Chapter 14

Adrian's POV

5 days later...

Today we've got a pride club, I'm gonna try to talk to Damian about trying to get Derek to not hate me anymore. I think Julian gave me good advice when he told me to just try to talk to him, but I don't want to talk to Derek. I tried to ask him what his problem is, but he just changed the subject. I think I know why he hates me, that being that I know something he has tried to hide from other people, but he should be able to trust me.

I won't out him. I would never just tell people someone's deepest secret. If he so clearly wanted the fact that he's gay secret, then I have no right telling people that he's gay. That's up to him. If he wants to come out, then I won't stop him. If he doesn't want to come out, then I won't stop him. It's his decision. I hope he can figure that out.

I'm walking to the building it's in right now, not with Julian because he said he would be there early. I'm liking UCLA so far, the overall vibes of the place are taking my mind off of the homophobes that are still blowing up my social media private messaging. I should really stop looking, but my curiosity will always be the death of me. Like I've said, if I see a notification go off on my phone, I'm always so quick to check it because that's how dry my life is.

I step into the room, and it's relatively empty except for Damian and Julian, who are sitting at a table together, talking to each other and laughing. They would lowkey work as a couple if they tried. They're both fun people, I feel like Damian's a little bit laid back and shy, and Julian is a very social person. Their personalities would meet in the middle and they would be good for each other.

"Hey guys," I say, sitting down and dapping both of them up.

"Hey Adrian. How you been?" Damian asks.

"Good, how bout you?"

"Eh, I've been alright. I had a date with a guy a few days ago, it was alright. I barely ever put myself out there, I'm usually just waiting, but I just decided to do this and he said yes, so I went on a date with him. It was just okay, I asked him on another date, but I don't know if this will work out."

"Even if it doesn't, you'll find your person at some point, Damian. You're a great guy," Julian states and Damian smiles at him.

"Thanks. I feel like I did find my person in high school, but that didn't work, so I just need to find someone like him, and that's when I know I've finally found the person I really want in my life."

"That'll happen soon, trust me," I state.

"Thanks."

"Damian, could I talk to you alone for a sec?" I ask.

"Yeah, no problem."

"Sorry Julian, I just need to talk to him, it's important."

"No problem."

Julian moves to another table, leaving me and Damian sitting alone so I can talk to him about Derek. He's the only other person that knows that Derek's gay, so he's kind of the only person I can really talk to about this.

"This is about Derek by the way. He's still being a complete dick to me, probably even worse now that I didn't play well in the first game of the season. I don't want to talk to him, because I did try to talk to him and it didn't work. I don't really know what to do at this point. Could you, as a favor, try to talk to him for me?" I ask and Damian shrugs.

"You want me to tell him to not be a dick to you?" he asks and I nod.

"If that's alright with you obviously. You're the only other person that knows that he's gay, so I feel like it would be easier for you to talk to him. I don't know why he has a problem with me knowing, but he's fine with you knowing."

"I don't know either. I think it's because I'm his brother, basically, and he can't really be rude to me. It still doesn't excuse the fact that he's being so rude to you, but it might also be because you walked in on him with another man. I could just sense it in him, and he didn't even deny it. He just admitted that yeah, he is gay, and instead of being angry, he just questioned how I knew he's gay."

"Yeah. That's possible. I walked in on him in the most fucking vulnerable position anyone can be caught in, of course he's not gonna just let me get away with that. But still, he came out to me months before I walked in on him. But he was drunk. Then when I brought it up, he completely denied it and said he was just drunk. I didn't really know what to believe until I walked in on him having sex with a dude, that's when I had no doubts," I ramble.

"Yeah. I'm sorry about him by the way, was he always a dick like this in high school?"

"No. He really wasn't. He was a really nice guy in high school, but the minute I walk in on him, he becomes closed off to me and the rest of the team. I never see him out with any of our teammates. I rarely ever see him outside of practice. I think he just chills in his room all day and doesn't come out unless he has to."

"He talks to me a lot, but I think that's only because he doesn't have to hide himself around me. He can be open about shit, you know what I mean?" he asks and I nod.

"But why did he decide that I'm not someone he can be himself and open around?"

"I don't know. Again, it's probably because you saw him butt naked with another man, so that might make him awkward around you. I really don't know him well enough to be saying these things, so I can't really be the best source of information on him."

"Yeah, I guess. I kind of wish I never walked in on him, because I really cherished our friendship, and not only that, but because of that whole debacle, I chose to go to a fucking football camp with a bunch of homophobes calling me slurs the whole time. If I didn't walk in on him, he wouldn't hate me and I wouldn't have caught all that grief for nothing," I state.

"Yeah, and I'm sorry about all of that. No one deserves that kind of shit. You're a nice guy, I feel like people are just dicks to people in the LGBT community before they get to know us. If you feel like people are treating you like that, just give them the same treatment. If they're judging you for being gay, judge them for shit that might make them insecure. Obviously don't do that if they're not making you feel that way, but if they are, just be a bitch back at them."

"Yeah. I was," I chuckle, remembering what I said when those asshole homophobes tried to fight me that one night.

"Nice. What'd you say?"

"I said they were acting just as gay as me. They were defending each other, which usually is alright, but the way they were defending each other was the way two gay lovers would defend each other."

"Damn. Did it work?" he asks and I nod.

"Yeah. It worked really fucking well," I laugh. "They immediately got super defensive, it was hilarious."

"That's funny. Anyways, I'll talk to Derek, no problem. I'll just get him to stop being a dick to you, because you don't deserve it. You probably didn't want to walk in on him like that, right?" he asks and I nod.

"Yeah, I didn't want to see that. I didn't even know the guy he was fucking. I don't know if they dated after, if they're still dating, or what the whole situation with them is."

"I don't think he's dating anyone right now. He wouldn't be so grumpy all the time if he were dating someone," Damian states.

"Unless he's dating someone he hates."

"Yeah."

Me and Damian stop talking, Julian comes back to our table, and we just talk amongst the three of us. Damian and Julian really do look like they would work out as a couple. They're laughing with each other and already have inside jokes that I don't get.

I really do hope that Derek agrees to stop being rude to me. Our friendship was nice, I really liked spending time with him outside of school. We never hung out alone outside of me driving him around, but even when we were around other people, he was always standing around me. He always seemed comfortable around me and my delusional ass always tried to connect nonexistent dots with each other, but nothing really happened and I should've expected that. He's gay, but not everyone is gay for me.

The other reason for wanting Damian to talk to Derek is the fact that I want our chemistry in games and practices to get back to the stage it was during the end of high school. The two of us ran the best secondary unit in the state, and we were both getting double digit interceptions, we were arguably the two most important players on the team during the playoffs. Watching our tape was like watching art. We were in sync, communicating, moving in the right directions, doing everything right basically.

Now, if you look at the tape of how we played in the last game, we're not talking to each other at all basically, which is the opposite of how we should be playing. We should be constantly talking to each other, like how Coach Nelson told us to. We should be yelling at each other what we see in the playcall. It's a lot of talking, but we did it in high school, so the only difference now is that he doesn't like me anymore.

If me and Derek are able to rekindle our friendship, I am almost sure I'll catch feelings for him again, and I'm prepared for that. I did a decent job at just grinding through not making it obvious that I like him, and I don't think he did realize that I liked him. He didn't ever seem strangely uncomfortable around me in a way that might suggest that he doesn't appreciate that I'm attracted to him. I can just go back to doing that, it won't be that tough.

After the pride club, we've got practice, and then we've got a game tomorrow. Luckily it's a home game, so we'll have that advantage. I don't know how rowdy our fans can get, but hopefully they can really bring some energy into the game. We're gonna need it.

"Alright guys, today's practice is just gonna be normal. Run your drills, make mental notes of what you need to work on, just get ready for our game tomorrow against Arizona State. Remember these things, by the way. Their strengths are run offense, pass defense, and special teams defense. Work on plays that focus on those elements of the game," Coach Nelson tells us.

Me, Devin, Derek, and the rest of the defense get set up in a defensive stance that is made to counter run plays. It's difficult for our team to be a good run defense. Our starting defensive line, which is the first line of defense against the run, is way smaller than other defensive lines. Luckily, our linebackers are good and can get shit done. Me and Derek can also increase the pressure on a run play.

Once we finish, we all go our separate ways, and Derek didn't say a single word to me the whole time other than the normal football communication we have to do. He didn't yell at me, which is one thing, but he didn't say anything to me other than 'get on him' or 'behind you' which are both things you have to say while communicating in football.

I don't know if I'm happy with the fact that he's just not saying anything to me anymore. I guess it's alright, but I still want us to be friends at least. I liked talking to him before I walked in on him, and I think he liked having me as a friend, but now we're not friends anymore and I'm sad about that.

It's alright, hopefully he'll just realize that he's being an asshole for pretty much no reason and we can go back to being friends.

Derek's POV

Practice today was fine. No one did anything wrong today, and to be honest, I'm really starting to feel bad for being such an ass to Adrian. He's such a kind hearted person and I'm just being a dick to him. I'm gonna stop doing that because seeing him sad really hurts me. I don't know what it is, but seeing such a good person in a tired, upset state upsets me as well.

I'm in my dorm room alone right now because DeShaun just told me he had to talk to his girlfriend about 'them.' That can only really mean one thing.

I don't really know his girlfriend well, so I don't know if she was right for him. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. I can't really tell. DeShaun deserves to be loved just like every single one of us, and if he doesn't feel that way about his girlfriend, then he should do the right thing for him, even if it breaks someone else's heart.

Whenever I'm alone, I'm just one my phone playing stupid games that have an ad after every level. I don't know why and how I'm able to tolerate that shit, but when I don't have anything on my mind, I don't really care about what I do.

I get a call from Damian and answer it immediately because that's how little I have going on.

"Hey Damian," I answer from my end.

"Hey Derek. Could we meet at the tables outside your dorm building? We need to talk about something," he states, his voice kind of stern.

"Alright. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, but it's kind of important for us to talk about this."

"Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can," I tell him.

"Great. See you soon."

He hangs up and I get out of my bed, getting shoes on. I don't know what he wants to talk about. Hopefully my dad isn't dying or something. That would be pretty fucking sad. I just barely met him, I don't want to lose him so soon.

I get to the tables outside my dorm building, meeting Damian exactly where he wanted us to meet. He's sitting there already, doing exactly what I was doing 5 minutes ago, mindlessly tapping his phone. It's addicting, of course I'm gonna get hooked.

"Hey," I greet him. "What's wrong?"

"Adrian. We need to talk about Adrian and the way you're treating him."

"Okay..."

"Well, Adrian told me you're being a dick to him. I feel really bad for him because you know, the shit he saw he didn't intentionally see or want to see. It's not his fault he saw what he saw basically. You can't just be a dick to him for no reason."

"I know. I feel terrible actually. I'm gonna stop being rude to him, not because you told me, I actually decided to be nice to him before, but this is just enforcing that. I'm gonna be nice to him from now on," I declare, meaning it for real. I really don't want to make Adrian feel bad anymore, he's an amazing guy and I mean that so sincerely.

"Good. Because you don't know what might be going on with him. I feel like he might be facing extreme homophobia. Sports fans are generally alright, but there are football superfans in the South that want nothing more than to see all of us suffer, and for all we know, an openly gay football player signing to a D1 college might really tick them off. Adrian might be getting death threats, Derek. He might be getting fucking death threats."

I take a moment to really process that. Adrian, one of my favorite teammates, might be getting death threats from homophobes. That's so upsetting. And I'm not helping. We were good friends, and now he doesn't really have anyone to talk to about his problems. I'm making it worse for him probably, by just being a complete dick to him. If he can't find peace on his social media and the digital world (?) then I should not be making it worse for him in the real world.

"Yeah. I'll stop being a dick to him. I feel terrible for him," I state and Damian nods.

"Good. I'm not asking you to be really good friends with him out of nowhere, but at least don't treat him badly. Don't make it seem like you hate him, because you don't, right?" he asks.

"I don't hate him. Like I said, we were really good friends before he walked in on me, and if I didn't make a stupid decision that day, I think we would still be very close friends today. I feel horrible for what I've done, Damian, and I really hope that he can forgive me."

"Good. I'm not mad at you, by the way. I'm just kind of confused as to why you thought it was a good decision to be rude to him for no reason, other than him knowing your deepest secret. I know that you're gay, not once were you an asshole to me," he says and I nod.

"I don't know. It's probably because it was so embarrassing for him to see me like that. That was humiliating, I can't even lie. For someone to see me, with another dude, after I so adamantly denied being gay, is so horrible. I didn't know how to react, so I needed him to stay quiet."

"Then why weren't you an asshole to me?" he asks.

"Because you're my brother? I don't know, I still have no idea how you know that I'm gay."

"Gaydar. My gaydar is literally elite. I was getting a vibe from you right off the bat, and I guessed, and I was right. It was a gut feeling, obviously, but yeah, I could tell that you like men."

"Wow. Who else have you used that on?" I ask.

"Some of my teammates. There are four or five of them that are at least bi, according to my gaydar."

"Are you attracted to any of them?" I question.

"God, no. I don't fuck with hockey boys. They're not my type, not even close. Sure, they're cute and whatever, they just try way too hard. Baseball boys, that's a different story. They try, but they aren't fucking putting all the possible hair products into their hair unless they bleach their hair," Damian says.

"That's damn near all of them," I state.

"Not all of them. Some of them have dignity and don't want to look like Eminem, so they keep their hair it's natural color. Bleached hair is kind of a magnet that is not the opposite of the magnet that's on you. So you are immediately driven away from them."

"What hair color do you like?" I ask.

"Black hair. For sure, black hair."

"Is that the hair of your date the other day?"

"Yeah. I forgot to tell you about him. He was aight. Nothing crazy, I agreed to another date, but I don't know if I really want to go on another date. He was short and clearly thought that he was taller than he actually is," he grimaces.

"That's embarrassing."

"Yeah, it is. I've never seen a 5'6 guy that acts like he's 6'5."

"Neither have I. Probably a lot of people that drive fucking massive ass trucks. I don't know if this stereotype is true, but people that own giant trucks that don't use them for work are compensating for something else. Do you think that's true?" I ask Damian and he nods.

"Yes. That is 100% true. People that own fucking giant Ford F150s and they aren't passed down from their parents or they're not using it for work, they definitely have tiny dicks. Or they're 5'4 guys that feel the need to be in control on the road because God knows they don't have control over anything else."

I laugh at this. "Yeah, definitely. Anyways, yeah, I'll stop being a dick to Adrian. I might take some time to be friends with him again, but yeah, I'll stop saying mean things to him."

"Good. Thanks. See you later, Derek," he says, getting up from his seat.

"See you later."

I walk back inside and take a long ass nap.

2 days later...

We won our game against Arizona State. Our defense was fine in this game, and me and Adrian didn't really have that much to do because their run offense is significantly stronger than their pass offense.

I didn't really say much to Adrian because I didn't need to, but I really hope he doesn't think I'm still being mean to him. I don't want him to be upset at me.

At the very least, I don't think I should get involved in his life unless he actually wants me to, so I will just give him space and not be a dick to him. That's all I'm gonna do right now. I'm not gonna coddle him though. I'm not gonna give him a free pass for mistakes in games, but I'm not gonna yell at him the way I did in our first game.

I still feel bad for that.

I'll probably just say something like 'make sure to stay on him' or 'it's fine, don't worry about it' so he doesn't start stressing about it.

A/N: I feel like this was a filler chapter. Next chapter is important. Starting with the next chapter, this book will start really hitting it's stride and the writing will actually start flowing out of me instead of me having to grind through every single sentence. I hope you're enjoying this so far, I'm sorry if you guys hated Derek at the beginning of the book, but you won't hate him after the next few chapters. Thanks for reading!!!