chapter 35

"Zuban se maaf ker dia h humne

Dil se maaf karne mein waqt lagega "

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Chandni pov-

Happy Diwali Red.........it's our first diwali together........., he said and gently put his hand on back of my head and looked into my eyes he came little closer to me then put his lips on my forehead.

He remained his lips for sometime there feeling his lips on my forehead i fisted his kurta in my fist and closed my eyes.

i don't when and why my tears started flowing from my eyes .

why are you crying ?........, he asked and listening him i opened my eyes to look at him.

I didn't say anything and just held his hand gently removed it from back of head and distanced myself from him i was about to leave from there when he again held my wrist.

You didn't wished me......., he said softly while holding my hand.

Happy Diwali..........Mr. Rathore......., i said slowly without looking at him tried to remove my hand from his grip but he didn't lossend his grip.

Chor_iye mer_a ha_th........, i said and stopped trying to remove my hands from his grip when i realised that there's no use.

First listen to me......., he said and suddenly he pulled me towards himself and caged me between his arms, to balance myself and to keep some distance between us, i placed my hand on his chest and looked at him in shock beacuse of his this action.

You're ignoring me.........., he said slowly but i diverted my eyes from him and looked at Kurta's button.

I am not....... and let me go please...., i said and don't why my voice came very softly and tried to push him putting my hands on his chest.

You're ......, he again said that which still gently holding me in my arm's.

Humari baatein hi nahi hoti .....and even i am this i don't think .........we're not that close that it would make any difference to you if I ignore you.........., i said and looked at him who became silent and did not even said anything.

Ek baat puchu ?........., i said after few seconds of silence

Hmmm ........ he said and nodded.

You came home so late to avoid me ............ even few day's before you can't tolerate my mere presence around yourself...........ab phir aisa kya hogya?...............is this beacuse you are feeling guilty?......, i said without looking at him and felt his group losing around myself.

I looked into his eyes when i felt his grip on me loosening and when he didn't say anything i distanced myself from him.

It's a guilt only......., i thought and with great difficulty stopped my tears flowing out of my eyes and left his room.

I went to my room and closed the door behind and sat on the bed and let my tears flow.

In my life why can't everything be right and easy for me ......

i had earlier thought that i would not have any expectations from him regarding our relationship.......then why i am now want....... that whatever I feel for him, he should also feel it for me..........,

Whatever courage I had gathered to stay away from him in these two days, he again wasted it.....all my efforts go astray ......

Feeling him closer to me my heart started beating faster......... at the same time ye jo mera bewakoof sa dil h sent me reminder that........ chandni Sharma is in love with Abeer Singh Rathore.........

Thinking all this, I took off my dupatta, kept it aside and lay down on the bed i closed my eyes and tried to control my emotions.

And a few seconds later I heard a knock on my door immediately i opened my eyes and sat on the bed.

I wiped my tears and again heard the knock I took the dupatta put around myself and went to open the door.

When I opened the door of the room finding him standing infront of the door i was about to close the door of my room when he stopped me from closing the door while putting his hand on the door.

Author

Chandni left that door open and entered the room she stood back facing him and take deep breath to relax his nerves and heart.

Her breathing quicken when she heard the door closing sound and she flinched in my place.

She slowly turn to look at him and saw abeer taking a step towards her at the sight of this chandni again turned her face to the other side and without thinking anything she stood in front of the mirror to avoid abeer with her trembling hands she started removing her earnings while looking in the mirror.

Chandni blinked her eyes several times and felt her heart was started beating loudly in her chest when she heard his footsteps approaching her.

Chandni breath stuck in her throat when she looked in the mirror and find him standing behind herself.

without paining attention to him chandni tried to remove her earings but in nervousness she pulled the hook of the earring which was attached to her hair and she felt severe pain in her ears and head.

Abeer without saying anything just kept looking her unsuccessfully process of ignoring him but he immediately reacted when he heard her pained voice and placed the thing he had in his hand on the vanity.

Aaram se...., he said and placed his hand on her hand and when chandni felt Abeer's hand on her hand, she immediately removed it.

Without saying Abeer started removing her earrings that were stuck in my hair after few seconds of struggle he successfully removed it then put that on the venity while chandni just kept looking at him in the mirror.

Abeer looked in the mirror and their eyes met without breaking eye contact abeer forwarded his hands and started gently moving her hair to one side.

Chandni clutched her lehnga in her fist when she felt his hot breath on her neck and closed her eyes for second when she felt abeer finger brushing on side of her neck in a process.

Abeer slowly put her all hair's on the right side ,slowly and carefully removed her earring and put that on venity and without breaking eye contact he took a one step back.

Before chandni could react she found myself in the air and realized that he had taken her in his arms in bridal style.

Aap kya ker rahe h?............, Chandni said in whisper and abeer just looked at her with soft eyes.

Abeer did not answer her question and started walking towards bed and made her sit on the bed.

When Abeer placed her on the bed at the same time chandni dupatta fell down from one shoulder.

Since she was wearing sleeveless, she immediately placed the dupatta on her shoulder and lowered her eyelashes feeling awkward.

Abeer who's just saw that and how awkward she was he immediately looked away and went towards the vanity where he had kept something and come back with that in his hand.

He cleared his throat then looked at her then sit infront of the bed Abeer forwarded that to her and told her with his eyes to take that.

Open it......., abeer said and chandni  took it from his hand and started opening it.

When Chandni opened the gift, she saw that it was the same novel that she wanted to read because one day she had heard the poetry from that novel on kdrama.

Form that day chandni had search many book stores, online and libraries to read that book but she could not find that book and at last came to know that that book has not been printed in English and Hindi languages.

Chandni opened the book with a excitement and saw that it was written in English.

This novel ....... I know till date this novel is not printed in English.....aap ko kaha se mili ?......aur aapko kaise pata ki mujhe ye novel padhni thi?......., chandni asked in excitement while turning the page and sometime looking at the book cover.

I accidentally overheard you when you were talking to Aditi and Ahana about this novel so get to know this....and yes till date this book has not been printed in english ......but i got this book printed in english for y........, abeer said and went silent for second when he was about to say that "for you" while chandni looked at him.

Hmm........open the front page there's also author's signature....., abeer said while composing himself and opened the front page of the book.

Chandni went into shock as she heard this and saw the author's signature on the front page because she knew that it was not easy task as she has searched about that writer and got to know that she is very famous in the world.

Abeer looked at Chandni and get little satisfaction that this time she might be not reject his gift and he took a deep breath looking at her who's just lost in that book.

Red..........meri baat sunein.........., Abeer said while took the book from Chandni's hand and placed it on the side of the bed he slowly took her hand in his hands which was placed on her knees.

You know before the day we got married accidentally, maa and my family they were persuading me to get married........but never wanted to get married so like always i flatly refused........., abeer said looking at chandni who is looking at him with shock but she relaxes when Abeer starts caressing her hands in circular motion with his thumb.

I don't believed in this marriage things....... but also knew that one day I will have to marry someone but never thought like it happened to us......., abeer said slowly started removing her bangles and putting them on the bed.

Chandni didn't utter a word just kept looking and listening to him and let him do whatever he was doing.

You were only 18th when we accidentally got married.......i just want you to rethink again about this relationship........., abeer said while saying half the words, he stops and takes a deep breath and then speaks further.

Don't keep this marriage because you just have to do it or we are bounded in this marriage.....you know at some point of time everyone gets bored with every relationship even if they bounded in the relation by there own will and here our relationship is bound by force......., abeer said while still removing her bangles which remained in her hand.

Few minutes before  you asked me that i used to avoid you before ..........par phir ab aisa kya hogya?....., abeer said looking at her and stopped removing her bangles.

I will not say that i started liking you or describe my feelings with the word "LOVE".....Because I don't believe in love and all that stuff ..........  haa bas itna jaanta hu jo kuch bhi aapke liye mehsoos Karta hu woo khaash h........., abeer said while looking at Chandni with intensity in his eyes and when chandni can't able to take his gaze which was looking at her this intensity she looked in the other direction and little shifted at her place.

Abeer removed all the bangles from one hand of Chandni then he took Chandni's other hand in his hands and started removing the bangles from that hand too.

I just want to say that give me sometime to accept all this hmmm? ........., abeer said and after listening all that chandni felt like crying but she controlled herself a lot so that she did not end up crying in front of him.

It's to late........aap jaye yahan se ........,chandni said and immediately released her hand from Abeer's grip and started looking in the other direction.

Abeer didn't said anything he just hummed in response and got up from the bed and went away from there.

Chandni pov-

Ajeeb baat h .....

Ishq ki bimari h jinki wajah se bekhabar h woo Shakhs abhi in Ishq ki gaaliyo se.........

(AN)

He doesn't believe in love........

I murmured to myself while looking at closed door from where he went out and again my tears started flowing.

I wiped my tears with back of my hand and picked all the bangles which he had kept on the bed then placed them on the night stand with the novel he brought for me.

I took my diary and pen from the drawer of the night stand like always i started writing my feeling on my diary which i feels for him but can never able to tell him.

He is like a poetry....

Which I want to read...

He is like a art..

Which i want to see...

He is like a my favourite music.....

Which I want to listen .....

He is like flower....

Which I want to smell...

He is like a colour....

In which i want to paint my self.....

He is like "MINE"....

To whom I want claim my infront

of the whole world....

He is like word "LOVE"....

From year's which i craving to whisper softly in his ear.

He is the only "PERSON"......

I would like to hold close to me forever in my arm's.

Chandni ♡

(AN)

Sometimes instead of writing all this, I want to say all this to him what do i feel for him but.......naa hi wo samjh sakte h aur na hi mei keh sakti .

With that thought i closed the diary and kept my diary and pen on the bed i took grandma's photo frame from the night stand and lay down on the bed while hugging her photo.

Author

After freshing up and changing his clothes abeer went out from the washroom and went towards his bed and after switching of the lights he led down on my bed.

Abeer tried many times to sleep but sleep was for away from him he kept tossing turning on the able but can't able.

And last night, abeer stood up from the bed while taking the phone from the night stand, he come out of his room and went towards the room of the person who's the reason of his condition.

Abeer stands in front of the chandni room door and thinks for sometime whether he should go inside or not at this time.

She must be sleeping....... and also it's not right to go to someone's room this late at night......., abeer though looking at the closed door.

She is not someone...... she is your wife you can go....., abeer subconscious mind said to him.

Yes she is m_y wi_fe .....but that doesn't mean i can just entered in her room......, abeer said to his subconscious mind.

But he also knows if he will not saw her he will going to feeling restless and awake all night after debating with his mind abeer finally knocks on the door but the door opens softly on its own.

Abeer enters Chandni's room and locks the door behind silently without making any noise.

Abeer looks towards the bed and saw  Chandni is sleeping there Abeer slowly goes towards the bed.

She didn't even changed her dress....., abeer said looking at her sleeping figure but then something caught Abeer attention.

Abeer's looked at the frame which was Chandni was hugging in her deep sleep.

Abeer sits on the bed beside her sleeping figure and without disturbing her sleep he slowly takes out the frame from chandni's hand after seeing it once, he keep it on the night stand.

Unknowingly Abeer forwarded his hands towards chandni face and removes her hair strands from her face then tucked them behind her ear and kissed her forehead.

Abeer retreated back from her when he heard something which made him shock.

Mr Rathore ...I lov_e you....., she said in sleepy voice while i saw her eyes were still closed.

She loves me ?........., abeer murmured while looking at her sleeping figure in shock.

"Khud se hi ker ke guftagu,

Koi kaise jiye, Ishq to lazmi sa h,

Zindagi ke liye"

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Byeee byeeeeeee 👋

Your writer

AN