Chapter 66

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT. PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU'RE UNDERAGED OR IF YOU DON'T LIKE. 😭

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Shen Nuo did not remember much of their play at the lake. He must have fainted several times. His dazed conciousness slowly scattered. He did not know how many hours he spent entangling with Li Yan in the lake this way.

When he forcefully gathered his senses, he wasn't in the lake. Li Yan had brought him into a nearby cave it seems. He was lying on the stony floor, weakly. Li Yan was still pressing down on him. He was still inside him, but he did not move.

Outside the cave, thunders smote amid a heavy storm. And the rain lashed down in a heavy downpour. By and then, the entire Mirror Mountains lighted up in ghostly flashes of white when the lightnings flashed, tearing the night's darkness away.

Shen Nuo felt his head spinning. The strong smell of sandalwood was making him hazy and drunk. His entire body ached. Specially his waist.

He weakly removed the laces that was already out of place on his face. It was wet with rain water and his tears. Li Yan looked at him quietly. "Awake?" He asked in a hoarse voice.

Shen Nuo stared at those beautiful phoenix eyes that were red at the ends. The golden pupils were beautiful than the black orbs Li Yan once used to have. White hair looked better for him than the usual raven hair too. He looked a thousand times handsome this way. His dimples that deepened when ever he talked or smiled were now drowned into the gloomy shadows of the cave.

Shen Nuo slowly raised his fingertips and brushed Li Yan's long lashes with a weak smile. Li Yan grasped from his wrist gently, but firmly and kissed those fingertips will full of love revealed. "Xiao Nuo... Did I hurt you?"

Shen Nuo shook his head weakly. "It hurts..."

Li Yan looked even lost. "I - "

"But I like it..." Shen Nuo slowly wrapped his arms around Li Yan's waist. "Everything that you give me, I will like them all." He smiled.

Li Yan pursed his lips. "Do I look like a monster? Are you doing this because you're scared of me?"

Shen Nuo shut his eyes. "There was a time I was scared of you. I used to shiver just by the sight of you. Those days, you were no less worse. You immediately want to execute me on the spot whenever you see me, didn't you? How can I not be scared?"

"Are you talking about the days I gave you blood promise?"

"Yes." Shen Nuo said in a lame voice. "You really were like a monster." He laughed gently. "Then in this life, when I slowly recovered the memories of my previous life and remembered what I've forgotten, I saw your soft and protective side, when ever you taught me in disguise. I saw your weak side, everytime you silently shed tears infront of the graves of your family. You would only wear that cold and demonic mask when you're the Emperor. Those days I did not know anything, Li Yan, I only blindly loved you. Every time I see you silently cry infront of the graves of your family members, I only wanted to console you. I did not understand why you chased me away with red eyes. You never told me why. You never told me that the reason for their death was my father..."

Li Yan did not speak. His face looked grave. Shen Nuo looked at Li Yan with eyes full of pain.

"Li Yan, I had wanted to ask you something since several days. Why didn't you kill my father?"

Li Yan's eyes were fixed at him. "Do you want to hear the truth or the lie?"

"Li Yan... stop messing around."

"First reason, I really cannot do anything about it. Your father had won numerous battles and had won the heart of the people. Besides, he had some several powerful ministers under his control. If I do something rash, they can rebel anytime."

Shen Nuo nodded closing his eyes. "The second reason?"

Li Yan tightened his jaws. "The second reason is, in this life, I never wanted to kill your father."

Shen Nuo opened his eyes in shock. "He killed all your family and you still spared him?"

Li Yan sighed. "You used to love your father very much. If I kill him, you'll be sad. Besides, I didn't want to give you the pain that your father once gave me."

Shen Nuo couldn't believe that he heard. In his eyes were shock and incredulous disbelief. "Liar! Only that? You just ignored a capital crime and spared a murderer only because I'll be sad?"

Li Yan cupped Shen Nuo's tear stained face in his long slender palms. "Do you know the thing I hate the most in this world? It's to see you cry in pain. It's to see tears in your eyes."

He slowly pressed his forehead against Shen Nuo's forehead. "I had never wanted you to cry, Nuo Nuo, I grew up all alone. I didn't have friends to play with. I didn't have mother to love me. My father just used me to save his own life. So I might not know how to show my love or care. I might not know how to show my affection. The more I try to calm you down, the more I anger you and make you cry." Their nose tips met and gently brushed against each other. "But it hurts... It hurts everytime so much. I wanted to say sorry. But I was afraid it would make you even angry."

Shen Nuo lowered his eyes. His lashes trembled convulsively. "You thought I would hate you if you kill my father for those crimes?"

Li Yan didn't move his eyes from him. "After all, didn't you hate me for ten years in your last life for killing him?"

Shen Nuo was silent for a long time. "You didn't tell me anything back then." He said in a shaken voice. "You didn't even care to tell me in this life. How on earth am I suppose to know?"

Li Yan burrowed his face into Shen Nuo's neck, causing Shen Nuo to throw his head back and gasp. His moist eyes unfocussed again.

Li Yan kissed him softly and brushed his lips against the reddened skin. "I didn't want your father to be a criminal. Maybe if I hadn't fallen for you, maybe if I don't know you, I would have easily restrained him down."

Shen Nuo did not know what to say. "So you did it everything silently for me?"

"I would do anything to keep you safe and alive. I may not be able to make you happy in my dumbness. So I'll be contented as long as you're safe."

Shen Nuo rubbed his fingertips through Li Yan's wet hair. Their bodies were scorching hot. Shen Nuo shuddered when Li Yan moved a bit. "Li Yan..."

"Hmm?"

"From now onwards, no matter what, if you have any problem, you can share it with me. I will be your listener."

"..."

"If you feel lonely and isolated, you can come to me. I'll be your friend."

"..."

If you feel tired after working, you can come to me. Li Yan, I will be your wife." Shen Nuo cupped Li Yan's face in his little palms, raised himself from the elbows weakly and kissed the mole between Li Yan's brows, gently sucking on it.

Li Yan trembled. He pushed Shen Nuo down the floor and looked at his eyes. "You must also promise me. Promise me you would never look at another person as long as I'm alive."

"For this lifetime." Shen Nuo said softly. "I'm already your wife. I naturally won't go after someone."

Li Yan looked lost. "Then Zhanhua..."

Shen Nuo laughed hoarsely. That voice was low as he whispered. "I told you once, Zhanhua is only like a brother to me."

Li Yan didn't believe it. "Which brother would help you off your heat?"

Shen Nuo shook his head. "It was me who threatened him. You must know what happens to gers when they are in their heat if they don't get any consolation. I was muddle headed. He only did what I asked him to do, thinking it would help me."

"Then, do you really consider him only as a brother?"

"He used to look after me and help me from bullies when we were learning together at the academy. When he was yet a student, sometimes he would visit our home to study together with my brothers. He used to babysit me for hours when my parents aren't at home. We had played together for years. So of course I treat him as a childhood friend. Nothing more. As for you, you're my husband. I might have ignored you before. I know I was wrong. I'm only sixteen. I didn't take anything too much seriously. I only wanted to mess around."

"Then you better grow up now." Li Yan whispered. "We had already come this far. What is there more for us to do? You're not a child anymore."

Shen Nuo shut his eyes weakly. "I will." He said in a hoarse whisper. "But you must also promise me one thing."

"What is it?"

"From now onwards, there mustn't be secrets between us. You must speak out all your worries with me."

Li Yan's eyes slowly drew blood red. He gritted his teeth. "I will..." He said in a hoarse voice and tightened his jaws. Shen Nuo nodded with a smile and wrapped his weak legs around Li Yan's waist again. The meaning was obvious.

Li Yan silently started moving again and Shen Nuo closed his eyes, trying to muffle his ragged breaths.

Li Yan proceeded, his movements becoming fierce and hard with every move. Now and then, soundless lightnings flashed outside the cave, brightening the darkening sky. Rain lashed down with a heavy downpour amid the burst of ear deafening thunders.

But Shen Nuo heard nothing of it at all. He only heard the sound of heavy scattered breaths closer to him. He only heard the low moans that escaped his own lips. He only saw the blurry sight of Li Yan moving above him, casting giant moving shadows upon the cold rock walls of the cave as lightnings flashed.

Sweat poured down Shen Nuo's pale face. The pain stabbed him like a sharp sword ripping his insides but it was also pleasure. He couldn't take it anymore. His hands grasped onto the hard stony floor as tears seethed down the corners of his tightened eyes. His lashes trembled. He furiously bit his lower lip to muffle the moans that escaped his lips.

But Li Yan grasped from his trembling hands and intertwined his fingers with Shen Nuo, pressing Shen Nuo down further against the floor.

Li Yan did him until he screamed and then until he cried. It was pain but also pleasure. Shen Nuo was afraid but still craved for more. "Faster..." That voice was very hoarse. Li Yan kissed him furiously and drew his lips away, his eyes darkening.

"Call my name!"

"Li Yan..."

"Again!"

"Li Yan..."

"Again!"

"LI YAN!!!" Shen Nuo screamed hoarsely and came all over Li Yan's lower abdomen. But Li Yan did not let him rest. After thrusting in and out deeply for a dozen times, Li Yan also released inside him again.

Shen Nuo gasped hoarsely. Tears repeatedly left his eyes. That cold night, after seven hours of continuous play, Li Yan vented over for all the lonesome years he had to sustain because of Shen Nuo.

Li Yan tried to pull out. But Shen Nuo grasped from his wrist. His eyes were misty and red from crying. His pale cheeks flushed with a faint red blush was wet with scorching tears.

"Don't..." He whispered, weakly hugging him with shuddering arms. "Don't pull out. I... I want you inside me as long as we can, I- ummmmmh -!!!"

Li Yan did not let him finish and covered his trembling lips in his. He kissed Shen Nuo for a long time, deeply but carefully, pausing at intervals to let Shen Nuo get hold on his loosing breath.

Neither of them had the thought of stopping. They did not speak. So inside that gloomy cave, they kissed each other deeply and passionately for a long time. Shen Nuo was breathing hard when Li Yan finally let go of his lips.

"Li Yan..." Shen Nuo whispered softly amid his scattered breaths. His eyes were hazy and half closed. But that voice was full of love and emotion.

Li Yan didn't say anything. He simply pressed his wet forehead against Shen Nuo's forehead and shut his eyes that were full of tears. He did not speak words of love to the person who was lying beneath him. But the tears that left his closed eyes betrayed him. His powerful but messy heartbeat that was pressed hard against Shen Nuo's chest betrayed him.

"Li Yan..."

"Hmm?"

"Are you happy?"

Li Yan was silent for a long time. Shen Nuo weakly cupped Li Yan's face in his hands. "Li Yan?"

Li Yan let out a deep sigh. "Yes, I'm happy."

"No. You're lying. You're not happy."  Shen Nuo stammered hoarsely. "What exactly are you hiding from me?"

Li Yan wrapped his palm around Shen Nuo's nape and gently sucked those pink lips and carefully flipped to the side, pulling Shen Nuo onto him without hurting him. "Be good. I've already promised you. I won't lie. Now sleep."

Shen Nuo's eye lids were drooping in his tiredness. He obediently nodded and fixed himself into a comfortable position on Li Yan's body and quickly felled asleep. He did not hear or feel what happened afterwards.

But scorching tears streamed down Li Yan's golden eyes. They slowly deepened into it's usual orbs of black. The silvery totem of them the lightning disappeared between his brows. Only he knew what this hour means to him...

He did Shen Nuo. He made their relationship permanent. If Shen Nuo gets pregnant, will Li Yan ever have the luck to watch his child grow? And one day if he die, what will happen to Shen Nuo? He did not know. His heart ached so much at this thought.

Considering his current situation, he wasn't sure if he could live for another one year more. He hadn't told about this matter to Shen Nuo. But - their souls were bounded with blood promise.

If one day he should die, Shen Nuo would also definitely die... But he did not want to. So he slowly locked his lips with sleeping Shen Nuo without waking him and kissed him deeply again.

Their tongues met and intertwined. Shen Nuo in his sleep subconsciously responded him just like he did five years ago, when he was only eleven years old.

Back then, he locked his lips with Shen Nuo, as an eternal promise to keep him safe through blood promise. But tonight, Li Yan locked his lips with him again and quietly withdrew back his blood promise also for the sake of that person's safety. How sarcastic...

"Nuo Nuo..." He whispered hoarsely. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lying just this once, ok?" He hugged the sleeping person into his arms and closed his eyes. Painful tears left the end of his trembling lashes and slowly slid down to the sides...

But he wasn't the only person whose heart was in a mess.

Outside the cave, amid the rainstorm and thunders, Shendu stood with a pale face. He slowly bent down and picked up a scroll on the stones by the lake with a pale hand. This scroll was left by the Emperor, carelessly on the wet stony floor. And this scroll held arts with powers to destroy an Empire just within few seconds. Shendu's fingertips slightly shuddered. He pursed his lips and tightened his jaws.

"Li Yan... I'm sorry..."

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Don't comment if you are shy! 😅😆 I had to hide inside a store room for half an hour to end this. 😭