking the kiss. The solid weight of his body pinning me to the ground and the taste of his lips; my hands sliding along his skin, felt like the most natural thing in a world where little made sense anymore.

I had to get Phoenix back to the real side, so that I didn't have to spend time apart from him. So that I could stop losing my breath over the possibility of it never happening. I didn't want to wake up in the heart of a night covered in cold sweat and panicking over the notion that I might not be able to return to this place ever again.

My thoughts came to an abrupt halt, when Phoenix bit my lower lip. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to bring me back to the present. I gasped and blinked my eyes at him, confused as ever, and he complained: “We're literally kissing and you still aren't paying attention to me.”

“So this is how it's going to be from now on?” My teasing smile turned to a grin as Phoenix made a face.

“I am very affectionate, I can't help it.” He pointed out and I chuckled when I pulled him in for another kiss.

We only stopped when my lips were swollen and even then Phoenix remained glued to my side as we laid on the warm sand. I had my arm draped around his lower back, keeping him close, and it was the most natural thing. Gasoline and spark or not, we made sense.

It was way too soon when the beach began to waver around me and I regained my knowledge of the chilly room I was sleeping in.

“I think I'm waking up.” I sighed. It made Phoenix prop himself on his elbows to look at me. “We won't be gone for more than a week or two, so I'll be back in no time. I promise.”

“It's just a day or two in here. I think I'll be fine.” Phoenix reminded me and I wasn't sure if he was reassuring himself or me. “Just.. be careful, okay? I'll be pissed as fuck if anything happens to you or Rain.”

“Yes, I know. I'll take good care of us.” I agreed and Phoenix leaned in to kiss me again, but I was back in the cottage just as our lips brushed together. I groaned and raked my fingers through my hair; I had wanted just one more kiss to help me through the week I had to spend away from him.