How This Story Ends

My therapists have said I like control

Like to play the mastermind and command my drones

Like "straightforward" and "clear as day"

I like anticipation but I don't like to wait

I've always known how each story ends

I skip forward to the ending before turning each page as recommended

I write as I see it but I'm not afraid to erase

Whole plotlines or characters

How easy they become disgraced

And I'm sure you've been wondering

How this itty bitty chapter book ends

Filled with outrageous filler

Broken promises and farfetched depths

It was an unexpected one to write, you know?

If it wasn't due to desperation I would've never put your name in the fill in the blank spaces

But sadness leads to questioning and my questions lead me to write

And as I read you the final sentence, know this was planned ahead of time

'The heroine was always a puppeteer scheming

She only pretended to know right from wrong

But self-control did she have plenty

Because no matter how many times her eyes glowed a deep ember

She stuck it out in an unfulfilling bond

Back then she knew she was sinking quickly

She knew she had to grab the life vest as fast as she could

And though she disliked the one who offered it out

She swallowed her pride to pick it up

When her jockeys and trusted ones doubted her

Left her for dead back in the stream

She settled for less like she knew she would

She knew she had to pay out her debts to the stars up above

And years later after battling witches and overcoming torturous terrains

Her original intent was not long forgotten

For the length of time passed she decided "what could it hurt to settle just a bit longer?"

Much to her surprise, the intent switched between partners

Now fighting for control, the heroine's rage began to overwhelm her

She always knew it would come to this, but couldn't believe it was now a duel

She had to strike first, she knew simply ignoring pleas of armistice would not suffice

She picked up her weapon and told her opponent she was willing to give her time

The betrayer then agreed, they both cried because someone's life was coming to a close

But the faithful mastermind had other plans, this is how you win and let go

She believed in symbolism and she believed in departures

She planted all the seeds and was hopeful they would grow in modest

And come the Fall time there would be no more fighting

In silence she moved and in silence she celebrated

Released her doubts and insecurities, the need to be in control

She realized it was simply because the person who claimed to be so close to her never believed in her growth

She spouted things to keep her below water

Regurgitated the follies and taunts of those she was told were lethal wounds

Added weight to the continuous sinking lifeboat

Only wanted the heroine to come and salvage her

And now how the story ends

Of the heroine and that whom disappointed her

Always knew "forever" was not a promise

Felt uncomfortable because a future together brought the other girl solace

The puppeteer a schemer, like a wolf in sheep's clothing

Helpless and hurting until she regained her hypnotic knowledge

The heroine, a beacon of light and laughter

How her beauty sweeps up two distinct actors

Our main character, once helpless, no longer needing a person to make her feel less alone

Her arc is completed

She feels love on her own

It was set forth by the pages

The twisting of threads is complete

Fate is now sealed

The betrayer is now erased

"Since the beginning, the heroine knew she and the girl would not be friends for long. The truth was that she was only using her, the way she knew the girl was using her as well. Both thought they were quick-witted, with each outsmarting the other. No such luck, however, but at least both got a bit of something they so desperately wanted.

Two puzzle pieces never meant to fit each other, broken ceramics and tape they thought could fix up the other. These girls were bound by a cruel world, and in the end, you can't blame each other.

The heroine's eyes turned a light blue from a stormy gray, and she learned to relish life after almost throwing it away. The other girl finally took her nose out from the inside of her backpack, learning to honor people and recognize her talents. What perfection those two could have done for each other had they only been true to their hearts. But the heroine could never let go of fear so easy, so both were dragged along.

She came to resent the other girl, for keeping her down though the fault was her own. She didn't understand why she had so much power over her until they finally let each other go. The one time use became a multi-year use and feelings of acceptance quickly morphed into feelings of despair. She learned the other girl wasn't a free bird soaring, and the boulders she carried soon crept onto our heroine's shoulders unfairly.

The heroine came to learn that her fears were much greater than she could have ever known. The other girl never put a pause to her insecurities, instead she added gasoline to the coals. And when she grew isolated and sad, she thought the other would make her laugh. Instead, she went to others, cackling. She couldn't believe that after all this time she stayed. She knew she would finally have to leave.

So the heroine thought about leaving over and over, just like she had done post the first year they wholeheartedly met. But the tendrils dug deep into her, and she thought leaving would put her safety at risk. Now there would be no one to text, no sense of companionship back home, no one would ever love her, even though she knew the other girl didn't love her like she told.

The truth was they were in flames, and there is no salvaging burnt ashes. She always knew it would be this way, after all, she was the master.

So she called up the other girl, told her to take some time apart and think. She knew like she knew from the beginning, there was no thinking left. That was it.

The heroine sighed deeply. Right after there were no more tears. She felt lighter than ever, and she felt her heart open like she was a little kid. Here was the mastermind at work, putting herself through trials and tribulations. Randevuing with those she knew would be the best character assassinators, burning bridges just to rebuild them in a different location. And though the original plot was reworked and rewritten, the final statement always stayed the same.

The heroine was now alone, starting over, facing her biggest fear. But she knew it beat the alternative, which was the hell she was living in the past couple of years.

Written on: September 27, 2023

A/N- It's been a long time coming. Words speak volumes, but silence speaks louder.