32: Words Alone Couldn't Convey

"A sweet tooth, for you! I'm wide awake!" The ride to Sam's house on Friday was filled with the usual flirting and listening to music. Or perhaps it was better to say, listening to Sam sing very poorly to the music. He was so tone deaf it was hysterical. Yet he never seemed to shy away from enjoying himself in front of me, no matter how hard I laughed at him.

"My ears are going to start bleeding." I exaggerated, trying but failing to bite back my grin.

"What was that?" Sam pretended to mishear me. "I'm not loud enough?"

"Dear god, free me!" I moved to try to open the door.

"Jokes on you, it's locked."

He then proceeded to serenade me the rest of the way back to his house. When we got there we went inside like always, our actions extremely practiced at this point. While Sam was locking the door, I went into the living room and laid down on the couch as if I lived there.

A moment later and Sam was peering over the back of the couch to look down at me. "You might as well move in."

"It wouldn't change much about how we've been living recently." I snorted, opening my phone and scrolling through my dry social media. For once, there was actually something there to catch my eye. Dennis, Caden, and Brian had all followed me on Instagram.

"Scoot over." Sam tapped my foot.

I did not scoot over, opting to ignore him as I opened up the different accounts to see what sort of stuff they posted. It was mostly pictures of them together, football photos. Dennis had quite a lot of posts of beer bottles or what could only be described as thirst traps. My face unintentionally contorted into disgust.

When I didn't listen to him, Sam took it upon himself to do as he pleased. He gathered both of my legs into his arms, and lifted them up so that he could sit down. Then he put them in his lap. Once he was finished, he cast me a neglected look. "What are you looking at?"

"Your friends followed me on Instagram." I told him.

"You're truly apart of the group." He enthusiastically declared. "It makes me really happy."

"Dennis' page is nauseating. The sheer amount of shirtless pictures on there should have his account banned. And is that a picture of hickeys on his neck? I think I need to bleach my eyes." I looked up at Sam, frowning.

He laughed. "What can I say, he's unashamed of being himself."

"Maybe he should hold a little bit of shame. What if his family found these?"

Sam thought about it. "I don't think they'd ever see them. And if they did, I don't think it'd change much about their relationship."

I obviously had no idea what that meant. I didn't know much about Dennis other than the fact that he was also extremely rich. It was easy to make assumptions about his home life based off of his personality and commitment issues, but I wasn't going to ask. That was Dennis' business.

"He's still pretty adamant about us going to Chloe's party tomorrow." Sam changed the subject a bit, biting his lip as he waited for my thoughts.

I put my phone flat against my chest and cast my eyes to the ceiling. "Do you want to go?"

"I don't know." He admitted. "She's so... difficult. I want to have fun, but I don't like the idea of giving her room to cause more problems. How do you feel about it?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think she bothered Millie and you more than she bothered me. And it seems unlikely that she'll reoffend if everyone is already so upset over her actions."

"So you want to go?"

"It's up to you. If you want to, I'm alright with that. If you would rather stay away, then that's okay too." The more time passed since Chloe was so close to me, the less horrible I felt about it. Judging by the way she had also been treating Jocelyn recently, I was under the impression that she had a lot of problems of her own. It wasn't my job to decipher the root of everyone's actions, nor was it my responsibility to try to find an easy solution to everything. All I could do was hope to move forward with some level of normalcy.

Sam sighed, grabbing my phone and putting it onto the coffee table. Then he climbed out from under my legs to snuggle into my side. His ear to my heart, and his hand playing with the hem of my shirt. "Dennis and Cade really want to go. Brian will do whatever Cade does."

"Millie will do whatever I do. Even if she's angry at Chloe." I added.

"So maybe I should relent and just go." His curls tickled my chin as he made himself comfortable, and the warmth of his body on top of mine made my face softly flush. I couldn't imagine how hard his friends would laugh at him if they saw how he acted when we were alone. Dennis would probably be rolling on the floor hysterical.

I tried to ignore the urge to laugh at my thoughts. "We don't have to stay for too long if something happens."

"True." He propped his head up so that we could look at each other's faces. "Maybe you can come home with me after."

He had a wicked smile on his face, and I rolled my eyes. But I was blushing, which was impossible to hide with how close we were. There was a clear implication behind his words that made me feel restless. Obviously we already went all the way, so it wasn't like there was anything to be shy about now. However, I just wasn't built for this kind of flirting. Sam was significantly better at it than me.

"I don't know about that." I plainly replied.

"You know you want to." He placed a soft kiss to my lips, and then sat up. "Want to watch a movie?"

Flustered but unwilling to admit it, I sat up as well. He was going to drive me to insanity, and I wasn't even sure if he was trying to. Clearing my throat, I shrugged. "Sure."

Sam seemed to already know exactly what he wanted, because his whole face lit up like a sunrise as he excitedly picked up the remote. "Have you ever seen any of The Lord of the Rings?"

"No." I shook my head.

He gasped. "Then we have to watch them! Or maybe we should start with The Hobbit?"

"I've not seen any of them." I had a vague idea of what The Lord of the Rings was about, but it was only surface level knowledge. Whatever Sam was rambling about was beyond me.

"How about we start with The Hobbit trilogy, since it's a great introduction to the story. Plus it's pretty funny, which makes it more enjoyable as a starting point." He decided, and I just smiled. I liked seeing him so worked up over what he loved, and while I wasn't really a fantasy fan, I was perfectly willing to learn more about his passions.

"Sounds good to me."

We spent the late afternoon curled up on the couch watching The Hobbit, laughing at the jokes. It felt domestic — it felt human. I found myself loving the movie much more than I anticipated. It was like loving Sam.

•O•O•

The following day we spent making out for a while, and then we decided to watch the next installment in the series. By the time the film was coming to a close, we were both worked up over the plot.

"I thought this movie was about Smaug?" I scoffed. "Shouldn't he be killed within this movie?"

The entire time we were watching, Sam made it appoint to study my expressions from time to time. Like he was desperate to know how I felt about the movies, and if I was enjoying myself even half as much as he was. To be honest, this was not really the type of movie I would go out of my way to watch normally. The quality was phenomenal, but I was much more used to grainy classics with little-to-no special effects. That wasn't to say that I didn't like them, since they had plenty of charm to them.

It gave me a lot of insight into Sam that words alone couldn't convey. Sort of like how Millie's obsession with 80s romances gave away a lot about her.

"To be fair, it's the Hollywood obsession with cliffhangers." Sam replied.

I opened my mouth to say something else, but then there was a loud doorbell chime to pull my thoughts away. Was it really that late already? I glanced out the window only to realize that it was almost fully dark out. I didn't even notice the time go by after spending so long with Sam. We were so cliché it was making me nauseous.

Sam groaned as he moved away from me, annoyed by his friend's sudden appearance. The credits rolled as he unenthusiastically stood up and shuffled his way to the front door. I immediately pushed down my smile and any indication that I was having a great time, back to pretending that Sam made me miserable. Acting miserable was the easy part — it was like second nature to me. However, it wasn't so easy to pin the blame on Sam anymore.

I made myself comfortable, but not too comfortable, and opened my phone up to make it seem like I was doing something. In walked a group of rowdy teenagers, eager to get on with the night. Unlike them, I was not so excited. If the last party we went to was any indication of how our night may go, I wasn't too thrilled to let it play out. Caden and Brian got into that fight. Millie threw up all over her bedroom. Chloe made me uncomfortable. I guess Dennis was the only one who got what they wanted out of that night.

"Hey, Sawyer!" Caden's chipper voice called to me as soon as he noticed my presence. I offered a smile in response. At least Caden was easy to get along with.

"What the fuck?" Dennis exclaimed the second he entered.

It startled me enough to look over at him, finding his eyes glued on the credits quielty rolling. I sort of forgot to turn it off before they came in.

"What's your problem?" Sam replied.

"You're watching The Hobbit with him?" He pointed an accusatory finger at me. "I'm really starting to think you're replacing me."

Sam looked at his best friend as if he was losing his mind, picking up the remote to turn off the television. "Why would I be trying to replace you? You've seen The Hobbit like a million times. Sawyer hasn't."

There was no doubt in my mind that I wasn't a replacement for Dennis, that would be insane. I was Sam's boyfriend, not his delusional manwhore best friend. Nothing about our personalities overlapped. We were only watching those movies so that we could further bond.

"Because you are supposed to hate Sawyer! And it's starting to get weird that you guys don't hate each other anymore. And you spend everyday together with him instead of me." Dennis explained frantically.

"Dennis, that's because we have no choice." Sam was very calm as he answered.

"But it's—"

"No buts." He cut him off. "What else are we supposed to do everyday? It gets boring. Watching movies is a great time waster."

He was making very clear points that even I started to believe him. We didn't really have a choice on spending everyday together, that was what started this whole entanglement. However, if this nightmare ever came to an end then we definitely wouldn't cease our time spent together either. In fact, I was starting to forget what my life was like beforehand.

I spent a number of my days with Millie, but it wasn't everyday. Not like this. There was still a large chunk spent in the quiet of an empty home. Finding something in the fridge to heat up when my parents were out especially late. At the time I didn't quite realize it, but it definitely left this empty longing inside of me that was only quenched once Sam and my's relationship changed.

I wondered if he felt that too. This massive home that was empty more often than not, quiet and dark. Everyday that he was away from his friends, it must have been so silent. If I had to live in this place alone, I would have felt like I was suffocating.

What was going to happen to our routine if this threat finally ceased? What days would I be with Millie, what days would I spend with Sam? When would I be stuck hanging out with his friends?

"Calm down, Dennis." Caden smiled brightly at him, taking a seat on the couch not far from me. "Sam uses any excuse to watch those movies, why would he pass up this opportunity? Besides, he's allowed to be friends with other people without taking away from the fact that you're his best friend."

That was a very eloquent way of putting it, and it seemed to do a good job of quelling Dennis' uneasy spirit.

"You're right, but I'm onto you two." He said looking between Sam and me. "I can tell you're friends now."

I didn't have anything to say to that, only sort of letting out a breath when he finished his sentence. His friends were going to lose it when they found out what was actually going on with us, and Dennis would likely be the most thrown off. I could already sense it.

"What's it matter?" Caden said. "I like Sawyer. I'm glad he's friends with us."

That actually made me feel a bit warm inside. It was always difficult to tell where I stood when it came to Sam's friends, but it made me relax knowing that at the very least, Caden was always glad to have me around. He was too positive for his own good.

"We should head out soon." Brian's deep voice caught everyone's attention, and that was when I noticed that the sun was officially gone for the night. It was late enough for us to make our way to the party.

"Yeah, it's about time." Sam sighed, still a bit apprehensive at the idea of going to Chloe's party.

"Cade and I have a few errands to run. We'll meet you guys there." Brian looked at Caden, who quickly stood up and joined him like a duckling following closely behind.

"Alright then, see you guys when we get there. We'll pick up Millie on the way." With Sam's nod, I stood as well.

Since this meant that Dennis was going to be riding in the car with us, I quickly made my way out his front door and to the front seat. This had become my spot as of late, and I was not going to give it up.

"See? Look at this!" Dennis yelled once he saw me. "He's even claiming the passenger seat!"

"Sounds like a you problem." I said to him as I sat comfortably inside, closing the door before he started complaining again.

I could see Sam laughing, who knows at which part. And then he was probably consoling Dennis over the whole thing. A moment later and they were both getting in as well.

"There's something sinister about him." Dennis was muttering.

I couldn't help but snort at that. The only thing he would find sinister about me was what I did to his best friend in the dark.

"Quit complaining. You should have been quicker." Sam told him unsympathetically.

"You've gone to the dark side."

We spent the rest of the car ride listening to Dennis alternate between being excited to get drunk and maybe have sex, or complaining about the fact that I was supposedly stealing his best friend. By the time we got there, I was actually excited to get out of the car just to escape him.

Looking at Chloe's massive house, I couldn't help but feel a vague sense of foreboding. I hoped that the night would go well, but there wasn't any way to know until it happened.

I glanced at Sam, who happened to be looking my way. And I felt a little bit better. Maybe it would be just fine.

•O•O•